And Who The Hell Are You?
by Zeil
Summary: Slash. What would have happened if it was Tony in Kate's place during Bete Noir... has developed into a much longer story with multiple endings. Go figure...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own NCIS or anything else that'smade any money. Does anyone else notice a trend with these...

Notes: I'm gonna be slapped for this one... Sorry it's just an idea that was bouncing around my head. Don't expect anything fantastic... Just pointless slash in an unlikely setting.

**And Who The Hell Are You?**

Prologue

_Bete Noir_

It's okay honey there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of... Except that fog that turns people inside out.

Marge

Abbey dropped the box down in front of Tony as he looked up from his desk, phone pressed firmly to his ear. He said his goodbyes a moment later and hung up looking at her expectantly.

"Ducky's acting funny and he wants these samples down in the morgue and I can't go down because I've developed this fear of autopsies. Can you please just take them." She said in a rush.

"Autopsies?" Tony said sceptically, she shoved the box towards him.

"Take now, tease later." She said.

"Wouldn't dream of it. Actually I'm not too crazy about vampires myself." He shared with a lopsided grin, vainly attempting to calm her.

"Thanks Tony. Vampires?"

"Hey what's a trip to he lab between friends." He laughed, changing the subject.

"Actually Ducky's in kind of a funny mood." Abbey said her brow creasing.

"Funny as in slightly off..." Tony asked suspiciously.

"Or funny I should drop the box in and run."

"Drop the box and run."

"You owe me a coffee... a big one." Tony grumbled as he headed off towards the elevator.

Tony stepped confidently out of elevator, the chilled morgue air not slowing him in the slightest. He felt a pang of sympathy for Abbey's discomfort but couldn't truly understand it since he'd never even on his first trip to a morgue felt creped out by it. It was cold storage for dead body's, lifeless shells, live people were what caused Tony worry. They were liable to turn around and smack you in the face, dead body's... not so much. Tony paused at the glass doors and pushed, puzzled when they didn't open.

"Ducky?" He called through the doors.

"Hi McGee, I didn't expect you. I thought for sure Abbey would drop that off to Tony or Kate." Ducky said through the doors, voice muffled. Tony's first impulse was to correct him and then laugh. But as Abbey said something was really off, Ducky didn't just call him McGee for nothing.

"Well Kate was busy and ya know Tony dump all the remedial work on the rookie." Tony said lamely not sure how to act like McGee. Can I be that awkward and dorky.

"Yes well hazing as ridiculous as it is happens to be is one of Tony favourite activities. Fortunately I don't think he's liable to dowse you in shaving cream, stupid arse that he can be." Ducky grumbled and Tony paused before answering. Ouch, does he really see me that way?

"Are ya sure or is that something I should be watching out for?" Tony said still unsure whether or not to be offended.

"Don't worry..." Ducky said with a laugh.

"I'm sure the fact that Gibbs would kill him if he did will keep him in line."

"Thanks Ducky... so what's up with the quarantine, should I worry." Tony asked, eyes inspecting the dark space closely.

"No, no just some spots I found on our body here, it's probably nothing... but better safe than an outbreak of the Ebola virus." Ducky joked.

"So I should just leave this at the door then." Tony asked uncertainly.

"Yes, yes, I think we've taken quite enough of each others time." Duck said waving him away.

"Right, I'll kick Tony in the arse for you when I get back upstairs." Tony said, causing Ducky to chuckle.

"Much appreciated Timmy, thanks for the delivery." Tony nodded placing the box at the door, he turned and tried to keep his steps even as he ventured towards the elevator. He didn't move fast enough.

Chapter One

_Actions And Reactions_

All life's a stage and the men and women merely players…

William Shakespeare

Tony rested facedown on one of Ducky's spare autopsy tables, the metal cold under his sweaty skin. His body straining under his every tensed muscle, as the terrorist palming the 9mm patted him down. His gun had long since been removed and his ID fished out from his back pocket.

"Are you any good with this?" The man standing over him questioned.

"Would I carry it if I wasn't." He answered, inhaling and gritting his teeth as the sound of his gun being ripped apart and reassembled met his ears.

"Nice, well taken care of too. I've always said you can tell a lot about an agent by the way he treats weapons and women." He paused.

"We've similar tastes in both I think. 9mm Berretta with an 18 mag clip rather than your standard 15. I hope you know agent DiNozzo that that clip is barely legal even for an NCIS. Seems slightly overboard, are you sure you're apt with this." The warm drawl floated to his ears and pissed Tony off.

"Give back my gun and I'll demonstrate." Tony bit, throwing caution to the wind. Tony could hear the bastard smirk.

"Perhaps another time. You may turn now agent DiNozzo." Tony slowly turned over staying on the table looking around what he could now see of the darkened room.

"Agent An-tiony DiNozzo, not Timothy McGee." It was a statement.

"You lied to me agent DiNozzo. Dr Mallard please explain to him what the penalty for lying is." He said stepping into Tony's line of sight. He had close-cropped brown hair, dark brown eyes and Sharp features.

"If we at any point try to lie to him, trick him, inform others of his presence or don't answer his questions he will shoot Gerald in his subclavian artery. So please Tony no heroics." Ducky said.

"A little late for that Dr Mallard." He said.

"Tony didn't know the consequences of lying to you." Ducky stated.

"But you did." He answered simply. There was a space of about five seconds after the terrorist shot Gerald where it didn't register for Tony. Then without much conscious thought Tony's body was moving as he jumped off the table to help Ducky.

The only thing Tony knew about medicine was that it took 4-7 years to learn it. What he did know for sure was that he'd seen a fellow agent shot once before, the guy had been hit three times and all those wounds together hadn't produced this much blood. After about 20 minutes of mindlessly following Ducky's commands of put that here and hold that there and hand me that. The bullet was finally dug out and the gushing stopped.

Tony's attention had only slipped once. He was pressing a gauze to Gerald's shoulder while Ducky hunted for the bullet. His eyes drifted over to the corner where the terrorist was digging through the box that Tony had brought down. Most of the possessions were studied briefly and then tossed aside, something though was slipped into his pocket. Tony watched as the hand came back out empty, his eyes then drifted and he realised that he was being watched while he watched. He did nothing bar match Tony's blank expression.

Then Ducky had scolded him, breaking him out of his reprieve and pissing contest. Though Tony wasn't quite sure that that's what it was.

"Tony I know it's hard but try'en concentrate for more than five seconds. This is rather serious you know." Ducky snapped, upset with his own foolish shortsightedness.

"What's wrong Duck. Looks like your doing fine to me." Tony said eyes now pinned on Gerald.

"Not really I've stopped the bleeding, but in order to do that I've had to clamp the nerve. If this isn't repaired soon Gerald could lose his arm." Ducky groaned.

"Can't you do it." Tony said.

"That would take a staff of three and an equipped operating room. I don't know if you've noticed lately Tony but this is the morgue its designed for tearing bodies apart not putting them back together."

Chapter Two

_Don't..._

If you ever do anything… Make sure its stupid and halfarsed…

The phone stated trilling in the background, breaking the tangible silence that had filled the morgue.

"Don't be rude agent DiNozzo... answer the phone." He drawled

"And what am I to say?" Tony asked. The arse raised an eyebrow.

"I just don't want anyone else to get up close and personal with a 9mm bullet."

"You are to speak to agent Gibbs, tell him that there's someone here looking for the rest of the possessions from your latest case. Inform him of Gerald's condition and that if he wants the rest of the team back unharmed he will deliver personally the rest of the evidence to the lab in twenty minutes. Anything specific about me or what I may and may not want and I put a bullet in your knee." Tony picked up the phone

"Hi boss."

"Tony what's..."

"Two minutes agent DiNozzo. I suggest you don't mess it up." Tony inhaled glaring.

"Boss shut up and listen. I have someone down here wanting the evidence from the case we're working. You have to deliver it to the lab in twenty minutes or he'll shoot Ducky and I. Gerald's already got his own brand spanking new bullet wound and he really needs a doctor like right now." There was silence on the other end.

"How's Gerald?"

"Ducky stopped the bleeding but..." A dark hand pressed the phones receiver. Tony glared at him biting his bottom lip. Tony held up the handset surrendering it.

"He's coming, happy." He spat.

"You should be, because now I won't have to put a bullet in your head." He smiled at Tony.

"Thought it was my knee." Another smile.

"Very good agent DiNozzo and to think you had me worried for a second there." He said warmly with a condescending edge, which made Tony sneer. The terrorist turned his back stepping off, Tony looked down at the tray beside Gerald's table a scalpel glinted back at him. He looked up and found Ducky watching him, the doctor shook his head.

"Don't." He whispered.

"Sorry what was that Dr Mallard." He said, turning back towards them.

"Ducky was just telling me not to cut your head off since you'd just use that as excuse to shoot Gerald again. That is why you let it be left out right." Tony said picking up the blade.

"Is that what you think agent DiNozzo?" He asked.

"No that's Ducky's theory. I think that without a head... you won't be shooting anyone else." Tony stated and lunged, genuinely aiming for the bastards throat... The bastard was quicker. Tony's hand was knocked and he blade skimmed across several inches of shoulder before finally embedding and leaving Tony's hand. Both of his arms were seized and twisted painfully behind his back. One arm being wrenched on until Tony yelped involuntarily. Tony was forced to bend his knees slightly to keep his arms from being dislocated and the terrorist who naturally had about three inches on Tony was now towering over him. The blade still sticking from his shoulder.

"Nice shot." He said nonchalantly.

"I was aiming for your neck." Tony growled.

"Sorry I made you miss taking my head off." He laughed.

"Pity." Tony bit.

"It could only be an improvement." At that he chuckled.

"I respect people willing to do what it takes An-tiony." He whispered leaning close to Tony's ear while his eyes remain fixed on doctor Mallard over Tony's shoulder.

He shoved Tony away sending him stumbling back into Gerald's table. He pulled out the scalpel and pulled off his cut shirt. Showing a dark singlet and a toned body. Blood ran from his shoulder.

"Foolish to risk your friend on a flesh wound." He said inspecting the damage.

"If you had been more cooperative and stood still then it wouldn't be a flesh wound. Beside you didn't say anything about trying to kill you." Tony said smugly.

"Fair enough." He said.

"But since this isn't deep and won't require stitches you can clean and dress it agent DiNozzo." He said.

"Now..." He ordered coldly when Tony didn't move.

"Or else I will introduce Gerald to another bullet."

Chapter Three

_What the ...!_

And now it's time for 'What the…'

Rove, Rove Live

After Ducky had been unceremoniously shoved into one of the morgue lockers. Tony was made to clean and dress the wound. The son-of-a-bitch was right it wasn't that deep at all, except for the last half inch that almost scraped bone. Tony bit his lip trying to clean and dress the wound as quickly as possible and by no means even trying to be gentle. The terrorist was perched on one of Ducky's lower counters making him only slightly shorter then DiNozzo. Tony dabbed at the wound not wanting to cause anymore damage, which would mean more work and him staying close to this arsehole for even longer.

"Your quite talented agent DiNozzo." He murmured.

"Not really." Tony bit shortly and then swallowed.

"It's fairly self-explanatory like putting a bandaid on a scraped knee. Nothing to be proud of." Tony rambled.

"I wasn't talking about your medical skills agent DiNozzo. Though those are... interesting. I was referring to your career." He said looking straight at Tony, who avoided his gaze like the plague instead focusing on what he was doing.

"What would you know of my career?" Tony asked sceptical.

"I know you were rather brilliant the five years you spent in narcotics. But I'm curious why did leave, your file doesn't say exactly. I do have my suspicions but please tell me." He asked silkily. Tony bit his lip and glared at him angrily, his stomach churning madly. Get a grip. He scolded, but the feeling remained.

"What is this punishment." Tony growled, licking his lips.

"Patching up my shoulder?" He said with amusement.

"Sort of." He said lazily.

"Sort of?" Tony said.

"Its more of a lesson." He said.

"What?" Confusion replacing annoyance.

"Well had you cut me deeper my shoulder would have needed stitches. I wouldn't have made you do those. This is punishment for doing a half-arsed job. Do something right, or not at all." His said quietly, voice lathered with sarcasm.

"It would have been right if you hadn't moved." Tony bit, a kiss-my-arse smile playing across his lips.

"Maybe next time." He drawled. Tony shook his head biting his tongue bitterly. He applied the gauze sticking it to the cleaned flesh, the wound still weeping droplets of blood. He looked down at his own handy work and finally noticed the contradictory line of blood which for some reason defied logic and ran across the shoulder and down his back. It forked of into two lines just beneath his shoulder blades and then ended shortly after, leaving the rest of his back unmarred.

Tony started to move around to the back of the table. Fingers closed around his arm and pulled him back.

"I have to clean your back." Tony said a little stiffly at the contact.

"So."

"It's easier to clean from around there." Tony bit, jaw clenching.

"But I don't trust you behind me agent DiNozzo... Even without the scalpel." He said teasingly. Tony glared.

He struggled with cleaning the arses back from where he'd originally been standing, it was harder now with an arm wrapped around his waist, making sure he didn't go anywhere. The contact made his skin prickle and his stomach knot, the lab was unnaturally quiet, oppressively so, it was amplified by the man sitting before him. He had shot Gerald in cold blood only moments before, what the hell was stopping him from doing the same thing to the man who'd stabbed him.

Tony wiped the last smear of blood up and stepped back.

"I'm finished." He ground out glaring. He turned and a hand wrapped around his wrist again, pulling him back. Tony froze his body going rigid, he swallowed and looked down into searching eyes... What were you expecting him to ask you nicely! A voice chided. Tony's other wrist was taken and he was held in front of the bastard.

"What?" Tony demanded, the sound of the elevator starting suddenly blared in the background.

Chapter Four

_We've Got Problems_

I tried so hard and got so far,

But in the end it doesn't even matter

Linkin Park, In The End

It's stopped amusing Tony long ago how quickly things can change. It seems like only minutes have passed since he wads shoved into the draw beside Ducky's and yet it can't be... Since in those few minutes Gibbs has been shot, Gerald's been rushed to hospital and the terrorist has left very much the same way he came in.

There's several hours of arduous questioning by people who have badges and weapons and the authority to debrief him but no actual department that Tony can remember being mentioned.

Eventually though Tony is allowed to go. Selfishly he heads straight home and after scrubbing himself raw fell into bed. Sleep came entirely too easily and Tony paid for it with nightmares. Tony awoke at about four o'clock in a cold sweat. His stomach was knotted worse than ever and didn't feel any better after he'd brought up everything eaten for lunch. He scrubbed the vomit taste from his mouth and then sighing got into his car and drove. Forty-five minutes of wondering found him at Abbey's door, fifteen minutes of obsessing had him knocking. The door opened immediately and then Abbey stood before him in full Goth regalia.

"Tony? I thought only us vampires were awake at this time of morning." Abbey joked.

"Do you sleep in that?" Tony questioned groggily.

"Sleep?" Abbey said laughter touching her voice. Then she really looked at Tony and realised how worn and sick and haunted he looked. Usually Tony was happy-go-lucky, even at five in the morning.

Abbey pulled Tony inside and after sitting him down on her couch made him some special Irish herbal tea. Which was more vodka than tea.

"Tony what's wrong?" Abbey asked though she already had an idea, you'd have to be an idiot not to. Tony spilled an entire different story to the one Abbey had imagined.

"Hey whoa Tony, I don't know where this is coming from but you have nothing to feel guilty about. You did everything you could to help Ducky and Gerald. None of this is your fault." She said. Tony had told her almost everything, whether it was the late hour or just the wrought-ness of his nerves Tony let out more than he usually would have. He spilled out questions about his own guilt and responsibility in the situation. There was also a whole heap of questions he didn't spill and Abbey wasn't sure how to broach what she thought they were...

Mostly though there was guilt... a whole truckload of it, Abbey tried to reassured him that it wasn't his fault. Tried to quell his fears. As for the unasked questions, he obviously wasn't comfortable talking with her about it. Or probably just talking about it at all. She let those go for the night, she decided that at six o'clock in the morning Tony probably just needed sleep. She tucked him in on the couch and hours later when it was late enough she called in sick for him and then headed off to work herself. Half of the department was out anyway Gibbs had been forced to take at least a day to rest his shoulder and Ducky was still with Gerald. Kate still made her way in seemingly unoffended by the whole event. McGee filled in along with several other who Abbey didn't even meet because, the lab was still a little too shuffled to handle real cases. So mostly they spent the day on left over paper work. Tony would have hated it anyway.

It wasn't until after the whole Voss fiasco that they talked again. Everyone else had headed home and Abbey was packing up the lab when Tony came back.

Abbey was surprise to see him. The day he spent at her house was the last time they'd made eye contact. She'd come home and he was gone. He'd came in the next day and was back to his old self. Well sort of. He was less happy and more obsessed with having Gibbs's approval. Abbey had tried several times to talk to him, he dodges them all. He also replaced his flippant evening dates with going to see Gerald religiously. Abbey felt that it was his self-delegated penance.

So she was shocked when he came to her after Voss, with tears just pricking at the corners of his eyes.

"Abbey am I gay?" He asked bluntly. Abbey sighed and sat down, it was going to be a really long night.

Chapter Five

_Who Am I?_

I am one, who am I?

Nigel Crane, CSI

"Tony I can't answer that." She said.

"Human sexuality is really complex. Most psychologists don't even try to categorise it for that reason." She sighed.

"I suppose it's all what you really consider gay and straight." She tried.

"And if I consider tonguing a guy gay?" Tony asked flatly.

"Okay let's just look at the facts here for a second..." Abbey said sipping now warm coke.

"You kissed a guy who was essentially a woman." Tony glared at her.

"No seriously hear me out. You met her as a woman Tony, you didn't know that she use to be a guy and still had the hots for her." Abbey shrugged.

"You took her for who she was a smart, funny, big-chested-"

"Guy." Tony said winning him a dirty look from Abbey.

"Tony now that you know she's Voss do ya still wanna jump in the sack?"

"No." Tony said.

"Well, then what's the problem?" Abbey said throwing up her hands.

"Nothing I guess it's just Kate..."

"Forget Kate she's so sexually repressed its unbelievable." Abbey laughed.

"There's also the other thing Abbey." Tony said quietly.

"What?" Abbey questioned.

"The morgue..." It clicked then for Abbey, they'd moved onto another problem that'd been eating at Tony for a long time.

"I just keep screwing up Abbey... and I can't stop!" He said.

"You think Gerald's your fault don't you?" Abbey questioned bluntly, this could be the only chance she had to take to Tony. He flinched and something flashed behind his eyes. He didn't have to say anything, Abbey knew full well when she'd touched a nerve. So that's it.

"Tony situations like that make you crazy. Whatever happened in that damned room doesn't say a thing about you. Nobody reacts well to something like that." Abbey tried to get her point across but somehow she just couldn't think of a way to make him better. Couldn't think of anything to say that would fix all of his doubts. Abbey sighed after a moment and eventually gave up. She pulled Tony into her arms, he cuddled into her shoulder breathing against her neck. She patted his back reassuringly. Abbey didn't believe for a second that she'd helped him at all.

Chapter Six

_Confliction_

I wanna run away…

Never say goodbye.

Linkin Park, Runaway

"He's conflicted." Kate said speaking sagely about things she had no fucking clue on. Her whiney voice followed Tony down the hallway. Damn right he was conflicted. Abbey said that he was a good person, a good agent and yet McGee seemed to do his job even better and everybody loved the dorky little bastard. What Abbey had said to him in the lab was nice but in the long run it didn't really seem true.

The terrorist had dredged up a lot of baggage for Tony and it wasn't going away. Worst of all was the relationship he and Gibbs now had. The older man seemed to be keeping him at arms distance now more than ever and for some insane reason that seemed to make him even more desperate for the mans approval. He wanted Gibbs to say that he needed him. Only he knew he had as much chance of that happening as he did of Kate seeing him as more than just a bubble-headed body.

The feelings of doubt were punctuated by the nightmares he now had on an almost daily basis. He would be back in the lab with the son-of-a-bitch. Most started the same way, with him slicing open the bastard's shoulder and then his arm would be grabbed. The bastard would remove the knife from his shoulder and hold it up in front of Tony, blood trickling down the blade. 'Nice shot' He repeated before plunging the knife into Tony stomach... You weren't suppose to feel pain in dreams but Tony swears he can feel the blade going in and being pulled down... gutting him with ridiculous ease. Unbelievably those were the better of his dreams.

The more disturbing ones would have him shooting Gerald or Ducky for Tony's mistake. He couldn't actually look Gibbs in the eyes after dreaming that, not for the rest of the day at least. Fearing that the man would simply look at him and know. Gibbs would just know that he couldn't do anything right, that he was a liability to the team... that he always had been. He didn't think he could stand seeing disappointment in those azure eyes, the more innate fear though was that Gibbs would realise and fire him on the spot. Tony knew that it probably wouldn't happen but...

So yeah he was conflicted.

Chapter Seven

_Where Do I Fit_

And where is it that you think you fit, in their New World.

Blade, Blade Trinity

It was as Tony moped off home almost a week after Kate had said that he was conflicted that Gibbs finally decided to call him on it. Everyone else had already headed home for the night and Gibbs cornered him in the break room. Tony turned and upon seeing Gibbs silhouetted in the door of the darkened break room gasped and jumped. Gibbs flicked on the light.

"God boss you try'en to give me a heart attack." Tony cried.

"It'd be a reaction." He said.

"What?" Tony asked.

"Ever since the terrorist Tony you've been acting like a more neurotic version of me." Gibbs said. Tony smiled obligatorily. There was none of his usual goofy warmness to it. That made Gibbs's heart pang. He brushed a lock of stray hair from Tony's eyes. His hands then slipping down to the younger agent's shoulders For the first time in ages Tony actually looked at his face. Not quite his eyes but an improvement none the less.

"What's wrong Tony." He asked.

"I'm thinking of leaving." Tony whispered, the words spilling out like vomit.

"The building?" Gibbs said jokingly. Trying vainly to make him smile

"NCIS."

Gibbs's face was blank, if there was a joke he didn't get it.

"What?" he asked gently

"I think I've gotten as much as I can from NCIS." Tony whispered defeatedly, no longer even looking in Gibbs's general direction. Gibbs, who opened his mouth, then closed it.

"I don't think I'm needed here." Tony said.

"Your always needed here Tony. But if you really feel unsatisfied here I can always talk to the directors about a transfer." Gibbs said slowly.

"Boss..." Tony said guilt welling in his stomach.

"Its okay DiNozzo, McGee was looking for a permanent position anyway so... bye Tony." Gibbs said disjointedly like he was unsure of where he was. Tony tried to speak but Gibbs was already out of the room. A retreating figure in the blackness. They really don't need me. He thought dejectedly.

Gibbs hopped into his car stunned. He was numb from shock. Like someone had just dowsed him with ice water on a forty-degree day. But the iciness was starting to recede. White-hot anger melting it. Pretty soon Gibbs was seething. How dare he... How can he just walk out on the department, on us, on me. Gibbs fumed. Little bastard I'll choke him.

Gibbs screeched around the streets, obeying speed limits becoming the last thing on his mind. He felt irrational anger rolling through his entire body, soaking every fibre. He was choking on the bitter taste. Gibbs hadn't felt this pissed since his first wife had given him the devoice papers and even then that anger hadn't been underlaid by feelings of hurt and betrayal because he'd seen it coming. Tony quitting had hit a nerve that Gibbs would never admit to having.

Miles dripped passed like water, it seemed the angrier Gibbs got the more he ranted to himself and the more he ranted the more pissed he became with Tony. It was a vicious unending cycle... Well actually it ended rather abruptly when Gibbs stopped his car and stepped up to Tony's door. I'm gonna kill the little bastard and bury his body next to my spare boat parts. Was then his single thought.

Chapter Eight

_With You_

I'm standing on a bridge

I'm waiting in the dark

I thought that you'd be here by now…

Advril Lavigne, I'm With You

Tony sat alone in the dark, looking at his shadows thrown across his cream walls. It wasn't as if he'd wanted Gibbs to fall to his knees and beg him not to go... but god a simple 'I want you to stay', was that too much to ask.

Tony shifted, stomach squirming with uncertainty. Maybe it was for the best, everything Tony had said earlier was true. He couldn't really go anywhere else in NCIS. That would be his job for however long he stayed. Unless of cause Gibbs died... The thought made his stomach lurch. Gibbs was driving him crazy lately but he certainty didn't want the man dead. Beside it wasn't anything Gibbs was doing, it was himself making him crazy. He was obsessed with having the man's approval. Obsessed with it, coveting it and it was making him nutty. He didn't know why but he needed to hear that he was needed and he needed to hear it from Gibbs.

Someone knocked on his door, interrupting his self-depredating thoughts. Actually it was more like someone trying to bust it down.

Gibbs was never a patient person and he also never could control his temper with Tony. Which is why it doesn't surprise him when he slams on Tony's door even though there was no conscious thought behind it. He considered trying knocking, before banging on the door a second time.

"Tony open this fucking door." Gibbs said realising only after how insane he sounded. He still didn't care. Surprisingly the door opened a few minutes later.

"Boss?" Tony asked feigning the after-effects of sleep.

"Don't play with me DiNozzo." He growled, knowing the younger agent had been doing no such thing. He pushed past Tony and into the living room.

"Where precisely the fuck do you get off trying to pull this I'm moving to another department shit." He yelled.

"It was just a thought." Tony mumbled, dazed. He'd never see this type of anger from his boss before. Gibbs always seemed to keep some kind of leash on his temper, except for now.

"What directly the fuck do you think you doing?" Gibbs gritted in a voice that sent shivers down Tony's spine.

"Boss I.. I..." He stuttered. Gibbs shoved him against the wall, pinning him there. Gibbs's body crushed against his, his breath buffeting hotly against Tony's face and Tony inhaled it as he gasped at the force being exerted on his shoulders. The pressure on his arms only increased.

"What Tony? You. Were. What?" Gibbs snarled in his face. Tears settled into the corners of his eyes. Gibbs must have thought him a real chid then. He was crying for Christ's fucking sake.

"I thought you didn't... you said McGee was and I didn't think I was needed..." Tony said brokenly.

"Jesus fucking Christ Tony." Gibbs mumbled, resting his forehead against Tony's.

"You stupid fucking bastard." He sighed pulling back from Tony, his hand cupped Tony's cheek.

"Tony I like McGee as much as the next person and he'd be a nice addition to the team, but he's not you. I want you sitting at the desk across from me." He said.

"Sorry boss." Tony swallowed.

"Don't be sorry and don't come in tomorrow." Tony's heart skipped a beat.

"Take a long weekend, get drunk, get laid, whatever you have to do to get your shit sorted out Tony. 'Cos I want you in on Monday." Gibbs said releasing him and walking to the door. He opened it and then turned back to the stunned agent.

"Oh and Tony if your even a minute late I'm finding you and cuffing you to my wrist." He said with a smile. Tony didn't think he was joking though.

"Is that suppose to be a deterrent boss." Tony sniped.

"Try it and see." Gibbs said as he stepped out the door.

Chapter Nine

_Happy Now?_

Oh, a sticky dessert… Why that as foolish as an intelligent women…

My Chauffer

"Oh ho. So feel better now?" Abbey asked Tony over the phone, using a ridiculous somewhat Chinese accent. Sunday Midafternoon sunlight streamed waningly through Tony's kitchen windows as he stood making himself a smoothie.

"A lot. There's still some things but... Yeah I feel better."

Tony took the weekend the way Gibbs had suggested, well ordered and whereas he didn't get drunk or get laid... He did work out a few of this issues.

Truth be told he was ready to go back to work on Sunday morning, funnily enough though he accidentally overslept on Monday and was late in.

Scarily Tony found Gibbs waiting for him when he arrived.

"Your five minutes late DiNozzo." It wasn't as though Gibbs was standing over his desk with cuffs in hand but rather he was sitting at his desk finishing up case files. That was scary enough though considering Gibbs never finished up files at that time of day, it just didn't happen.

"Sorry Boss alarm clock broke." Tony said sitting down.

"Your lucky we have actual cases today DiNozzo I might need the cuffs for someone else." Gibbs said as he walked passed DiNozzo and into the conference room.

"Cuffs?" Kate asked as she sat down. Cripes, he really was waiting for me!

"Cuffs? What Cuffs?" Kate asked irritatingly.

"Nothing. How's Dwayne?" Tony said, setting up for the day.

"Wouldn't know, turns out he's too much like you." Kate said authoritatively.

"Turns out he was too much like you." Tony whined quietly.

"What was that?" Kate snapped.

"I said so who's the new guy." Tony mumbled, looking over his paperwork.

"Why would there be a new guy." Kate asked.

"'Cos there usually is." Tony said.

"Ya know Tony not everyone's like you." Tony simply looked at her.

"His names Myer and he's Sweetish." Kate said with a giggle.

"Good for you Kate." Tony said, opening a file.

"Tony are you alright." Kate asked, unsure of this 'new' Tony.

"Right as rain, Kate." He said. She watched him long after they'd finished talking. Whoever this was he wasn't Tony, not exactly anyway.

It seemed to Kate to be a permeant change too judging by how he handled the next case. It was an arduous one. Involving the death of a guy on special ops, so they'd been working in a timeframe. The trooper in question had turned out to be gay and in the closet, his wife had found out and he committed suicide.

Tony managed to handle himself during the case, all and all he seemed better than he had since... Kate searched her memory and couldn't come up with a time for when Tony had stopped being himself. She'd just noticed the strain on him one day and it just didn't seem to leave.

He seemed fine now though, only now that he did, Gibbs really didn't.

_Chapter Ten_

D Day

Who would have thought all this bad shit could happen on such a beautiful day.

Blue Streak

The day was warm with a cool breeze permeating it. Huge globulus white clouds hid the sun for a majority of the morning and the air was dry rather than sticky.

It was fabulous weather and Kate groaned over having to be stuck inside with Gibbs. Especially considering the mood he was in.

She confronted Tony about it and he brushed it off the way they always did.

"Kate Gibbs is like a dog. He'll gnaw at an old bone until you throw him a steak. When he's done with the steak he'll go back to the old bone. The terrorist is Gibbs's old bone." Tony had said dismissively.

"Yeah well lets hope he doesn't choke on it." Kate had bitten.

"Who chokes on what?" Gibbs asked as he walked passed.

"Oh, nothing." Kate said.

"DiNozzo I wanna see you for a minute." He said and kept on walking, straight into the break room. Tony stared after him for a moment in shock then got up and followed.

"Boss?" He questioned as he entered the room. Gibbs stepped passed him, shut and locked the door.

"Okay boss ya startin' ta scare me." Tony said smiling nervously. His apprehension only increased when Gibbs handed him a coffee. Tony sipped it tentatively, Gibbs watching all the while. Tony was sure it was poisoned, he'd done something to the man and now Gibbs had decided to off him. But he wasn't game enough to not drink it. It was sweet and strong and when he didn't keel over Tony took that as a good sign.

"Little strong." He said trying to break up the silence.

"Strong is better." Gibbs said shortly then stopped staring and turned away from him going to lean against the counter.

"So what's up boss?" Tony asked sitting down across from him.

"I want you to profile a terrorist for me." He said.

"Oh, god Gibbs the way you were acting I though you were about to kill me for something. But yeah, sure, of course. Which one?" Tony rambled. Gibbs raised a brow and gave a lazy grin.

"The one you stabbed." Tony's mouth fell open.

"What'd wanna know?" Tony said shifting uncomfortably.

"Everything." Tony drew in a breath, not knowing what to say but too scared not to comply.

"Well there's the obvious he's intelligent, educated, organised and very controlled. He thinks all his moves right through from start to finish in a matter of seconds. Defiantly extensive military training, tactics, weapons..." Tony paused and stood, sipping his coffee. He decided just to let it all out, Gibbs had said he wanted everything.

"He's not impulsive though it may seem that way, everything is considered. He didn't seem like most terrorists."

"What's he in it for?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know he doesn't seem the martyr type and as for the whole forty virgins thing, well I don't think he'd have any trouble getting girls on his own. He's good-looking, charming, salon haircut, fresh manicure, expensive cologne..."

"You interested DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as he watched a frantically pacing Tony. The man was deep in thought, new territory for Tony and for a second Gibbs didn't think he'd heard him.

"Don't go there..." Tony said putting up a finger and then continuing.

"Everything about him breathed of an expensive lifestyle, he carried this air of arrogance and yet we've no idea who he is. He's intelligent and yet he breaks into our lab to retrieve a blood sample that probably wouldn't have be linked to anyone anyway." Tony ground.

"What makes you say he's tactically smart?" Gibbs asked.

"He was smart enough not to make idle threats and yet not stupid enough to kill a government agent. He was smart enough not to kill you. Wound an agent and every other department sends their condolences, kill one and you've got a truckload of pissed off cops on your hands." Tony said licking his lips.

"Everything about him is a contraction boss. I mean he obviously has a cause and yet he doesn't go around spouting sanctimonious bullshit like the others do. He's not a martyr and yet death isn't a problem for him. He doesn't find any pleasure in killing and yet its not a problem for him either..."

"Lot of insight." Gibbs said quietly. Tony stopped pacing and stared at him, heart beating a little faster than it usually did.

"Sorry guess I've been thinking about this a lot." Tony mumbled looking down at his now empty cup.

"I'll give you the rest but the last part seems like your reaching a little. Anything to actually base that on." Gibbs said. Tony shrugged.

"He shot Gerald without a second thought. It's not exactly killing but it follows along the same lines and he, in order to escape he had to face you. He was wearing a vest but you could easily have shot him in the head," Another shrug.

"It was an acceptable risk." Gibbs shook his head.

"He could have killed me, they would have dropped gas bombs and he could have escaped that way."

"Killing a cop's sticky." Tony offered.

"No it's more than that." Gibbs said.

"What then?" Tony asked.

"Maybe the only way for him to feel alive is to face death." Gibbs mumbled.

"Adrenaline junkie." Tony said, Gibbs looked at him.

"Come on." Tony said grabbing his jacket as he bolted out of the break room and passed his desk. Kate was still seated at hers.

"Were are we going?" She asked.

"I'm taking Ducky to lunch, your welcome to tag along." He said.

"Alright, can't pass it up if your paying." She said.

"What's wrong." She asked went he didn't respond.

"Gibbs just brought me coffee." He said with an air of tension and she got the distinct impression that it was more than just that.

"Yes I distinctly remember Gibbs being like this during, his last divorce." Ducky said.

"We can't divorce him Ducky." Kate laughed.

"Well you wouldn't want to my dear." He said.

"What happened." Kate asked.

"Gibbs was tracking a man who'd raped and murdered a ten year old girl. Angelic little thing she was. He eventually caught him but not before he'd done it again." Ducky said sagely.

"See now that's just... there isn't words." Kate said pushing her salad aside.

"Yes well Gibbs became a little hard to live with after that." Ducky said sipping his drink.

"Hi Katie." A man said stepping up beside Ducky. He turned to look up at him.

"Oh, hi! Everyone this is Myer." Kate said blushing.

"Well I'm too late to have lunch with you but how about coffee." He said.

"Well actually we're still..."

"No Kate go." Tony said.

"Are you sure you don't mind." She said.

"Have fun my dear." Ducky murmured.

"I'm late anyway, so go have fun and I'll keep Gibbs busy. Ducky prefers his own company anyway." Tony said throwing down a few bills.

"What do you need to do?" Kate asked.

"I've gotta conference with Gitmo." He said standing.

"Oh well bye." She said.

"See ya Ducky." Tony said as he walked away. The man waved having a mouthful of food.

Tony headed down the street, traffic loud around him. He stopped at a crossing and was rewarded with having to watch an idiot show off to the girls across from him. Only the girls were gushing and blushing and the guy was watching him. Tony shifted uncomfortably. Then the guy lifted his visor and everything made sense, his brain also shut down for about five seconds before he palmed his gun and ran into on coming traffic.

Chapter Eleven

_Do It On Someone Else's Time!_

Abstainer n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

"McGee..." Gibbs snapped stalking across the room.

"Boss." McGee said standing up.

"Sit down."

"Sorry..." He said dropping back down.

"Is the program fished yet."

"No boss sorry." Gibbs pulled away from the desk with a growl.

"Where are Kate and DiNozzo?" Gibbs hissed.

"I t-t-think they may have went to lunch with Ducky." He stuttered.

"You think or you don't know."

"I'm not sure. Sorry boss."

"How long ago and stop apologising it's a sign of weakness."

"Sorry I mean about an hour... or so ago." Gibbs had started to walk away, but stopped at 'or so' and started back.

"I want 'or so' in minutes."

"Umm about fifty." Gibbs stormed down to autopsy.

"Ducky where the hell are Kate and DiNozzo." Gibbs growled.

"Last time I saw them both Kate was off with her boyfriend and Tony was off to a conference with Gitmo." Gibbs hissed and stormed out.

The conference room was empty of only Tony it seemed, most of the rest of the building was crowded in there for some reason or another. Though Tony hadn't showed for the meeting at all and this only served to irritate Gibbs further. As did his conversation with Hamous. He bumped into Kate on his way out and she was unfortunate party who copped it.

"What the hell do you think your doing." He snarled.

"Gibbs I'm a little late..." She defended.

"Ten minutes is a little late an hour is ridiculous. I expect this shit from Tony not you. You wanna make out with your new boyfriend Kate do it on your own time and until I fire you which may be anytime now... you're on my time, so you can cancel any future dates that you may have." He shouted.

"Gibbs you really need to take a reality check and read Moby Dick. The obsession you have with this Hamous guy is..." Kate bit back.

"The Hamous guy, the bastard, the arse. We call him everything but his name Kate because we don't know it. I want his name and I want it today and unless you wanna turn in your badge you don't leave again until I get it... and I've read Moby Dick." Gibbs growled and stalked off.

"MCGEE." He almost jumped from his seat.

"When Tony gets in put him under house arrest."

"Maybe he just got held up." McGee offered and then withered under the others glare.

"McGee Tony is knee-deep up shit creek and guess what?" He snarled.

"W-What."

"He doesn't have a damn paddle. So being held up... is the least of his problems."

Chapter Twelve

_Knee Deep_

Life don't have to be… No bed of roses…

Tony sat stiffly in he front seat of a tiny navy car. His hands were cuffed behind his back and every time the car jostled it felt as though they were about to be ripped out.

His phone started ringing steadily and was snatched up by one of the guys in back.

"Who's Gibbs?" He asked, Tony gritted his teeth and refused to answer. the guy driving backhanded him, splitting his lip.

"Who is it?"

"It's my boyfriend he calls me whenever he leaves the office." Tony said and got another slap. He was curious as to whether the slap was because they didn't believe him or they did.

Soon after they pulled into a barn, nothing but empty countryside greeting them. That and the one face Tony never wanted to see again.

"Agent DiNozzo so nice to see you again." His face darkened at Tony's lip. He shouted at one of the men across the room and then looked back to Tony.

"I apologise for Kasam striking you." he said as he pulled Tony from the car.

"Well at least he didn't shot my shoulder out with a nine millimetre." Tony bit.

"And how is Gerald?" He questioned.

"Still in rehab. Asks everyday if you're dead yet." Tony spat. The cuffs were removed and Tony turned punching the little bastard who'd slapped him twice. He wasn't happy about it. He picked himself up of the floor and the bigger bastard stepped between them. Putting a hand in the middle of his chest, the bane of Tony existence pushed Kasam back a couple of steps and shouted at him until he left in frustration.

"Satisfied?" He questioned turning back to Tony.

"No... He smacked me twice." Tony spat.

"Well to Kasam being hit by an undisciplined American brat is twice the insult." He laughed.

"How does he feel about being shot by one." That drew a smile.

"Still so fiery." He drawled, placing a finger beneath Tony's chin, he slapped it away.

"Why did Kasam strike him?"

"He wouldn't tell who was calling him." One of the guys said tossing across Tony's phone.

"Argh Gibbs called you."

"I should probably call him back." Tony said.

"Your right, of course... But after we get some ice for your lip." He said smiling as he led Tony from the barn and into the house. Tony couldn't help but glance at the lethal looking missiles as they left, there were about half dozen and the very sight of them made his skin crawl.

His lip was tended to quickly by the arse, in a touch so gentle that it only served to put Tony more on edge. No one who could shoot someone in cold blood should have a touch like that.

"You said I could call Gibbs." Tony said pressing ice to his stinging lip.

"Of course under one condition." He said smoothly.

"Naturally," Tony laughed sarcastically.

"And what am I to tell him." He watched Tony closely for several minutes.

"You became quite ill after lunch. You went to emergency where it was diagnosed as food poisoning. They pumped your stomach, gave you an IV and sent you home. You'll be fine tomorrow you just need sleep." He said calmly.

"And if I don't say that?" He said. The bastard stared at him for a moment.

"Myer tell agent DiNozzo what you will do to agent Todd tonight after dinner." He said looking past Tony, he shifted to watch the creep also.

"I will put a bullet in the back of her head as I run my fingers through her hair." I knew there was a reason for my skin creeping around him. Tony thought as he picked up the phone.

McGee's hands shook on the key broad slightly as he entered in the new info that Gibbs had just gotten off of Ducky. Being within three square feet of Gibbs these days made McGee jittery. Today especially, he just seemed to radiate anger and pent up frustration. Kate didn't seem any better after their fight either. Thankfully Gibbs seemed to grow bored with looking over his shoulder and was now standing several feet behind him. A small respite, but a respite none the less.

Gibbs's cell phone trilled in the background and McGee's hands jumped slightly on the key broad at the sharp sound his nerves frayed. Gibbs mumbled a few quick words, clicked his phone closed and was back to breathing down McGee's neck in record time.

"What was that about." McGee stuttered, trying to take Gibbs's focus off himself.

"Tony ate some bad oysters." Gibbs growled stalking off. McGee breathed a sigh of relief.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Dears I always promissed I'd get back to this, well thanks to all the nice reveiws I really was inspired. Sorry about the long time that its taken I was really down after watching how the later episode featuring Ari. I know a lot of people hated him from the get go but I found him really interesting and what the end result! They turn him into a whiny cry baby with daddy issues... sigh... just like Lyle... Oh well I'm over it and don't worry there is actually anoter chapter of this halfway done... I just really wanted to get something posted. Thanks for the encouragement. Hope I don't disappoint. Cheers.**

**Chapter Thirteen**

Such A Beautiful Day 

_It seems to me that the real clue to your sex-orientation lies in your romantic feelings rather than in your sexual feelings. If you are really **gay**, you are able to fall in love with a **man**, not just enjoy having sex with him._

_Christopher Isherwood  
_

The sun was soft and distant overhead… A gentle breeze cooling what little heat the day held… All of which meant shit to Tony, who had to endure sitting placidly across from the bastard who'd kidnapped him. The bastard who sat and leisurely sipped wine, when he really should be laying cold in a morgue for what he'd done to Gerald. What Tony had let him do…

"You should really have some wine agent DiNozzo. It's almost perfectly chilled." He drawled.

"Why did you drag me out here?" Tony demanded, brushing aside the offer.

"I enjoy your… company…" The smirk was faultless.

"Have some wine." He teased.

"Make him drink it." Tony bit, gesturing to Myer who was lounged at the end of the table and just generally pissing him off.

"No thanks."

"That's right, you aren't allowed to drink…" Tony almost accused.

"Well… Muslims… Don't indulge at home…" That same teasing careless tone.

"Besides this country… so riddled with temptation… How could I say no…" He pouted, hand reaching out and glancing across Tony's cheek.

"I think your overstepping…" Tony snapped, flinching and slapping away the soft digits. The smirk widened as the other fell back into his seat.

"And here I was thinking I was doing so well."

"At what? Pissing me off!" Tony bit.

"An-tiony, I am being a charming host… Do try to be a polite guest or that may have to change." He warned.

"Charming…" Tony snorted indignantly.

"Yes… Many people find me so. Women particularly."

"You can not possibly pay them enough for it!" Tony gritted. That bit of asperity earned him a low chuckle, Myer rolling his eyes lazily.

"You are such a curious little creature." He smirked.

"Have you got it yet?" It was as unwelcome as the sound of a dentist's drill, the radio shut off with a dismissive click. The bastard taking up a layed-out kitchen knife, slicing into a near-by mango.

"Have you got what?" Tony frowned…

"You must be hungry." He idled, drawing an exasperated sigh from the end of the table. Apparently Myer was tiring of these games too.

"What do you want?" Tony puffed as he watched orange skin be peeled back from spindly flesh.

"Indulge me…" Tony bit back an 'I'd rather shoot you…' and settled for glaring.

"Have something to eat… and I'll answer your question." He smiled and again Tony bit back an insult, at the same time realising how stupid he was being… from an agent, information stand point. The guy was hitting on him, why he didn't know, but if it were Kate in his position she'd try to exploit that in anyway possible.

Of course in that equation there were two very prominent problems, one; he wasn't Kate and two Tony didn't think he could flirt with a guy… Homophobia had taken a backseat on this one too… Tony just really genuinely had no idea how to go about such a thing.

Somehow he doubted leaning across the table while cupping warm hands and looking deep into dark eyes, then saying something like… 'You and me babe how 'bout it', would get him anything but shot! Then again that would get him shot with Kate also along with the rest of the female population… maybe it would work on a guy.

It was at this point that Tony's mind started to race on the possible sexual implications of this, well actually the blatant invitation was more what he was worried about. Tony would flirt all afternoon if he could just work out how, that he was willing to do for his country, actual sex however… well he was drawing a line in the sand way before that!

Bright orange flesh was cut away from a round body, leaving juice to trickle like blood. The moist lump held out to Tony, he fought the urge to take it with his hand. Lilith dancing at the back of his head, of the dozens of girls he'd ever taken out to dinner Tony had no clue as to why Lilith came up at a time like this. But she did, along with the tremble she'd brought to his stomach just by dropping her eyelids and licking her lips… Tony somehow doubted he'd ever manage a similar thing… He took a breath, swallowed what Kate would call stupid male pride and leaned forward. The fruit was bitter and acidic against his tongue, Tony's hands clutching at the table. Copying what Lilith had done to him, Tony's tongue darted forward, flicking quietly across outstretched fingers. Just the barest of brushes, before he dropped quickly back into his seat, trying to keep heat from rising to his cheeks.

He swallowed barely stopping to chew, eyes locked firmly on the table… relieving with a widening streak of dread that eventually he'd have to look back up and face what he'd just done.

A smirk greeted him… that and eyes that… were a shade darker.

"Now was that so bad?" Heat blossomed in Tony's stomach at the inferring tone. Tony dropped his eyes, tongue creeping out to track across his lips.

"No…" He swallowed, trying for a slightly guilty look… given the circumstances it wasn't a stretch.

"So what do you want?" Tony mumbled. A cell was pushed across the table.

"I would love for you to make a call."

"To the police, of course, what's the address here?" Tony bit before he could stop himself. His tone was lower though with less of a defensive edge and it drew a wider smirk from the other.

"An-tiony I think I have all the officers I could ever need right now. No I was thinking more along the lines of our dearest Caitlin Todd… and unfortunately it will not be to give her our address." He said swallowing down more wine.

"You do have good taste." Tony teased.

"Unfortunately I don't think you're her type… sorry." Tony gave up on fighting the blush, which was currently riding high on his cheeks, despite the fact that the hair on his neck was standing on end. Why would he need him to call Kate.

"An-tiony I swear I have absolutely no sexual interest in Caitlin Todd… I prefer…" He paused licking thin lips.

"A more exotic type of company, at least in reference to your little group." This drew an exaggerated sigh from the end of the table.

"So why the call?" Tony swallowed painfully, as he reached for the phone and noticed the others eyes trace up and down his arm. Tony knew the look because it was one he worn quite often. He suddenly felt sorry for every girl he'd ever perused that way. It wasn't so much the heated stare trickling across his skin that bothered him, but rather the intent behind it. The fact that he had no clue as to what the other wanted. Also the realisation that slowly crushed in on him, that the guy sitting across from him could take whatever he wanted, without Tony being able to do much to stop it. Suddenly flirting seemed like an insane, stupid idea…

"The president is flying out to camp David today…"

"Oh, Kate has been boring me to death with that all week don't you st-…" Pieces suddenly click together like a jigsaw puzzle.

"Kate… is ex-secret service… and you want…" Tony swallowed remembering the hardware from the barn.

"No… shoot me because I'm not helping you." Tony snapped shoving the cell across the table.

"An-tiony you are going call Caitlin… Because there is exactly 42 minutes until the president is scheduled to depart. Which means I have 42 minutes to change your mind." He explained affluently. The phone was pushed back to him.

"But it really would be in your best interest to avoid that…Call Agent Todd…"

"Why?" Tony snapped. The bastard rose and stepped around the table to stand at his side, leaning down into him slightly.

"Because if you refuse again, I will stand you up, take you into the house, strip you bare… and then, I will show you, every vile, disgusting, degrading ways there is to rape your body."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey chooks, sorry channeling my mum. Anyway thanyou guys you's are all great. You are fanastic. It's so cool how many people review this. Especially one very angry one telling me not to update 10 months apart... This is again a small chapter but at the risk of being lynched I wanted to get it pot. Cheers enjoy. Oh and also I although I do have a lot of this worked out... I am stuck at a bit of a crossroads on how exactly to finish this... several ideas are warring for the place... I would love to hear what everyone thinks... Please... Also due to recent plot choice this will go on for quite a while... originally there was only going to be another two chapters at most... though they would have been longer...**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Life Is Pain

_One often hears, for example, that ''one man's **terrorist** is another man's freedom fighter_

Ice rolled into his veins and Tony looked away from the deadpan gaze. He would really have preferred the bullet but then maybe that was the point. Tony looked down at the phone… spun it idly with his finger. A phone call for his body… only it's wasn't just a phone call, he wouldn't bring Kate into this, wouldn't make it her problem as well. Tony's hand dropped back to his side, hand clenching on the park bench, blinking away stray tears. It wasn't a huge deal, it just wasn't, it was the job, his job…

"Stand up Agent DiNozzo." He ordered.

"Why should I make it easy for you?" Tony snapped, digging his heels in, in any way possible.

"Because I find the thought of dragging you quite tedious… so if you won't stand up and walk, I will bend you over the table right here… With an audience… and it certainly won't matter to me." The voice was smooth as silk, all very reasonable, like they were discussing… the fucking weather. Yet it didn't matter about the tone, Tony looked down towards the end of the table, Myer was flicking casually through some sort of book, looking very disinterested. The tone didn't matter because he was right, having someone watch while his body was used like a piece of trash was not something he wanted. Especially not that creep.

Tony stood and even as he did he couldn't believe he was actually doing it, what he was walking to. For about five seconds he thought his legs wouldn't hold him up… toes feeling a little numb. He steadied after a moment, finding it easier to deal if he didn't actually give too much thought to what was going to happen.

Silver bracelets were clipped to each of his wrists and ironically Tony had the deep suspicion that they were his. The hand on his shoulder turned his stomach as the other pushed him ahead, towards the house.

"Do remember An-tiony, you can stop this anytime you want…" A lump of ice settled in his stomach, settled into his whole body, dulling out everything but anger… The cool outrage that someone thought they could use him like this and talk to him like it was his fault.

"And so can you." Tony gritted. He stopped abruptly before the door, jerking Tony to a stop and turning him around.

"Unfortunately I do not have that luxury." He explained and then led Tony inside. The spiel might have actually sounded convincing if it weren't for the slight hardness that had pressed Tony's thigh.

"I'm sure you'll be suffering through the next half-hour." Tony snorted and was jerked to a stop again. The lapels of his shirt grabbed while he was pushed back, table edge brushing his thighs.

"An-tiony, so that you're not crushed later by a misapprehension I'll explain this now… In half an hour you'll have single-handily ruined what I have spent weeks planning… After which you are completely useless to me… completely expendable…" Fingers reached up to thread through Tony's hair.

"And I will be far less inclined to be gen-" Tony spat in his face, watching the flinch with almost childish satisfaction. He was shoved down onto the table, hands tucked uncomfortably under his back.

"Now that's just disgusting…" He frowned whipping away the fluids, with a quick swipe of his hand.

"Well then it should suit you!" Tony snarled.

"How sweet… but you should worry about yourself! Consider how smart it is to upset people who can hurt you." He threaten, hand groping Tony's knees, pulling his legs apart so he could slip between.

"Or is that the appeal for you… Perhaps you like the idea of being helpless beneath me." The voice chiding, teasing and it turned Tony's stomach, a mouth dipped low to his ear and Tony was racked with the suddenly urge to bite...

"Really all you had to do was ask… Though in that case, I should choose a different type of torture I think." The bastard would probably consider it foreplay though. He moved away and the compulsion went with him. He leaned back a little and it was Tony's turn to smirk.

"Don't flatter yourself!" Tony jerked a foot up and lashed out planting a kick in the middle of his chest, sending the other stumbling back, steading when he hit the wall.

Tony lurched off the table, tripped at little and was shoved straight back down. It was like the whole thing never happened. Tony once more with the other pressed between his legs. Only his time there was a hand tangled in his hair, another pressing his chest. His arms were aching with the jolt off hitting the tabletop. He pushed up against the other, struggling with the hands holding him, the one resting across his body moved to backhand him. Lip trickling a thin line of blood as it split.

"Might as well toss gentle out the fucking door now… 'cos I'm not fucking telling you anything!" Tony promised, stilling, panting slightly.

"Really… Anything else should know…" The smirk was still so firmly in place, Tony intended to wipe it off.

"Yeah, enjoy it because you are gonna leave your share of blood on this fucking floor!" Tony snarled.

"Anything less… and I'd be disappointed…"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello to all... my my what lovely day. I love al of you's guys. Everyone who has reviewed thankyou very much you guys are so great. Fantastic even. I would like to point out at this juncture that I am neglecting my House fic for this... Also I would like to dedicate this next chapter to LLB and MC ya'll definately know who you are. Sorry if this piss anyone off, but these two both answered my question on how they'd like things finished... so... speaking of which, as LLB pointed out when I asked the question I didn't really give you's guys a lot of options mainly because I don't want to take edge off of anything... As I said before though this has a while longer to go now... I'm also still going bakc and forth on the ending... So even if ya'll would just like to case a vote on whether or not you want Ari still to die in a blodbath and such... well it would be greatly appreciated. Cheers... anyway on with it.  
**

**Chapter Fifteen**

_Unsettling Truths_

Gibbs paced and sipped coffee… he sat at his desk and tapped mindlessly… He even eventually sat in a darkened interrogation room, gnawing on his already bitten-down nails. He felt strangely pent-up, the air itself seeming to itch along his already frayed nerves.

Gibbs pulled himself together and pulled himself up… he went back to the floor. Went back to his desk, went back to have Kate glare heatedly at him… Mostly he fought the urge to snap at her… mainly because he'd done it already and Kate herself was spoiling for a fight. Her jaw was ridged; her fingers snapping away t the keyboard… her eyes were on him.

"McGee what the hell are you doing…" Gibbs snapped as the other whistled annoyingly.

"Oh, well you see what it is, is that Ducky…" He stuttered.

"Five words or less McGee." Gibbs growled.

"Ducky called and said he thought the terrorist may have attended medical school, so I've refined the search and now it should take less time to cross-reference and search and…" McGee was rambling and he knew it… But damn was Gibbs scary at the moment.

"How long?" Gibbs barked.

"Boss?"

"How long will the search take now?"

"Well it's still pretty broad so… n-not really sure boss…" He shifted as the other glared.

"I'm going to get a coffee…" Gibbs mumbled and picked himself up.

"I've always said it… that man certainly needs more caffeine!" Kate's voice followed him into the elevator; his hand shot out and caught the door. Shoving it back open, because he was spoiling for a fight also.

"Do you have something to say to me agent Todd!" Gibbs snapped, striding back over to her desk.

"Well yes if you must know…" She bit back sweetly.

"You know Gibbs just because you've hit your mid-life-crisis really late, doesn't mean that…"

"Oh I'm sorry agent Todd, I didn't realise asking you to do your job was an unfair request." Gibbs shouted, anger pressing down the rational urge to pull rank.

"I do my job… Unfortunately stumbling around in the dark, because you've got a hard-on for shady terrorist isn't part of it." Kate bit back.

"Your job description is what I say it is... So unless you wanna start scrubbing down every bathroom in this building…" McGee, like most of floor was staring, until the computer trilled expectantly.

"Ah boss…" He said tentatively.

"What? I should get into line… sorry I'll take the mop and bucket thanks…" Kate snarled.

"Boss…" It was maybe a decibel louder than the first time.

"Women, you're all just…"

"Boss…"

"Oh you misogynistic prick, don't you dare…"

"Boss!" He finally managed a shout, even stood up and waved his arms.

"What!" Gibbs's eyes were wide and livid, McGee fell back into his seat and swallowed, tempted just to mumble a nothing, only that really would have gotten body parts removed.

"I've umm… found… umm… it's him, it's…" Gibbs was at his side so fast that McGee jumped, Kate crowding in behind him… fight left behind at her desk.

"Ari Haswari…" Gibbs said matter-of-factly.

"This is just his class record boss… I'll pull up more recent stuff." McGee stumbled, clicking away at the keyboard.

"I'll call Johns Hopkins." Kate mumbled.

"And Tony… where is he?" Kate questioned, pulling out her cell. She hadn't seen him come back, had just assumed that Gibbs sent him off elsewhere in petulance.

"Never mind he's out with food poisoning." Gibbs was staring fixedly at the picture on screen, his nightmare for the last... how many months? Kate clipped the phone closed and took a minute too laugh, tension seeming to seep from the room.

"What?" Gibbs asked rather mellowly.

"I told Tony there was something wrong with that burger… Thing was hinky through and through." Kate smiled.

"Oysters…" Gibbs frowned, something unsettling uncurling in his stomach… the nagging feeling that had been hanging about all day unfurling into something nasty and not quite definable yet.

"Tony had oysters for lunch…" Kate raised a brow.

"No… in true Tony form he had a greasy burger and even greasier fries… spent the entire meal stealing stuff off my plate…" Gibbs fished the phone out of his pocket and flipped in open. He punched in the familiar number and pressed the piece of plastic to his ear.

"The mobile phone you are trying to reach is currently switched off… pleas-" Gibbs pulled it shut and dropped it back into his pocket. Tony's phone was never off, the kid kept three bloody batteries for the thing. He'd ended up in hospital and on an IV last year with a particularly nasty flu and was sill taking calls from potential dates.

Gibbs's eyes flicked to the screen and the unsettling something started to writhe…

"He's got Tony…" The bastard has Tony… Has been doing god knows what to him all afternoon, while Gibbs was sitting about blithely arguing with Kate.

-.-.-

"You really are quite remarkable An-tiony." He smirked.

"And what? You wish we could have done this under better circumstances." Tony spat.

"Not quite. Though for what its worth I wish I could have known you differently." The hand eased from his chest and slid beneath his back, the other still firmly in his hair.

Tony felt something metal tickle across the back if his hand, frowning as he heard a scrape and click… the bracelet going slack on his wrist. The other followed and Tony, didn't stop to question. He wrenched stiff limbs from under his back and clawed at the others chest. His wrists were taken quickly and god the bastard was strong.

"Agent DiNozzo stop fighting me!" It was so off, so annoyed, so much like Gibbs that Tony's arms actually went slack and hit the table once more, one on either side of his head.

"I said I wouldn't make it easy for you!" Tony snapped, something about this just not meshing.

"Nor would I expect you to. But since I am not actually looking to use you in any wrong way, I'll ask that you please stopping hitting me." Tony stared, just stared in disbelief… This guy was a suffering from… something… MPD maybe…

"Now in a moment I'm going to let go of your wrists… You want to hurt me and that I can understand, but leave it till later…" He sighed.

"What?" True to his word, he let go of Tony and took several steps back, putting himself out of reach. Tony sat up slowly, pulling himself to the end of the table, catching the phone that the other tossed his way.

"Call Caitlin…"

"I'm not…"

"Call Caitlin and tell her about me… About the cell… about the president, about everything…" Tony just stared, it was like walking in on a movie halfway through… He had no clue what was going on.

"An-tiony… the group I am working with may not know which helicopter to bring down, but they are going after one… I don't know what your views are but I don't like the odds myself. Call Caitlin… I have something to take care of in the yard." It was the urgency that shoved Tony out of the stupor, the crisp clicking as 9mm was loaded. His finger flicked over the buttons, punching in Kate's number.

"Why would you…"

"I may behave like a terrorist but I work for Mossad…"

**A/N: Okay guys just a quick bit... sorry I know a lot of you were expecting a rape with soemTony/Gibbs afterwards... which may still happen at a later date, but not right now... even when there was only two chapters left that was never my plan so sorry... Like I said my curse is that I unlike so many others actually liked Ari quite a bit... Till next time.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys well this just kind of hit me upside the head, nothing really spectacular, just some Tony/Abbey fluff really just a segaway to the Gibbs/Ari confrontation that will be up tomorrow. Cheers.**

**Chapter Sixteen**

_It's All Over Now_

Tony sat in Abbey's darkened lab, soaking in the comfort and quiet. So quiet and peaceful. A headache had blossom at the base of his skull some hours ago and was slowly spreading up and out. Considering though that only a few hours earlier he'd been looking a particularly brutal rape and a painful death he didn't suppose he could complain really. His hands were still shaking though, and he wasn't sure it was adrenalin or shock or delayed reaction or what… but he couldn't seem to stop it.

Kate and McGee for the most part had minded their own business, shooting hot looks at the non-terrorist who they couldn't touch when they'd picked him up. Gibbs though had practically mauled him. Had looked over his lip, along with every other visible scrape and bruise. He had the sneaking disjoined feeling (for some indefinable reason) that the other would have stripped him down naked to look him over if they hadn't been trapped in a SUV with Kate and McGee in the front. Strangely though Gibbs had said very little, debriefing him quickly and informally… in the back of car.

Currently everyone was fuming and raging upstairs, Gibbs warned off of pursuing the non-terrorist any further. There was no need to warn him off a second time though… Gibbs had the message… If he had any intention of killing the other he would have already done it. Would have put a bullet in his head when he'd draped an arm so casually across Tony's shoulders…

The light flickered on and Tony blinked, not surprised because he'd heard Abbey's footsteps out in the hall.

"Tony!" He met her gaze levelly.

"I'll go get some coffee…"

-.-.-

Abbey, beautiful spectacularly wonderful Abbey, she didn't ask a thing… even her eyes were cool and neutral. She brought him coffee and food… pizza and burgers and chips and doughnuts…

"Couldn't decide on what was appropriate after-kidnapped food…" She said sheepishly and that was the only reference she made to it. The shock was starting to recede though, Tony realising how lucky he was. He been held by an Iraqi terrorist group and had come out with nothing more serious than a rather painfully throbbing lip.

"I was stupid enough to jump into a random car." Tony observed, not particularly bitter… just thoughtful. Abbey didn't even stop to look at him, fiddling about with samples… God he loved her.

"We drove out to the middle of no where… and I told them Gibbs was my boyfriend." Tony chuckled, because after-the-fact it all seemed so funny. The Bloodhound Gang's 'The Bad Touch' was playing on a loop in the back gorund and it seem to underscore his words, seemed to turn what should have been horrific into something rather comical.

"I smacked the little bustard who split my lip and Ari he-" Ari… Ari Haswari and it was so strange to feel the name in his mouth, to feel his tongue curl out the words.

"He stopped him from hitting me…" Tony flipped open the pizza box and took a slice.

"Then he threatened to rape me…" Abbey's hands jerk slightly, but that's all, she keeps her eyes down, fitted to what she's doing. That was why he could tell her, why the words flowed out so easily now when jus a few hours ago they had stuck in his throat like glass. When he'd tried and failed to tell Gibbs.

"He could have too… Had me down on a table… could've done anything he wanted… but he didn't… Why is that… why does Gerald get a fucked shoulder and I get… a fucking split lip." Though was a note of wallowing regret in his voice and Abbey can understand that… Because Tony will probably always feel responsible for the damaged assistant. Tony wants to be punished, wants some kind of physical pain to relieve the guilt. It brings tears to her eyes the thought of anyone actually using the other like that.

"How much did you tell Gibbs… of what happened?" She finally asked.

"Bout ten per cent." Tony sighs.

"Are you ever going to-"

"He doesn't need to know…" Tony says solemnly, because it's true, Ari is no longer a threat and his business is his business. Besides true to his word the other hadn't actually touched him in any wrong fashion. Tony had only two things left from their encounter… a bloody lip and deep purple bruises darkening his wrists.

Abbey would have questioned, argued with him on it, if she actually thought she had a hope in hell of budging him… unfortunately Tony was stubborn like Gibbs. She stepped around the counter and towards Tony, doing the only thing she could think of to help. She hugged him… wrapping her arms around his shoulders carefully, moving to pat gently at his back when his arms came to rest on her waist.

"What are we going to do with you?" Abbey sighed.

"Beat me with a stick…" Abbey smiled as she realised that unlike last time Tony was already casting this off. Baggage left by the wayside.

"Anthony DiNozzo you loveable idiot." She smirked and it was so strange to here his first name pronoun with a H rather than an I… The first and second syllable sounding too close together. He pulled back and smiled anyway.

"Get some sleep…" Abbey frowned stepping back around the counter. Tony left with the rest of the pizza…


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Since I haven't said it in a while... Their still not mine. I own no rights etc... with is probably good for the metal health of the characters.**

**Once again thanks MC, who was kind enough to review my prattlings. This is also for you, you inspire me with your request for some Tony/Gibbs, it was way overdue... Hope this make the cut. Cheers. Oh and sorry guys Ari/Gibbs confrontation next chapter I swear andyes he will still be getting a bullet...  
**

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Love Me Tender_

Gibbs's palms tingled, oddly enough, as he trudged resentfully through paperwork. Sheet after useless sheet, ironically there were less forms to be filled with a dead suspect. As frustrating as it was though, once finished Gibbs found he had nothing to do for the night. Only days ago he would have been searching resolutely for a certain terrorist, only, that wasn't an option anymore.

Gibbs cleaned up and headed home… only when he would have been half-way there he realised that he was going in entirely the wrong direction. At least for his home… DiNozzo's was practically around the corner. Gibb's would question why's driving unconsciously there, but he already knew the answer, bright and clear as crystal. The younger agent, his second in charge was hiding something, something painful. Something he had balked at saying and considering all the things that could have transpired Gibbs couldn't blame him. Would have kept tight-lipped himself in front of Kate and McGee, especially in front of Kate.

He pulled up outside, was out of the car and up the stairs before he even considered that it was after 3 am… None of the lights were on. Gibbs knocked anyway. If Tony was asleep then he wouldn't hear it. Gibbs wasn't surprised when the door opened a moment later.

"Boss… what… come in…" Tony stepped back out of the way. Gibbs considered briefly giving an excuse as to why he was there, but settled instead for stepping in pushing the door closed and following Tony to the kitchen.

None of the apartment's lights were on and yet it looked as though Tony hadn't even contemplated bed. Oddly enough though the lights from outside lit up the rooms rather nicely on there own.

"I was considering sleep before you turned up… so how about a beer instead…" Tony laughed not waiting for an answer. He pulled open a stainless-steel door and removed two amber bottles. The door release to drift close by itself.

"Unless of course you wanna sleep with me… then…" The eyes were bright and the tone chipper. Tony stopping mid-sentence to frown.

"Wait that doesn't sound on the level…" He smiled, so totally Tony. There was a part of Gibbs that wanted to give in and play along… Not venture anywhere that Tony obviously didn't want him.

"Tony did he rape you?" Pussyfoot around with Tony and he'd follow suit, there was something about directness tht always shocked the other into telling the truth.

True to form Tony looked at him and Gibbs saw the panicked look, the guilty I've been caught-out look. It made his chest ache, and not because Tony had lied to him. Tony's mouth opened and his eyes flicked away.

"DiNozzo did he force you to have sex with him?" There was a more demanding edge to his voice now and Tony sighed as he realized that there was going to be no wriggling out of this conversation.

He slid down the fridge onto the floor, legs tucking under him.

"He threatened too." Tony admitted, setting aside the bottles. Gibbs's hands clenched at the painful look on Tony's face. At the same time some small tightness left his stomach. Tony had been terrorised… but not actually hurt… a small consolation really.

"Jesus DiNozzo, you didn't tell me this because?" Gibbs sighed, dropping down next to him. The other shrugged miserably.

"Why do I do anything that I do…" He breathed and Gibbs could no longer tell what he was really thinking because they were in shadow… not in front of the window like five minutes ago.

"Tell me what happened Tony…" Gibbs said firmly.

"Why would you ever not tell me any of that." Gibbs asked after Tony had spilled his guts. Tony shrugged again, he'd just finished confessing to things he hadn't even realised he'd known until they were out of this mouth.

His legs were numb, cold seeping into his body from the cool kitchen tile and the fridge that his was currently leaning against. Face lulling against the cold metal as he watched Gibbs do the same, one leg stretched out to brush Tony's knee.

"I just… I was stupid Boss… I jumped into some random car and… and I got what I deserved for it." He mumbled.

"You think you deserved any of this?" Gibb's mostly manages to keep out the angry lilt, but Tony seems too tired to care anyway.

"Please Boss if he hadn't been an undercover Mossad agent he would've… and I would have had it coming for being so fucking clueless." Tony spluttered.

"Tony you didn't deserve any of what he could have done or did!" Gibb bit, wanting slap the other and yet not wanting to move either.

"I so fucking stupid, that I flirted with him… I actually thought that it would be a good idea to whore myself out to…"

"You did what you thought you had to." Tony closed his eyes as Gibbs's hand cupped his cheek.

"But not what you would do."

"No, you were stronger. That bastard threatened to rape you and you told him to go fuck himself." Tony was staring now, questioning and Gibbs realised that he wasn't going to get away with leaving it at that.

"I was undercover in Prague once, playing a bad guy hanging out with worse people…" It's easier to say then Gibb's ever thought it would be.

"I stepped on toes that… I shouldn't have. Next thing I know I'm standing in front of Eric Cruz… arms dealer and general sadistic prick and he's ordering me… to get down on my knees…" Once the shock abates Tony realises that with that one last sentence everything he thinks about his boss has just shifted drastically.

"If I'd said no three months of undercover work would have been pissed away… not to mention my brains would have taken up residence on the floor." Gibbs pauses and can't believe he's told Tony. What none of his wives or girlfriends could ever manage to drag out of him Tony has without even asking.

"Since I'm sitting here you can guess what happened. What I did."

"I'm sorry Boss." Gibbs shakes his head.

"It was a long time ago." Then there's nothing left to say so they sit there in the dark, breathing slowly. Gibbs's thumb stroking slow circles over the flesh below Tony's ear.

Gibbs to Tony had always seemed so untouchable, unbreakable… right now he seems unthinkably human. Tony wants to offer comfort, the way Abbey had him, though he'd probably get punched if he tried the same thing.

Gibbs breaths out shakily as Tony leans forward to press his forehead to his own. His hand is on Gibbs's knee to steady himself. Their breath is mingling quietly in the dark.

Tony pulls back slightly to look at the other and this time its Gibbs who leans up into him and Tony moves back just fraction because his Boss's head is tilted all wrong and if he leans into Tony like that they'll… Gibbs stops at Tony's withdrawal both staring at the other, neither moving. Something horrible twists in Tony stomach as he realises Gibbs was going to kiss him… wasn't he… or was Tony just reading things wrong. Did he want his Boss to kiss him? Tony's hand moved higher than Gibbs's knee, body moving for what it wanted even as his mind struggles to rationalise it away. His eyes dropped closed and he leant forward, head tilted up. He tensed as he felt Gibbs shift, felt warm breath on his lips… so close to tasting… a streak of want twisting through his stomach.

Gibbs started as his phone rang, loud and grating and just ruining everything, Tony shrugged away from him, going back to leaning against the fridge, legs curling tighter… away from his…


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry guys I know it's short but I rally don'tknow if I like this or not, I may rewrite it and replac it... I seem to be at an end at the moment. Oh well hope you at leastfind it amusing. Thankyou vary much to MC and The Nagging Cube. You's guys are very cool. And also MC I'm glad you liked the last chapter. Cheers Guys.**

**Chapter Eighteen**

_Delinquent Behaviour_

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.

Colin Raye

Gibbs felt the elevator jerk slightly as it reached the morgue. Always the last stop on the line… yet today it felt like it. His heart was racing slightly, at least a beat quicker than normal. Gibbs doubted it had anything to do with way lay inside of autopsy… more like it had to do with the young man he'd left on a kitchen floor. Young man… way too young for him if he's honest. Way too good for him, if he's honest.

Gibbs though doesn't want to be honest at the moment, least of all with himself. He wants simply to drift along the euphoria that comes with new found possibilities. Doesn't want to think about how he did this with each and every other wife and lover. He doesn't want to think… just want to do… Actions, there easy, simple, no undercurrents, no double meanings.

He stepped through the steel doors and out into the frigid air, footsteps echoing along the short corridor.

"Agent Gibbs." The lights turned way down low, the voice more frigid than the air.

He's on one of the autopsy tables and oh how Gibbs would like to put him there permanently. Wonders what it would cost him if he did. How much will it cost him not too… His eyes drop to the lone body laid out.

"He was one of yours…?" Gibbs observed, just as cold.

"In a manner of speaking."

"Did you even think before you pulled the trigger?"

"Would you?" They could almost be two people having a conversation about politics or the weather.

"So what now? You go back to whoever's in charge… and tell them what?" The smirk he receives is faultless and infuriating. He shrugs lazily. Gibbs feels his fingers curl in on themselves, more of a physical reaction than a conscious choice.

"Two failed missions, if it were me, personally, I'd use you for target practice." Gibbs bit.

"Now agent Gibbs you'd use me target practice regardless…" He smoothes and if Gibbs had any real doubts beforehand over what he was about to do, they'd have evaporated right then and there.

"Fortunately for me… the people I report to have lower expectations."

"They must they hired you." It's childish and yet somehow satisfying none the less.

"Agent Gibbs you do have a humorous side… How refreshing…" He chided.

"Though you really should be more thankful… Because if I hadn't been who I say I am… then… well who knows what state you would have gotten poor little An-tiony back in." He pouts and Gibbs feels his hand twitch.

"Because you were a prefect gentleman." Gibbs lathers the sarcasm on thick and wonders why there sparring verbally at all, why hasn't he already done what he came to. The bastard's given him every reason and just keeps giving him more.

"Now really I returned agent DiNozzo completely untouched…" He finishes with a private little chuckle as though something is fucking funny.

"Well… untasted at any rate… perhaps a little bruised." He states casually.

"You threw him down on a table and brutalised him…" There's an edge to his voice. The other slips off the table, puts his arms out in a kind of a lazy shrug, stepping forward and removing the distance between them.

"Brutalised? No… teased… certainly but…" Gibbs feels his hand move, rather than actually moving it himself.

He feels Ari's throat, hot under his palm, as his fingers wrap around and clutch at the reddening skin. Thumb pressing below his Adam's apple. The speech is cut off, but the smirk only widens and Gibbs finds that his gun feels even better… Other hand going to wrap around the cold metal, retrieving it from the holster. The muzzle is pressed to his shoulder, held close between their bodies.

"Go ahead Agent Gibbs, shoot me… or choke me… but do kill me." The tone is deadpan, inviting, teasing... Gibbs wants to smack the careless expression off his face.

"Kill me before I tell you how it feels to have his legs wrapped around your waist." He laughed and Gibbs found himself pressing harder with his thumb.

"How beautiful it is to have him laid out, ready to give you everything…"

"He gave you nothing!" Gibbs snapped.

"You took what you wanted!"

"And in my place… you would have done the same!" Gibbs snarled at that hand tightening further, the other choking down a splutter.

"So you see we are very much the same kind of animal… Only you would have taken more, would've used him up and…" It's Gibbs's fist cradling the gun, which shuts him up this time. The knuckles colliding with his cheek, splitting the inside so he's tasting blood. He smiles with bloody teeth.

"You're not denying it!" The gun is pressed back to his shoulder, Gibbs seething, anger rolling and writhing in his gut. Because yes… he's afraid he'll use Tony that way. The hammer clicks as he pulls it back. The smile doesn't falter.

"Agent Gibbs, that is my shoulder." Callused fingers brush against the barrel pushing it down, only half an inch or so.

"That is my heart…"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey darls thankyou once again to LLB MC and the nagging cube. You'll are great. Thankyou to every who tuning in for my drivelling. Another short hard chapter... hey I make this look easy but it really ain't. I also hope I've done everything justice. Cheers.**

**Chapter Nineteen**

_Love Me True_

_Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option_

* * *

Gibbs sat stiffly at his desk, scribing out page after page of forms… Once again, proving, that you should shoot to kill. Actually the paperwork would have been moving along more rapidly if he wasn't spending at least three-quarters of every hour looking at a certain obnoxiously loud agent. An obnoxious lout, with perfectly red lips and… 

"Well probie it's all about keeping your head in a crisis…" Tony was currently mid severely-edited story. Gibbs stifled a smile, forcing his eyes to go resolutely back to the rather unattractive forms.

Tony had almost kissed him… Or he had almost kissed Tony. Gibbs paused, mid word, ink blotting slightly as the pen jarred to a stop... Definitely the second one, he had… taken advantage… if he's honest and that seems to be where he's at right at the moment. Making Ari the bastard right, he'd used Tony the first chance he'd had. The boy had wanted comfort, guidance… a shoulder to fucking cry on… The boy looked up to him like a father and he'd used it to try'en jump him.

When Gibbs took up scrawling once more the pen almost scratched through the thin sheet. He forced himself to ease up and then gave up all together, deciding to go in search of coffee.

-.-.-

Tony shifted at his desk, he flirted with Kate and teased McGee and paid attention to neither. His mind was on Gibbs, on feeling eyes track over him, again and again.

Tony licked his lips, when really it was his mouth that was dry and his palms were sweating. Because Gibbs was; watching him, or at least Tony thought he was. Every time he looked up Gibbs was looking elsewhere or just looking at them all in general, eyes flicking over Kate and Tim as well. Whenever he looked away though… He'd been in trouble enough times before. Tony knew when Gibbs was glaring at him and this was not entirely different, still just as intense, still the same tremble of apprehension.

Tony looked over once more and Gibbs was scribbling away mindlessly. Tony shook it off. Gibbs wasn't watching him… not like that. All of which didn't change the fact that Tony wanted him to be and the fact that he's having sexual thoughts about his very male boss would have freaked him out at one point.

Tony doesn't exactly know when that changed… Voss? Ari? The gay marines? He's starting to think that they, along with Kate's constant teasing all may have wedged the closet open a little wider for him.

That fact that's its Gibbs would have surprised him to once-upon-a-time, but now that he really looks at it, hadn't they been flirting for almost a year now. It was strange looking back on passed events with new eyes. Everything had been thrown into a shade that he didn't recognise. Everything was tinted a different colour and yet not entirely because Kate leaning over her desk was still enough to make him smirk and think dirty thoughts.

Gibbs rising huffily and stalking into the break room snapped Tony back to his other line of thought. Usually the stand-offish set of his shoulders and the ridged I don't do small talk posture would have been enough to keep Tony at his desk, but he just had to know what the hell had gone on in his kitchen last week.

-.-.-

Gibbs considered the depressing looking coffee in the break room and then thought about what Kate had dubbed his 'caffeine-dealer' three blocks away. He jumped a little when he turned to find Tony standing behind him.

"Jesus Tony what the hell do you think your doing?" Gibbs snapped.

"Boss I was just, wanting to talk about…" Tony's mouth went dry because Gibbs was just staring at him. That he was about to ask if they'd almost kissed or not, suddenly seemed akin to jumping without a parachute.

The room had no windows of its own and the lights were off for some reason, mostly they didn't get turned on, at least until someone actually wanted to eat. Light spilled in from the door so the fluros weren't really needed away.

Tony licked his lips and realised that he didn't have the words. Gibbs had tried to kiss him or he'd tried to kiss Gibbs or both. Did it really matter what had almost happened, explaining it and analysing it and asking if it actually meant anything.

Tony stepped forward those last few inches and kissed him and Gibbs let his eyes drop closed. That was it, they were both standing there arms resting loosely by their sides. Lips together, unmoving, but pressed into a delicate swell. Gibbs swallowed, it was juvenile, how 6 year olds get started and yet it was hot and sweet and so fucking good…

"What the hell do you think your doing DiNozzo?" It was Gibbs's fault because he'd let it carry on a moment too long. There's hurt in Tony's eyes when he pushes him back and wipes his mouth. Because it just can't happen.

"I just…" Tony try's to get his head around the shift, because Gibbs had… No Tony had definitely kissed him this time and Gibbs hadn't liked it. Tony had gotten something screwed up the other night.

"I thought…"

"Yeah, I know what you thought Tony…" Gibbs snapped and Tony backed up a step.

"Don't do it again." Gibbs growled and stalked passed him.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry this is so boring. I rather liked the way this turned out. But it is a little dull, unforetunately it had to be. So next chapter I will do the conversation between Tony and Abbey's friend and get it out of the way. Then we will be back to Gibbs and Ari and some lovely under-handed stuff. Sorry to anyone who's miffed also about Gibbs, he will get over it... eventually. Thankyou to AngelEyes, Abbey and Andycake who review my very small last chapter. Also thankyou to MC, The Nagging Cube and LLB. Who constantly review my bare little ramblings. Hope ya'll enjoy.  
**

**Chapter Twenty**

**_If I Were Gay_**

_I've just found out there are pages on the internet dedicated to whether I'm **gay** or not._

_Matthew Perry_

The whole thing with Gibbs only hurt a little, embarrassment was more what racked Tony after the encounter. Gibbs seemed more than willing to just forget the whole thing, pretend it never happened. Tony was still questioning how he could have misread things so badly.

It was the whole terrorist thing, it had him all messed up, all mixed up. Tony was very happily straight. Or at least he had been… or was it just Gibbs, was he reading too much into the protectiveness the other displayed. He must have been, on Gibbs's end anyway, but his reaction to the man was real enough, wasn't it? Was he really interested in… his boss?

Tony couldn't picture it, them together, actually Tony had trouble picturing them in any kind of intimate setting. Not because his mind couldn't supply the bright vivid images, it was just that, that line of thinking always lead to hysterical giggling and Kate was starting to give him strange looks.

Then again he couldn't imagine kissing McGee either… Proof that he wasn't gay, just because it didn't ick him, didn't mean he was signing up for the lifestyle… and yet, he couldn't help but wonder... _Great…_ Tony thought miserably as he closed another finished report. _I'm not gay, I'm just curious…_ This came with a sigh.

-.-.-

"Abbey…" Tony said setting down a coffee and a Caf-Pow, along with roast chicken rolls.

"Oh, Tony you big bag of sugar." Abbey smirked picking up the drink.

"Abbey… Do you think there is any chance that I may possibly be, just a little…" Tony swallowed, face colouring slightly, he and Abbey had discussed this before, but now… last time he hadn't really entertained the idea… Now he seriously wanted an opinion.

"Do you think I'm harbouring same sex tendencies?" He felt stupid once he'd said it. He of all people should know the answer to this.

"Tony if this is about Voss again…" Abbey half scolded…

"It's not… I mean I like women. Cleavage and curving legs and really short skirts… But…" Tony stopped, careful about how much he said in regards to Gibbs.

"I tried to kiss our boss…" Tony eventually added. Abbey choked on her drink. She placed a hand over her mouth and gagged, eyes planted firmly on the floor. She set the drink aside and straightening her shirt looked back at Tony.

"And he didn't shoot you…" She frowned.

"Abbey!" Tony grumped.

"Sorry it's just, not even the gay thing its Gibbs… I wouldn't kiss him… not like that!" She shrugged.

"Yeah that was a mistake on my part. I thought that…" Tony realises that he's stepping into murky waters. The further he goes into the whole him and Gibbs thing the more likely he is to tell Abbey things Gibbs probably doesn't want her to know.

"…well what I thought was wrong… But I just… I…" It was at this crucial point that Tony realised that if he couldn't explain it to himself then he probably couldn't explain it to anyone else either. Luckily Abbey stepped in to take up the slack.

"So do you just have a thing for Gibbs or…"

"I don't know, I can't really picture myself with anyone… not without laughing. But-" Abbey took her drink and moved back around the counter looking over sample reports, starting to unwrap the roll.

"I say jump in." She piped in.

"What?" Tony frowned.

"Date a guy. Jump in feet first and if your gay I'm sure that'll sort it out for you!" She smiled suddenly. Tony shifted uncomfortably and had that dentist-visit look on his face.

"What…"

"But what if I am..."

"Gay?" Abbey put her hand up in a shrug.

"Then I would guess your gay… you get a boyfriend and matching fuzzy blue towels… or whatever it is gay guys do… I don't exactly have insider information here Tony." Abbey offered.

"I mean what about girls…"

"What about them…"

"I still like woman. If I'm gay then what I don't date them anymore." Abbey laughed at this, snorting caffeine and coughing once more.

"Tony… seriously I think if anything your bi in which case you have a whole plethora of choices in regards to dating. I very much doubt you'll suddenly stop wanting bubble-headed bimbos." Abbey smirked.

"But what if I do?"

"Then… you won't miss them."

"What if I do…"

"Then you'll… be a gay guy who dates chicks on the weekend." Abbey quipped.

"Unless your in a relationship with a guy and then… you won't date anyone else…" Abbey paused, frowning.

"Which I would like to at this interval, point out that you would do the same in a relationship with a girl." Abbey sighed.

"You look disappointed."

"I just…" Abbey made everything that was spinning behind his eyes sound really simple… and it wasn't.

"Tony… I can't help with this… I mean I can tell you that I don't care what you do in the bedroom… actually I think you being gay would be really cool. But I can't… Oh wait yes I can. Jason…" Her eyes lit suddenly.

"A what?" Tony frowned.

"Jason, Jason he's an old my friend of mine. He's really nice and he's been out for years… I'll call him and see if wants to talk." She huffed excitedly rifling through her bag and handing him a picture.

"Abbey I don't know if I want to…" Tony actually flinched at the thought and it had nothing to do with the guy being gay. It was more that he was following Abbey's Goth lifestyle as well, Tony could just imagine meeting him.

"You're not going to catch anything Tony!" Abbey scowled.

"I know!"

"I'll call him tonight… and if he should happen to have a lunch free…" Abbey said sweetly.

"I'll go and be very polite." Tony sighed.

"What?" Tony asked as Abbey looked back down at the reports and then snickered.

"You tried to kiss Gibbs…"

"Don't tell anyone about that!"

"I guarantee nothing…" Abbey smirked

**A/N: Hey, hope this works for everyone. I got my friend Adam to look it over and he seems to think Tony is believeable so I hope it worked for eveyone else.  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys. Lovely to see you all once more. Thankyou to my lovely reviews... You'd are great as always... sorry about how long this took but I've been chain ficcing or whatever you want to call it. Actually I suggest everyone give it a tried. It's fantastic. It gives you such a unique look at characters and how you write them compared to other people... Also it really show your style. I suggest everyone give it a go. Come on grab a friend, grab a ficcer and go back and forths its really amazing. Back on topic though... Thankyou to Olivia, AngelEyes and as always MC your all darls. Hope you enjoy...  
**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**_Cute Couple_**

**It could be a straight couple just as much, kind of a Romeo and Juliet. That's why I object to the '****gay cowboy movie' label. It's really much more about unrequited love and (how) the pain that goes with it affects not just the major characters, but everybody who's around them. It has a lot more to do with society's pressure to conform.**

**Nikki Baumblatt**

* * *

Tony shifted uncomfortably… Apparently Abbey's friend had the next day's lunch free and Tony wasn't sure he actually wanted to meet the guy. It was him more than anything else; Tony's left foot trying desperately trying to take up residence in his mouth and that was just the conversation he was playing out in his head.

He considered at great length just getting up and leaving, realising when the other sat down across from him that he had missed his chance.

"Hi, you're Tony right?" A hand was extended over the table.

"Jason Whiles." His smiled and Tony was floored, totally, completely and utterly floored. In the picture his hair had been longer, spiked and green, his face painted white while his eyes were shaded into black hallows. Every bit a Goth, just as the guy sitting across from him was every inch a business man. Smooth suit, expensive cologne and a face that just screamed 'you can trust me'.

"Hey tell me can Abbey really get away with wearing her Goth get-up to work?" He smirked.

"All except for court dates." Tony sighed and the other laughed.

"Figures." He snorted and the conversation continued, light and unimposing, Tony relaxing in his seat as they ordered.

"Do you mind?" Jason enquired holding up a pack of cigarettes, Tony shook his head. The other lit up as their drinks where placed in front of them.

"So, Abbey said you wanted to talk about sex." He said it casually with a sip of coffee; they were out on the veranda of a café three blocks from NCIS, alone, all the other patrons seated well inside the doors and out of ear shot. Tony managed to snort most of his mouthful of drink up his nose anyway. He coughed and covered his mouth as the orange juice threatened to come back up. Jason watched in silence, a puff of smoke floating from his mouth.

"Sorry, but Abbey said not to let you avoid the subject." He stated, leaned back completely comfortable.

"Well if think it's safe to say I just crashed head-long into it." Tony spluttered.

"So what do you do… and how the hell do you know Abbey?" Tony rasped when the worst of the gagging had passed. Jason smirked.

"Dude, don't think of this as a date!" Tony dropped the glass back onto the table with a thunk and the smirk widened.

"Excuse me…" Tony scowled.

"You think that by chitchatting with me this is somehow gonna get less awkward or that if you go on long enough Lunch will be over and you can go. Unfortunately there are two ugly truths to spoil that assumption." He took another drag, more smoke filling the air.

"Firstly this will only ever be less awkward once you're actually comfortable with yourself… as tacky as that sounds and secondly yes we can sit here and talk about the weather, but that's not gonna help with the biting sense of curious-not-rightness that's rolling in your stomach. You're gonna take that with you when you go!" He explained and Tony fell back into a slouch in his seat. Tony officially hated this guy, he was so smug and smart…

Tony watched him stub out one cigarette and light another.

"Come on… either you can ask or I can just talk?" He almost teased.

"I'm just worried about putting my foot in my mouth." Tony admitted.

"I got outed in high school and I currently have twice cousins who are 19 and slash fanfiction writers… and although you probably will put your foot in your mouth, I doubt I'll take offence… Besides you'll probably never see me again anyway."

"Slash fanfiction?"

"Yeah they write stories featuring all there favourite TV characters as complete fags…" He laughed and Tony found himself smirking to.

"And those two really will ask anything."

The waitress came back and set plates down in front of them. Jason's mobile trilled and Tony took the time to contemplate what the hell he was game enough to ask.

"Hey babe… I'm having lunch at the Phoenix Café… No it's not work… Well I think that's a little rude to just… Yeah okay, I know its only two weeks away… Okay hang on I'll ask…" Jason bit his lip and then clapping a hand over the phone sighed.

"Dude… I know this is really rude but do mind if my boyfriend joins us… We're tying the knot in two weeks and apparently the roses are the wrong shade or something… and he's freaking…" He breathed.

"No sure." Tony said, poking at his chicken.

"Yeah… okay… well we'll talk about it when you get here… okay b-… Rude bastard never says goodbye." He huffed and Tony hid a smirk behind scratching his nose.

"So what's its like?" Tony asked and then wondered why.

"Being gay… I don't think I was ever really straight… Hey what's that like…" In another tone it could have been condescending but the way he tossed it off, casual and easy and slightly genuine, just made Tony smile.

"It's a big deal sometimes…" He said sucking on the cigarette once more. He looked down at it and his eyes widened. He stubbed it out and pushed the ashtray back into the middle of the table.

"Don't tell him I was smoking he'll kill me." He explained quickly and again Tony had to laugh, because his father had said the same thing to him years ago.

"But yeah sometimes being gay is a huge pain… People don't just look at you and know but when they find out some people just don't like it… some professions, being out of the closet simply isn't an option…" He said honesty.

"As a general rule… don't ask… don't tell… works pretty well actually." He sighed.

"Hey…" Tony eyes drifted up to the guy standing behind Jason.

"Hi Hon." Jason mumbled. The blonde pulled out a chair and feel into it.

"The yellow roses are purple… The table clothes have a rose print instead of snowflakes and your mother is driving me insane." He breezed.

"Alex… Tony DiNozzo, Tony my soon to be, better half… for better or worse." Jason said draining the last of his coffee.

"Hi." He smiled and then whacked the other across the shoulder and then sniffed.

"Yuck Jason you've been smoking."

"I have not." Alex scowled, eyes flicking across the table, he picked up the used glass bowl.

"It was him." Jason whined.

"Yeah right… He thinks I'm stupid." Alex said across the table.

"Yes but I think it's a very adorable type of stupid." Jason smirked and got another swat. The smirk widened and he leaned across catching the others lips. Tony stiffened slightly, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. He looked around and realised that shockingly no one but him seemed to care. Largely the people inside didn't notice. There was an older couple in the corner, the wife's eyes flicking over and then flicking away unconcerned. Two teenaged girls sat in the corner giggling and smirking and pointing.

"Fucking Fags…" A group of passers by admonished… Hard to tell who had said it exactly, possibly one of the guys… or maybe one the girls trailing along behind. If either of the others heard they didn't seem to care. It had an odd effect on Tony though… He actually felt a streak of anger, how was it any of their fucking concern what two grown men did with themselves.

"See what I mean about random arseholes." Jason smirked as he pulled back.

"Hey babe, Tony wants to know what being gay's like… So why don't you give your unique prospective and I'll go order you food." Jason rose and left.

"Mostly it's just a pain in my arse." Alex shifted his plate around and started to pick at it. Tony snorted.

"So what do you wanna know?" He seemed unembarrassed like Jason…That however was where similarities ended. Jason was neat-looking, composed. This guy shifted constantly, long blonde hair falling into his eyes. He was also in faded jeans and a paint splattered top. Actually there was paint everywhere, up his arms and dotting his hair.

"What's sex like?" Tony asked casually… then realised what had just left his mouth and blushed.

"Like what… I mean isn't it weird…" Great Tony you just dig that hole a little deeper. He berated. Alex laughed…

"Isn't all sex weird?" Tony's blush deepened…

"I don't know…" Alex sighed.

"You gain a new respect for women… at least I did. 'Cos they make oral sex look way easier that it actually is." He smiled.

"Really." Tony swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Yeah, I suppose it depends a lot you who your with. But the first time for me was really awkward. I had no idea what I was doing, or if I should even be doing it and the guy I was with was really heavy handed and well I wound up with a bruised throat and- kind of threw up on him…" Tony bit his tongue to stop from laughing and when that impulse passed he was left with what the other had actually just said. Was it really that hard? Tony suddenly found him wondering about all women he'd ever taken home… Had he ever been that demanding? Something must have shown on Tony's face…

"Hey come on it wasn't that bad, actually with Jason its fun… I like it." The blush crept back into Tony's cheeks.

"So… what do you, I mean what else do you do?" Tony stumbled… at a loss, he got the whole anal sex thing but really, really wasn't ready to discuss it… maybe not ever… along with doing it.

"Anything, we kiss, we touch, rub, stroke… bite, scratch, slap, pinch… Hell we even have sex." Tony once again wound up with juice up his nose… Alex laughed as he tried to cough it back down his throat.

"You'll probably end up doing it." He offered.

"I avoided it for the longest time because it just sounded weird and painful and gross… But ah, I got drunk one night with the idiot inside and-" He shrugged…

"It was weird and gross and a little painful… There was a part of me that really liked it though and it gets better with practice…" He said and was blushing lightly too.

"Does it always hurt?" Tony rasped.

"No not really… well without stretching and lubricant then probably, but it burns more than anything. Just a king tight, hot feeling and it like I said it gets easier the more you do it… well I don't know about with different partners but with the same one you kind of just, adjust to them."

"So you…"

"Bottom?... Yeah, I've topped before but I didn't like it." Tony really didn't get that.

"I like… Having him inside me… Besides I feel disappointed when I'm on top. It's the whole prostate, stars bursting behind your eyes thing, which you really have to feel to appreciate."

"Apparently I was getting this for me." Tony jumped guiltily, feeling like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. Jason stood in the doorway plate in hand.

"I was hungry…"

"You're always hungry." Jason sat the plate down in front of himself.

"Tony and I were just discussing the problems with gay relationships…" Alex sighed.

"Problems gee lets see. Stealing all the blankets, keeping a death grip on the TV remote… eating everything they can get there hands on…"

"Hey…"

"Leaving the cap off the toothpaste… using my toothbrush…"

"It was one time… I thought it was mine and I said I was sorry…"

-.-.-

**_Aren't they great?_** Appeared in big red letters on Tony's computer screen.

**_They're certainly something…_** Tony typed.

**_LOL._** Flashed up beneath it

_**Thanks Ab's.**_

**_No prob Tony… alright I'm heading out… bye…_** Tony watched her ID pinkpixiedust disappear from the screen. He sat back in his chair, keyboard sitting lightly in his lap. Shockingly he felt relaxed, calm… all wasn't right with the world, but for a few hours he could pretend it was and actually get a goodnight's sleep.

He started a little, as another private message box opened with a tinkle.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Still carrying the 18 mag clip?**_

Tony frowned.

_**NCISnotCSI says:**_

_**Excuse me?**_

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

**_How's your lip? And your arms, not too bruised I hope?_**

Tony stared blankly for a second and then slammed the laptop shut… mouth dry…


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hey guys... I really have to start work on other fics but alas MC and AngelEyes I'm blaming you two. Thanks for the reviews. Thankyou anyone who's still reading this trash. After this chapter... please no hate mail and also ya'll should pay very carefully attention to this because a lot of chapters are going to be this way... featuring... certain people. Okay on we go. Cheers...  
**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

_**Avoidance**_

_I **hate** the sin, but I **love** the sinner_

_Thomas Buchanan Read_

* * *

Tony hadn't known how to deal with it! So he'd ignored it, very much in the style of his parents. Unfortunately after dragging himself out of bed, sore and tired because he spent the whole night tossing and turning. He realised that his laptop had not, regrettably, been eaten by something during the night. It was closed on his desk, standby light flashing slowly.

Tony had downed two coffees and then had approached it wearily. He had pulled it open and then had watched as the screen flickered back to life. The message window stood open and stark.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**I suspect your pride more wounded than anything else.**_

_**Not without good reason of course.**_

**_I hope you've realised that I only did what was necessary._**

**_What I had to…_**

Tony had felt anger lance through him and slammed the laptop back shut, flicking the off button at the side…

Now sitting casually in NCIS trying vainly to track down a ten year old police report, another instant message appeared onscreen and he realised that he still didn't know how to take it.

_**Beretta9mm says:**_

_**Having fun?**_

"Yes, I'm still here." Tony huffed as the nasal voice of the sheriff's secretary blossomed in his ear.

"Yes I've been told that all the reports were computer catalogue after the water-damage… I was just wondering where they ended up being stored?" Tony bit back a hiss.

"Yes I know the computers are networked but… yes its important that I have it… what-…" Tony hung up a suddenly dead phone. Fucking rude…

_**Beretta9mm says:**_

_**Try here… 555 4272…**_

Tony looked insidiously at the screen, he couldn't know that… Tony picked the receiver back up and dialled.

"Green-Bay county clerk's office how may I help you?" A voice asked sweetly.

"Hi, this is Special agent Tony DiNozzo I was looking for an old police report that was originally stored in Nathan Cr-…"

"The ones that were transferred over after the flooding?" She cut in.

"Yes…"

"What's the case number dear?"

"69523." Tony quoted.

"We have it archived. I'll email you the file and send over a print, notarized copy by courier today." She stated.

"Thankyou-" Again she cut in.

"Tony DiNozzo, NCIS right?" It was sweet and polite but rushed and Tony supposed that she would be busy.

"Yeah the address is…"

"We have it on file, courier should be there before two and I just sent the file then."

"Thankyou."

"Bye." She said and hung up. Tony dropped the phone back down into the cradle and stared blankly at the computer screen. He tapped absently for a moment then reached forward.

_**NCISnotCSI says:**_

_**How do you know that… How do you know what I'm working on… Get off my computer!**_

Tony hit the enter key angrily and watch the message appear onscreen.

_**Beretta9mm says:**_

_**I think you answered your own question there really… I am on your computer… I can see what you're working on… as for knowing where the files were I had a look through the police network logs.**_

_**NCISnotCSI says:**_

_**Go play with someone else!**_

Tony closed the window and then blocked the messages. He sighed and then opened his emails. Case file 69532 from M. Shaw sat at the top of his unread list.

**Beretta9mm says:**

**Childish Anthony, very childish.**

Tony's mouth hung open as the message popped up onscreen. It was still set as blocked when he checked, that apparently didn't seem to have much bearing though.

Dude get off my screen… Thanks for the help… but go bother someone else! Tony typed.

**Berretta9mm says:**

**But I like playing with you.**

Tony winced as he realised that he'd really walked right into that one.

That's it, ya know what I'm ignoring you… have fun playing with yourself! Tony left the window open and went back to the emails.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

**_I am sorry I had to scare you when we last met. That I had to threaten those things._**

Tony rolled his eyes and ignored it, the fact that the window kept reopening with every new message made it hard though.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**I'm not sorry about the rest though. I should be ashamed about the position I had you in but I can't be.**_

Tony once again went back to his emails and this time managed to open the file itself. It appeared on the screen and then was covered by…

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**I'm sorry but I quite liked having you under me.**_

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Do you know how hard it was not to just forget about everything else I had to do and take you…**_

Tony's hands were motionless on the keyboard, his mouth open a little. He felt his skin creep at the last sentence.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

**_I didn't want to rape you. I just wondered what it would take to make you want me. Make you give in._**

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

**_It was your eyes that stopped me…_**

Stop it! Tony wanted to shout, but had enough sense to instead slam it out on the keyboard.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

**_Sorry talking to myself… back to you in a minute._**

Tony felt himself fume at the dismissal.

I hate you! He typed childishly, as if it meant anything.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

**_Yes. And it bothers me._**

I am trying to work… I don't need you telling me anything. Go away, go far away. Go home, that's a whole other country. No actually come here so I can yell at you and beat the fuck out of you. Just don't sit there and tell that you're so sorry for things that no one made you do. Tony hit enter and realised two things… what he'd actually just written and that the enter on his keyboard was now broken. It was stuck down. Tony pushed it, wiggled it, pried at it.

_**Berreta9mm says:**_

_**I'll let you get back to it then.**_

Tony once again turned off the computer without shutting it down and then ripped out his keyboard…

-.-.-

"How did you do that?" Abbey giggled as he dropped in on her desk.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey Guys, anyone who's still reading this, thanks. And here you go AngelEyes since I don't need another stalking. Cheers**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

_**Intrusion**_

_Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat._

_Mother Teresa_

* * *

"So what am I doing here?" Tony questioned, slurred very slightly.

"You're drunk." Abbey pointed out.

"Am I?" Tony asked.

"How else do you think we'd get you to come here with us?" McGee informed.

"Good point probie." Tony swallowed.

He'd gone out after work for drinks, with Abbey and McGee and that was possibly the saddest thing ever… The McGee part anyway, Abbey was cool. At any rate they'd gone to some strange bar, with strange little red drinky-things, which Tony had swallowed under protest when he realised that the… thing serving behind the bar didn't even get the concept of beer.

Now his head felt fizzy and the two of them had dragged him to some weird gaming place. Which was how Tony found himself slumped in a chair, with a keyboard on his lap… playing something with elves.

"Tony you're sucking…" Abbey giggled.

"Yeah well I can't see straight." Tony stated. It was a lie, things were fuzzy by choice, and he was quite okay with loosing to McGee and Abbey and just floating along in a nice alcoholic cloudiness.

Work had sucked. The… keyboard thing and the fact that Gibbs had been giving him the cold shoulder all day. Probably for the rest of his life, of course he'd only really notice it for however long he stayed at NCIS. How long was he staying at NCIS for?

It would be his longest running job to date. Tony shook the thought from his head. He wasn't going anywhere. Mainly because Gibbs had already threatened his life once for trying it.

"Tony your really suck." Abbey laughed as he died rather pathetically. What neither her nor McGee could see was the message box that had opened on his screen.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Still working?**_

"Think I'm just gonna surf for a while." Tony mumbled. He suddenly loved whatever the little red drinks were, because if it weren't for them he would've flipped.

"No porn Tony." Abbey sighed.

"I'll keep it PG13 I swear."

Are you stalking me? Tony typed, haze lifting a little.

'Cos that'd be creepy. He was supposed to type 'super', all cool and not caring, which was supposed to be shown with the movie quote. Unfortunately his fingers weren't co-operating.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Creepy is actually penned in on my contract.**_

Tony actually snorted and now he was blaming, cursing the little red thingies.

Dude, what do you want from me? Don't you have someone else to bother? Family, friends… hopefully a therapist… but I'll settle for a homicidal maniac who is eventually gonna take you out. When the alcohol wore off that probably wouldn't seem even half as funny as it did now.

Minutes ticked over and Tony stared blankly at the screen, higher thought processes weren't something that he wanted at the moment anyway.

No one? Tony teased thinking how he could totally get the whole, not liking this guy.

Another few more minutes trickled by, and Tony actually started to think about it.

Wait, not anyone. It was mind-bending and yet was something Tony should have realised.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Like you said. Home is a whole other country.**_

Are you even welcome there?

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Sometimes.**_

I shouldn't be talking to you! Tony closed the message and logged off… God, a couple of little red, sparkly cupfuls of liquid and he was having a friendly conversation with someone who'd threatened his life, who'd thrown him over tables and had put Gerald in rehab.

"Abbey I'm- gonna go." Tony sighed pulling himself up from the chair. His head was still tingling faintly, but walking wasn't a problem.

"You gonna get home okay?" She laughed, peering out from behind her computer screen.

"Yep, I'm right as rain." Tony sniffled, stuffing his phone and keys into his pocket.

"Where are we exactly?" Abbey scoffed and then choked a little, straw still stuck between her teeth.

"Your apartments on this street Tony… Turn right outside and its three blocks up." She laughed, spinning back and forth on her chair.

-.-.-

Tony gasped as a sheet of cold air wrapped around him outside the glass doors. Jacaranda… Tony did know the street and yes his apartment was only three blocks down, he stayed standing where he was on the sidewalk. Everything looked so different under the street lights, so stark and lonely.

Tony turned and trudged up the street, feet falling heavily. The alcohol that previously had made him feel so light and heady was now weighing him down.

Tony tired to rub the sleep from his eyes and only succeeded in making himself yawn. He needs sleep; proper, uninterrupted, peaceful sleep. Realistically he probably wasn't gonna get it.

He stumbled up the steps into his building, snickering a little when he fumbled with his key and for the very first time ever regretted not taking his fathers advice on moving into somewhere more expensive, with a doorman. Tony liked this place though, it looked… modest.

He didn't often do the battered little rich kid thing, he liked money. Loved it… actually so far it was his longest running love affair. But if his parents cutting him out of the family fortune had taught him anything it was that you didn't actually need half of what you thought you did.

Tony made it to his door and again fumbled with the key and again he had to bite down laughter. He brushed stray tuffs of hair out from his face and somehow managed to open the lock. Almost falling into his apartment when the door suddenly swung inwards and he realised that along with his shoulder he'd been resting quite a bit of his weight against the wooden panelling.

Hysterical laughed starting toppling out as he stumbled and fell inside his apartment, kicking the door closed behind him. The dead bolt latched and Tony crossed his legs and sat on the polished floor boards and cackled. He tried to stop, put his hand over his mouth and then bit between his thumb and forefinger, but it didn't help, snickers slipping out past his skin.

The spluttering soon turned to gasping sobs of breath and Tony removed the hand, tearing steaming down red stained cheeks.

"Seems you're in a good mood?" Tony stopped dead at the voice, breaths, which had started to even out, turning laboured again. Tony finally, really looked at the open space he'd toppled into, eyes blinking away the cloudiness.

"Have I come at a bad time?"


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: You guys... love you all you just so very dramatic sob sweet. Thankyou to MC... as always... your fan-fucking-tastic... it could be love... 'girlfriend slap her head', and we're moving on. AngelEyes... dude no means no okay... I won't have your kids.. Seriously thankyou though... Argh TheNaggingCube... hhhmmm no sorry no joke for this one... just thanks for taking time to review so often. Also thankyou to Kalistar, Alex and NCISgeek and to anyone else whos still here, especially after this... rememeber people it is not nice to chase authors with pitchforks... Okay let get on with it... Enjoy...**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

_**UN-Invited**_

_We've satisfied our endless needs, And justified our bloody deeds, In the name of Destiny, And in the Name of god._

* * *

"Yes this is a bad time." Tony snapped, pulling himself up off the floor.

"There isn't a good time for you!" Tony headed into the kitchen, head swimming and spinning and just fucking messed up.

"You don't just stop by…" Tony choked pulling an orange juice carton from the fridge. The acidic after burn, which poured through his throat as the he swallowed straight from the bottle, cleared his head a little.

Ari watched, as the other gripped the bottle like a life line. A thin trickle of juice slipping passed the corner of his mouth. He swiped at it as the bottle dropped from his lips.

"So do you do this everyone or am I special somehow?" He eventually snapped, recapping the container and then tossing it back into the fridge, violent, like it had done something to offend him. The door was slammed behind it.

"I mean do you just invite yourself into everyone's apartments and- you broke in to my apartment. That's illegal." Ari didn't have much to compare to but he was starting to think he quite liked other drunk.

"Well I was going to wait outside, but I didn't want people getting wrong idea." He teased; the other either didn't hear or wasn't commenting.

"You are in so much trouble." He threatened, wondering into the lounge.

"Are you going to call my mother?" Ari laughed.

"I'll call my mother!" Tony picked up the cordless and started dialling before he remember what he'd already known for ten years… He didn't have a mother…

"Problem?" Ari prodded.

"Shut up!" Tony snarled heading back passed him into the kitchen. Ari walked around the counter that separated the lounge and kitchen. Giving the other a bit of space.

"Hah! Gibbs, I'll call Gibbs." Tony shouted across the island between them ad started dialling. He was half through the number when he sighed, and through the piece of plastic onto the counter.

"Problem?"

"Shut up!" Ari smirked and ventured around the counter.

Tony worried at a thumb nail, starting when he turned and found the other so close to him. He noticed the move… it just hadn't… registered, the alcohol making him sluggish.

"What're you doing?" Tony frowned.

"You didn't call anyone… some conclusions could be drawn on that." He tormented.

"Careful An-tiony, I might start to think you like me." He even went as far as touching the other. Tracking a hand over his arm, leaving it rest against his shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" Tony snarled, grabbing his hand and twisting. Ari winched slightly at the jolt of pain through his wrist.

"And if I call Gibbs he'll probably shoot you…" Tony mumbled.

"Probably." Despite the position, Ari felt relaxed with the brunette. For the first time in months he could drop most pretences, didn't have to worry about what and how much he said.

"So I don't wanna spent the rest of the night hiding your body." He spat. Ari bit but the smile, fairly sure it wouldn't be well received. He was cute though, Agent DiNozzo, mostly predictable, with just enough of a temper to make him interesting.

"You know if you put your thumb a little to the left, pinch a nerve, makes this a lot more painful." Ari lulled, moving the other's thumb.

"Though if you wanted to hold my hand…"

"Does your reality even remotely match-up to everyone else's… or are you just way off in lala land?" Tony snorted.

"I'm not the one inviting strange men over so that they can beat them."

"I never invited you to…" Tony rage and this time it was him getting in Ari face.

"Oh," Unfortunately it stops rather abruptly when he remembers the messages. It wasn't the cause of the oh, though.

"So, going to follow through on that?" Ari was actually curious as to how Tony would do in a fight with him.

"Looks like someone already did." The bruises are old, fading out, but Tony still wonders how he didn't notice them until now. There's one ghosting over an eye, another opposite running across his temple and down, darker when it hits the cheek. Ari's startled at first and actually touches the abused flesh.

"Hazards of the job…" Tony's shocked, actually shocked and yet he shouldn't be. Because the guy hangs out with terrorists and keeps stuffing up their plans. Of course they're going to get pissed.

Ari leaned back against the counter, disconcerted by the strange, almost dismayed look. He winced and leaned forward again.

"In truth my back was worse off." He said, uncomfortably.

"How long ago?" He'd noticed the flinched.

"Two weeks."

"Turn around."

"It's fine."

"Not if it's still that sore." Ari sighed and turned.

Tony lifted the shirt, expecting more bruising, maybe even a cracked rib, his breath caught.

The shallower lashes were starting to scar, while the larger ones were mostly healed over.

Tony had always assumed that whip marks would look a lot like cuts. The reality wasn't even close. They were smoother at the edges, wider and rounded almost, dipping into the skin in a sickening little u shape…

"Your… bosses did this to you…"

"Yes. For failing as miserably as I did… For allowing Myer to be killed… Though in all fairness I'd be worse off if they knew the truth."

"And me." Tony frowned, realising that in all likelihood, one of the gashes was because of him.

"An-tiony I very much doubt you ranked anywhere on their list of complaints." His voice was arrogant, with just the right amount of sarcasm to make it believable. Tony didn't buy it. He ran fingers over some of the scarring, wondering which was his.

"Tony…"

"This middle one's… infected." Tony frowned.

"You're a doctor, aren't supposed to be able to take care of shit like this?" Tony accused, going to fish about under the kitchen sink.

"I've been busy." He murmured, stretching.

"Argh I get it more people to shoot…" Tony sniped, pulling out the first aid kit he'd decided to get after his first week at NCIS.

"Take off your shirt." Tony dropped the box down onto the counter.

"Usually I ask for at least a drink first." Ari realised that he didn't have the other pinned down at all.

"Not getting any younger." Tony snapped.

"You're too highly strung." Ari pulled the shirt over his head and tossed in aside. Showing the white gauze on either side of his right shoulder.

"For some unexplainable reason I don't think I'll-" Tony stopped as he noticed the white patches.

"That was a parting present for your boss."

"You deserved it." Tony stated, but didn't really feel that righteous about it.

"Not inclined to disagree." Tony uncapped the antiseptic and held a cotton ball over the top, tipping it up to watch the fluffy little ball dampen.

"Is it open… the wound is it…"

"No, it's healing its just swollen and…" Tony jumped as a small combat knife appeared in the other hand… form god only knew where.

"You need to reopen it." His fingers wrapped around the blade and offered Tony the handle. Tony took it sluggishly.

"Sorry what?"

"You need to cut the wound back open… Otherwise you shouldn't bother cleaning it. Since it won't do anything." Tony held up the blade… okay not a big deal.

"Timid?"

"Hey… this was one of the distinct reasons why I didn't go into medicine." Tony swallowed.

"Stick to the middle of the wound and stay shallow… you'll do fine…"

"Unless I wanna hurt you."

"Do you?" Tony thought about… thought about digging the other… just a little… his heart wasn't really in it.

"Maybe." Tony taunted. Ari leaned forward a little, hand holding the edge of the island. He winced at the first sting, as the knife pierce flesh across his shoulder blade.

Tony watch the knife moved down, thinking that it shouldn't take this little effort to cut some open… it wasn't right. Puss welled with blood, Tony oddly fascinated by how gross it really was.

He set the knife aside after cutting down to the others hip, vaguely considering the beer that was cold in the fridge… probably best to forgo more alcohol at the moment.

Tony wetted another cotton ball and started to dab, noting how hands clenched a little tighter on the counter.

"Such concern for my health An-tiony… I think your harbouring feeling for me." Tony was too tired to give any real reaction.

"I notice you didn't say things like that when I had a knife in my hands." Ari laughed.

"That's because I'm not stupid."

"Hah you broke into NCIS and shot Gibbs that's the epitome of stupid. And you're an arsehole too…" Tony yawned.

"Really?"

"Do you remember throwing me across a table?"

"But I wouldn't have actually done anything."

"You didn't have to do it at all, we were inside alone… You're just a creep."

"Well… Perhaps you should ask your bosses about that!"


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Well here I am drunk again... I think the wiskey has gone to my head. Anyway to all of you's wanting more Tony/Gibbs well I just have to say this wasn't originally supposed to happen at all... but anyay, enjoy. Thankyou to AngelEyes of course and MC who consisitantly poke and prod and give lovely compliments. Thankyou to AmethystSiri, hop you enjoy the res and lastly to adrian, no I haven't given up on this or Blade, though yes have started a scrubs story as well so that does eat up a little time. I should update at the very least once a week though... I do get suck on how to write things sometimes though so bare with me. Alright enjoy guys...**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

_**Discomfort**_

_Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time._

* * *

Tony bolted up from his bed, panicking, positive that he'd slept through his alarm. He glared at it venomously; as though the piece of plastic had some hand in waking him at 5.15… he didn't need to be up for another hour at least.

Tony dropped back down onto the mattress, wondering what the hell had woken him. He also remembered the fact that he'd been drunk last night and that he wasn't hung over at all, perhaps he was finally starting to build up an immunity.

Tony stiffened, a cold tingle of dread running through him, snippets of memory starting to sew themselves together. Tony wasn't liking the picture so far. He pulled himself out of bed, feet hitting cold floorboards and suddenly the desperate urge to pee presented itself.

He headed to the bathroom first, partly due to need… mainly because he didn't want to face what may have happened in the kitchen. Because right now he could pretend it was all some drunken fantasy.

He padded down to the kitchen, the counters were clean and undisturbed and he could fool himself still, for a little longer, until he peered inside the rubbish bin...

-.-.-

Tony spent the next few weeks miserable, trying to remember what exactly had gone on in his apartment. He had most of it… or at least he thought he did. Actually as time went on he wasn't even sure it had happened at all.

He had considered talking to Abbey about it, even Gibbs at one point, in the end though he just ended up letting it go. The guy was an undercover Mossad agent… Tony had fixed up a complete of wounds for him. It was nothing and since Tony hadn't heard from him in three weeks it was probably safe to assume that the guy was done with him. No need to stir up the pot by bringing him up, especially with Gibbs and things between them had almost gone back to being normal.

His boss seemed more than willing just to forget every thing that had gone on after his kidnapping. Tony is too, he calks it up to some mild form of post traumatic stress, because trying to start something with his boss, even if he were female would be insane.

Tony has himself convinced of this, so much so, that after spending two days cuffed to Jeffery White he's more than happy to accept when Gibbs asks him to come home with him… After he's finished typing a formal report and Gibbs cups his face and says 'You okay Tony?' He gives a vacant little nod and simply follows the other when Gibbs tosses him his jacket… 'Come get drunk with Tony.' He's too tired to read any subtext into it, which is probably a good thing, because from the surface all it looks like is simple concern and that's what Tony really needs at the moment. Just for someone to give a damn…

-.-.-

"He acted like a stupid little stumbling git…" Tony pointed out staring up at the skeleton that is Gibbs' boat so far.

"Who would've thought he was a complete nutcase." Tony breathed, downing some awful kind of alcohol. Possibly it was paint stripper; it wouldn't surprise Tony, Gibbs feeding him something like that as some kind of off-colour joke.

"You couldn't have known Tony." Gibbs assures from outside, peeling unwanted wood from the frame.

"Argh no, no don't let me fool you. I should've known…" He's pretending to be drunker than he actually is, there's a nice warm buzz, that makes speaking difficult and makes his limbs heavy, but he's not quite drunk enough yet to be babbling as much as he is. Mostly he just wants to vent and he definitely wants to blame sounding like an idiot on the alcohol later… But then again he's drunk… maybe he's just convinced himself that he actually wants to babble.

"Boss I always wanted an idiot kid brother, of course not one I had to shoot because he tried to cut my throat." Tony mumbled.

"You've got McGee." Gibbs offers downing the rest of his cup; he sticks it by Tony's head and moves around to the other side of the boat, ruffling short brown hair as he goes.

Tony smiled groggily at the gentle petting.

"Oh please Boss I meant someone who looks up to me. Someone I can boss around and who'll always look up at me… seeing how truly great I- actually guess McGee does kind of fill the bill." Tony tipped the bottle up once more, throat already raw and dry, though he'd stopped almost gagging with every swallow, so it was probably an even trade.

"I didn't want to kill him boss… even when I knew he was going to kill me." Tony sighed staring at the ceiling passed the boat.

"I know Tony." Gibbs said shaving off strips of wood.

"So why do you employ me?" Tony slurred taking another drink and then trying to refill Gibbs' cup.

"Well because beneath all the deep-seated bravado, arrogance, idiocy and general lack of forethought… I know there's a decent agent." Gibbs teased and Tony laughed, because he's never seen Gibbs like this before. He's still trying to refill the cup and manages it rather well, except for the small trickle which drips down onto his cheek as he tries to tip the bottle back up. It's near his mouth and Tony tries vainly to lick it up, tongue sliding along the side of his mouth.

Gibbs laughs at the childish display and reaches across to take the cup, his other hand brushes over Tony's face, thumb collecting the droplets. Tony's stomach squirms as Gibbs pulls back and he watches the digit disappear inside an angular mouth.

"So boss… this brilliant agent that I am… what's he like?" Tony says shifting lightly.

"Still waiting to meet him DiNozzo." Gibbs smirked sipping form his cup.

"Oh boss you are a funny, funny man." Tony sighed, rolling onto his side. He watched strong hands move over dark timber.

Tony pulled himself out of the side, marvelling at how easy it wasn't. He caught his foot on one of the braces more than once, giggling as he did. He managed to slide out though, helped by the clamps holding the boat to the table.

He tripped a little when his feet first hit the floor, hand clutching at the bench. Tony steadied himself and sidled around to Jethro.

"What ya doing boss?" He sighed.

"Fixing the bowing in this section of ribbing Tony..." He explained.

"What's on your mind Tony?" Gibbs asked, as Tony's body brushed against his hip, he turned a little to look at the brunette, increasing the contact. Tony slid in front of him, hand moving to rest on top of his.

"Show me how to do it boss?" Tony murmured leaning heavily against the other.

"Keen interest in boats suddenly Tony?" He asks sceptically, Tony placing his hand over Gibbs'.

"Seems like a good stress release boss. I need a new one." Tony sighed, body moving with his, against his.

"Use to be sex but, haven't been getting much of that lately." Tony confessed, stretching a little inside Jethro's arms.

"Here then Tony... take the plane..." Gibbs instructs removing his hands from the tool.

"Plane?" Tony frowns, palming the heavy bit of metal.

"It's a low angle block plane..." Gibbs says and glares when Tony snickers.

"Sorry boss... just sounds dirty." He smiles, Gibbs rolls his eyes.

"Alright now you need nice even strokes, its best to go hard but not deep." Tony spluttered at that, biting his bottom lip. Gibbs was glaring once more.

"Oh come on boss..._ hard_...you're asking to be laughed at." Gibbs grabbed his hands and pushed the metal back to the curving piece of lumber.

Gibbs swept the metal up, pulling them both forward, Tony caught for the barest of seconds between his boss and the cool wooden slat, pinned by hard muscle.

"Get it?" Gibbs said roughly into his ear, hands dropping from around Tony's.

"Sure thing boss." Tony said licking dry lips, fishing the bottle out from beneath the frame as Gibbs picked up his cup and moved away to lean against the wall. Tony tipped the bottle up; trying to forget about the eyes he can feel on his back.

"So boss man, no DVD player, no stereo… a books even… what the hell do you do out here when you're not playing with boat." Tony sighed; running the blade over the plank a few times experimentally… it wasn't as fascinating when Gibbs wasn't the one doing it.

"Try to finish building one Tony." Tony peers at the other through misted eyes, Gibbs wearing an amused expression. Tony knows there's something obvious here, that he would get if he weren't so out of it. Wait…

"Boss was that a joke…" He slurs, lips feeling a little numb.

"About…" Tony grins.

"Okay I think you've had more than enough alcohol Tony." Gibbs smiles setting down his cup.

"Oh boss come on I'm fine." Tony whines, the other removing the bottle from his hands.

"Come on Tony… lets get you in bed…" Tony would struggle when the other puts an arm under his, only he's not really sure he remember how to.

"Boss I'm fine." He settles for snapping, because Gibbs is treating him like a child somehow and even drunk he knows he hates it.

"And I'm not that cheap a date." He grumbles, Gibbs practically carrying him up the steps.

"Don't worry Tony, virtues safe with me." Tony huffs at the teasing, cheek resting on Jethro's shoulder.

"Jethro Leroy Gibbs…" Tony sighs as they start up the second flight of stairs.

"You had very cruel parents boss." He pants, trying not to giggle hysterically, because that would be a sure sign that he's completely smashed.

He cuddles into a broad shoulder, feeling warm arms cradling him lightly and remembers why he tried to jump the other so very long ago. Tony suddenly feels very serious about the whole thing and plants his feet, swaying a little as they jerk to a standstill. The bedroom door looms open in front of them.

"I wanna kiss you boss." Tony mumbles, pulling himself from the tangle of limbs, trying desperately not to slur.

"It's not a good idea Tony…" Gibbs says looking good in sweats and a t-shirt.

"I know… that's all I've though about and I wanna do it anyway." He should just leave it and even drunk he still knows that he should.

"It's not a good idea." There standing less than a foot apart in Gibbs' upstairs hallway, both drunk, both trying not to touch the other and Tony wants to point out that nothing they ever do is a 'good idea'. That there's a bed three feet in front of them and really it would be a bad idea not to put it to some use… Even if they are too drunk to do much of anything and even if they weren't its not like either would have any clue what their supposed to do anyway. Tony just wants to touch the other even if it is just to pet and grind ridiculously like love starved high schoolers.

"You tried to kiss me first." Tony says following with the high school theme.

"And it wasn't a good idea." Gibbs explains.

"That's not a 'no' boss." Tony says and leans up to a firmly set mouth. Jethro steps back a little, hand going to cup Tony's face, thumb resting across soft lips.

"No." He said tilting Tony's head gently to the side. Tony's stomach fluttered as lips pressed fleetly beneath his ear.

The lips and hand and body heat withdrew… leaving Tony with a depressingly cool feeling bit of space as Gibbs stepped back.

"I'm sorry Tony…" He said, leaving the younger agent to stand in the dark alone.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey guys sorry about the wait. Thankyou to Adrian, AngelEyes, Nate, Elli and Laura-trekkie for reviewing. Nate mate... this fic does just show up on the normal page because its got an M rating... and I well deserved one I think... You have to reset the little search thing in the corner. Also guys due to my cronic indecision, maniac plot bunnies and you guys... no offense. This story will in fact have two endings a Gibbs/Tony one and an Ari/Tony one. I have idea how I'll post these yet since the story won't split for a few more chapters, I'll be sure to label each for you'll though. Cheers...  
**

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

_**Wiggle Room**_

_I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?_

_Bill Watterson_

* * *

"So Tony what'd you get up to last night?" Kate asked false cheer inlaid into her voice. Something was off she could feel it. Hell she could see it. Tony had been quiet all morning. No cheesy jokes, no probie baiting, earlier Kate had even mentioned a new boyfriend. Not a bite. 

More off putting was that Gibbs was acting weird too. More like himself, this at least was a refreshing change from Tony's invasion of the pod-people impersonation. The downside was that Gibbs was… more like himself. Mainlining coffee and terrorising both her and McGee… oddly enough not Tony though, him he was ignoring.

Even an idiot, which Kate was not, could've worked out that there was something off-kilter with them. She could only guess as to what had happened and so far nothing was sticking.

Worst of all was that McGee had jumped ship on her, going to 'help' Abbey in the lab.

-.-.-

Great one DiNozzo. Tony scolded himself; he and Gibbs were back to that weird place again. He guessed that kind of happened when you made a pass out your boss. Your male, ex-naval boss.

Once again Tony felt more stupid than hurt. Because Gibbs was right, it was just a bad idea all round. Gibbs had rules about it, NCIS had rules written in capitals about it and Tony was starting to think that he needed his own set as well.

Rule number one: Getting drunk and hitting on your boss, male or female, is never an option. Tony mused as he looked over his scene sketches.

Rule number two: No looking through Kate's drawer while she goes to the bathroom, because she pees faster than anyone on the planet, catches you in the act and then tells all the MTAC girls that you like to wear women's underwear… Tony doubted that that should really be number two; it was definitely getting put in there somewhere though.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

**_How was the hangover?_**

Tony sighed as the message screen popped open. If I throw a stick will you leave? He typed, leaning back to wait for a response.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Possibly, I'd bring it right back though.**_

How's your back? Tony shouldn't be encouraging him. But he's not quite sure how to handle this, he wonders what NCIS policy is on being hit by Mossad agents. Actually just being pursued at all is rather strange, since usually it's his gig.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Better, thankyou.**_

Is there a point to this, I'm busy. Because that had ended the conversation last time.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Do you have plans for Saturday?**_

Quite a different result this time and Tony's hands are motionless on the keyboard. I'm not free. Tony eventually types after deleting a no and then a yes…

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Really?**_

Tony can just feel the smug teasing on the word.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**No, you're free.**_

Not for you, not ever. Tony decided that he owed the other even less than simple civil courtesy

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Come out with me.**_

Tony rolled his eyes. No… he typed.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Please?**_

_**I'll behave.**_

_**And leave my gun at home.**_

Tony sighed still stuck on what to do about Mossad agent. He couldn't exactly file a harassment report. He caught sight of Fornell heading towards the elevator, well they were the ones who'd let him out of the country.

"Afternoon Agent DiNozzo." The FBI director greeted as Tony stepped in through the closing doors.

"Afternoon, director, I was actually wanting to talk to you about Ari Haswari." Tony started trying to work out what he should tell the other. Curiously enough Fornell hit the emergency stop.

"Now listen son, what happened between you and Ari Haswari, the… violence… so to speak, was decided by the higher ups. It had nothing to do with me… or anyone else around here." Tony frowned at him.

"Excuse me Sir?"

"I know it seems like a raw deal… But it was just a field study, something about agent responses and report accuracy… Don't take it personally." He said restarting the elevator.

Tony stood in stunned silence for a moment.

"The threats to… He was ordered to do that by someone here."

"You didn't know that… Oh… Well my previous observation stands at any rate… It was just business, so don't take it too seriously." He said as the lift doors slid open, Tony watched him leave in stunned silence.

"No of course not…" He mumbled as the doors closed, leaning against the wall.

Tony shook his head, right nothing personal because the PTB's screw everyone over, their own people included. He hit the button for Abbey's lab, deciding that he was going to have to put her up for sainthood, considering how patiently she sat and listened to him whine hour after hour.

The doors opened on the lab and Tony mouth dropped open, body staying firmly frozen inside the doors. Tony flinched away and hit the close button, a sick feeling clawing at his stomach. The door shut on Gibbs and Abbey lip locked and Tony fell back against the wall once more, shoulders slumped.

Gibbs and Abbey, well Jesus now that made sense. So much for fucking rule 12. Tony pinched his nose feeling a headache starting to form.

He stumbled out into the bullpen, kicking his waist paper basket behind his desk in a childish temper tantrum.

Really he only had himself to blame for this one. Because it wasn't any of his business what Gibbs did or who he did it with. He hadn't led Tony on; actually Tony seriously doubted that he'd know how. No wonder Abbey had laughed at him for hitting on Gibbs.

Tony leaned back in his chair, nose still pinched and tried to stamp out the streak of jealously he was feeling. However deciding that Gibbs and Abbey would probably be good for each other and that since it made them happy, then he was happy for them. Was monumentally easier than actually feeling that way.

He was angrier at himself then them. Because Gibbs had told him no, it wasn't his fault that Tony couldn't get around that, mainly because he'd thought it had something to do with those stupid rules.

"Idiot." He breathed pushing the computer mouse, screensaver flickering off.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Come out with me please?**_

Of course, he would have a stalker… Why? Tony writes.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Because I enjoy your company and I promise no bad movies, over done restaurants, that kind of thing.**_

So what did you have in mind? Tony knows he shouldn't encourage it.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Dirt biking.**_

Tony stifles a smirk. I hate it, can't ride. He informs playing devil's advocate.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Come watch then. Food's good and there's lots of women, in disgracefully tiny clothes… You'll love it and you can watch me fall on my ass.**_

You don't strike me as the type to fall on your ass very much. Tony bit back a snort, because he should not be flirting with Mossad agents, even if Gibbs was down in the lab snogging Abbey.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**I'm not. But maybe if you're there I'll have the right motivation.**_

Look I'd be a rotten date.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**I have low expectations, besides I doubt it… Wait was that a yes.**_

No.

_**Berretta9mm says:**_

_**Is it no then?**_

No… Tony winced as he sent it. Shouldn't be flirting with Mossad agents, shouldn't flirting with any agents… Especially undercover ones who shoot lab assistants and kidnap you. He berated.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Lo all sorry about the wait I blame writer's block and computer problems... I had 67 spyware things on my computer cos some git turned the antivirus off... Anyway... Thankyou to adrian as per usual and Larura-trekkie & MC you guys are all fantastic. Thankyou also to Jedi-Bant, yay-i, Aemie, HarleyD & The Swordsman. Thankyou to whoever else bothered to stop by. Hopefully the next chapter will be longer. Also guys I'm currently in the process of writing the first issue of my new magazine. Kind of just a weird expriment really. Its hopeful going to be like a slash writers resource. As such I have not found a place to archive it yet... I'm considering LJ but... till then, it's a PDF file and if anyones interested... just leave a message and an address and I'll email it to you. First one should be done mid january...  
Cheers...  
**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

_**Very Bad Things**_

_Sometimes you meet somebody and you know that whatever you did before, it must have been right... nothing could've been too bad or gone too wrong because it led you to this person._

The smell of chocolate was the first thing to wind through his senses. Tony snuffled quietly, hand going to swipe over his inching nose. He rolled over, eyes cracking to check the time on his glowing alarm clock. He groaned, burying his face in the elbow, it wasn't right waking up at 5.45 on his day off. Sleep started to pull him back into warm oblivion once more and that chocolate smell wafted back in. Hot chocolate, with a disgusting amount of melted marshmallow, Tony groaned a rolled over, eyes opening lazily once more. He looked at the travel cup sitting on his beside table wondering if his craving really was bad enough to have turned into a full blown hallucination.

Tony reached up for the cup, it was solid and warm, and he wished for it not to be, because it meant someone was in his house, had been in his room a moment ago… _and was currently cooking in his kitchen?_ There was the sound of running water, taps being turned on and off and then clanging, saucepan perhaps, soft footfalls and then silence. His stomach voiced its position on all this when he caught the smell of frying beacon. Clearly it didn't care who was doing the cooking.

Tony was somewhere between curious and cautious, no one had a key to his apartment, so someone had broken in… and was now making breakfast. Tony could only come up with one name. Since the Mossad agent had being trying to convince him to go out yesterday it seemed likely.

Tony sure as hell hadn't been expecting it though, their conversation ending abruptly with Tony's not quite refusing, not quite excepting answers. Music started to play in the lounge, something operatic, probably the CD Abbey had given him last year. A baritone voice crooning 'Ave Maria' drifted up the hall and Tony finally pulled himself out of bed. He picked up the cup and his gun resting next to it and padded down the hall.

"Hm, not an encouraging expression." Ari said lightly, as Tony stepped into the kitchen, 9 mm in hand, loaded, safety off, just in case.

"Stop breaking into my house." Tony orders.

"I didn't break anything." Ari smirks, most of his attention on the browning beacon.

"Are you planning on shooting me?" He questioned lightly.

"I really haven't decided yet!" Tony threatened as he flipped the safety back on.

"Well you should probably keep that in hand then." Ari says teasingly as Tony drops the gun onto the counter.

"Don't tempt me." It was an idle threat and they both knew it.

"What're you doing here?" Tony questioned moving around to sit at the other side of the bench, so that he's still facing the other, placing the cup on the cool surface. He toyed with it idly, tipping it back and forth with his finger.

"We had a date remember and the idea is that you're supposed to drink that…" He said smoothly.

"I never said I'd go anywhere with you… and I'm trying to decide whether or not I should be worried about Rohypnol and the like." Tony bit back sweetly.

"Worried about your virtue An-tiony?" He said with a laugh.

"Depends, are there any tables in our future?" The shoulders stiffened a little, but the voice stayed casual.

"How do you like your eggs?" He questioned, like Tony hadn't said anything at all.

"Boiled." Tony said, as a pair were cracked into the frypan.

"I told you I only did what I had too." He said over his shoulder.

"You didn't tell me it was my side of the fence who ordered it." Tony sighed.

"Would you have believed me…"

"No." Tony admits and silence settles a little, Tony's mind running over the last few weeks.

"Mind bending isn't it… When you finally realise that you don't actually know anything about the people who are really controlling your life." A plate is dropped down in front of him and Tony eyes it for a second before picking up the fork.

"So what's all this?" He says gesturing to the food deciding just to let it drop.

"I thought you'd be more inclined to join me, if I made sure you were fed first."

"You actually brought food to feed me with… since my cupboards were bare." Tony was swinging somewhere between flattered and frightened.

"Yes disgustingly so… Someone has explained to you before that you can in fact not live on take away?" It wasn't really a question.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Why not?" Ari asked over his shoulder, moving through Tony's lounge, thumbing through his CD's.

"Well it starts with Gibbs firing me and then killing me and then just goes further down hill from there." Tony frowned.

"He wouldn't fire you; he's far too possessive for that." Ari teased, stepping back onto the tile.

"Cute… but I'm still not going anywhere with you." Tony said around a mouthful of food.

"Sure you are…"


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hey guys... Been a while... for reasons I shall never share, I'll just say it was bad and leave it at that... Well that and I had a doctor who I'm pretty sure was the inspiration for House, smart-arsed bastard... anyway I'm back with a longer chapter as promised... Thankyou as always to Adrian, AngelEyes, nate, Laura-Trekkie, yay-i & LunaMazes... Also will anyone beat my plot bunny's into line for me? PLEASE... They are currently trying to lead me into several other involved stories involving obsure fandoms... GOD, this is what happens when you watch movie while on drugs...**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

_**Keep It Clean**_

_It's no use growing older if you only learn new ways of misbehaving yourself._

_Hector Hugh Munro_

* * *

"Oh really and why's that." Tony huffed hopping off the chair and pushing past the broad figure. He headed into the lounge to shut off the music. 

"Well… you haven't tossed me out yet." Tony sighed feeling the other behind him as he hit the stop button; he turned and found the other a respectable distance from him. He was glad not to be crowded at the moment.

"Could I toss you out?"

"Are you asking if I'd let you?"

"Yes…" Tony had no idea how to take the other and he was hoping the tight rent in his stomach was fear…

"Would you really want to?" He stepped forward removing the distance between them and Tony want to step back. To keep as much room thee as possible only he'd have to hop up onto the stereo to do it.

"I can't go anywhere with you… you shouldn't even be here now!" Gibbs was gonna kill him… well one of them.

"Can't… Not don't want to?" Tony glared as the other teased him other his choice of words.

"Can't, don't want to, won't, have no intention of, will not, should not… and am not going to… take your pick… I've got more…" Tony pushed passed him; he headed into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge.

"How about yes." The slammed the door shut.

"What is it dude… what could you possibly want with me… do you think I have beer flavoured nipples or something." Tony snapped, not really considering the words.

"Only one way too know for sure…" He teased; Tony tensed as he felt hands on his hips, one tracking up to rest lightly over his chest.

"That is never gonna happen." Tony shrugged off the arms, turning to face Ari.

"Fair enough."

"I'm not coming out with you."

"Why? Better offer?"

-.-.-

"I hate you."

"Don't be bitter."

"What it doesn't look good on me?"

"Everything looks good on you."

"If you say even me I'll-"

"Slap me."

"Deck you, flat on your arse on the pavement in front of everyone."

"I would never be so vulgar."

"Argh-huh, I guess I'll pretend to believe that." Tony snorted, standing on the street outside of his apartment. He felt foolish, stupid… and more importantly guilty and telling himself that he did precisely have anything to feel guilty about wasn't helping much. He shifting compulsively from one foot to the next, half wanting to go back inside, the other half had a soft-spot for motorcycles and was currently drooling over the white and blue cycle before him.

"Okay if my eyes aren't going on me this is the new Yamaha 450…" Tony bit his lip. 

"And you said you knew nothing about motorcycles." Ari smirked, pulling the helmet from the straight black one beside the blue.

"How… how'd you get both here… How'd you get them at all…?" Tony huffed, catching the weighty piece of gear, as Ari tossed the helmet into his hands. Tony would've poked fun at his outfit matching his ride, only with motocross that was standard fair and Tony, decked it black leather was very much in the same boat. Ari shrugged lazily, straddling the bike.

"These aren't supposed to be on the shelf for another two months." Tony rolled the helmet between his hands.

"Well then, I certainly didn't get them from off the shelf." The smirk disappeared beneath a pattern of blue and white gloss paint.

"I really am desperate." Tony grumbled quietly rolling his eyes; he dropped the helmet over his eyes, world tinting a darker shade.

If there was ever a time to consider the sanity in what he was doing though, after throwing a leg over the slim seat and staring the engine was not it. Tony had never seen his boss on a motorbike but he imagined he drive pretty much like Ari. Which was worrying considering Tony got the distinct impression he was holding back because Tony had to try'en keep up.

Apprehension rode low in his stomach as they left the city, country sprawling out in front of them. The sense of unease rose a little as the wide grass fields turned to thickening bush, the question of where the hell they were going resting heavily on his mind.

The sticky lump in his throat started as they passed the first private property sign; more alarming were the ones that followed 'Trespassers will not be welcomed.' and 'Hazardous geographical conditions ahead.' They were huge, printed metal sheets, black block letters stark on a white background. His only reassurance was that the road beneath him stayed relativity even and paved.

The brick wall loomed out of nowhere, the tan bricks almost blending with scrub, the wrought iron fence over the road though was hard to miss.

They slowed, pulling up out front, Tony's foot hitting the road to steady himself. The gate pulled open with no prompting from either of them, Tony's questions over it answered a second later when a guy stepped through the widening gap. Guards… and Tony wasn't sure weather he should worry that the place needed guards or be relieved that he wasn't armed. Probably a bit of both.

"You missed first call." The guy informed, Ari moving to flick up the dark visor.

"Who took it?" Tony followed suit with his shade, watching the two converse, having only the slightest clue on what they were talking about.

"Your Buddy Peterson, boy was he happy you weren't here… I mean what is it with you two, you get caught with his sister or somethin'?" The guy didn't look much older than Tony and yet his hair was already noticeably thinning, the light blonde colour of it hiding the sparsity slightly.

"More or less." There was the usual indolent smirk and Tony found himself grinning over it.

"Man, get your arse moving, before that smug son-of-a-bitch wins something else." The guard thumbed through the gate with a smile and headed back inside.

"You keeping up with this?" He asked over his shoulder, Tony nodded.

"Yeah, mostly." He added after a beat realising that the Ari couldn't see him.

Tony was once again expected to follow his lead as Ari pushed the visor back into place and started up the road again, bitumen twisting gently to the right just passed the gate, bamboo framing the road.

The tunnel of green was short lived, breaking into an expansive and expensive lawn dotted with rose beds. A white stucco mansion, that looked like it belonged well and truly in the Deep South. Tony pressed to the right side of the road as a car slid passed them.

Another set of guards greeted them in front of sweeping white steps and bleached pillars. The helmet was removed completely this time, Tony relieved to pull the stifling fibreglass shell from his shoulders.

"Hey Haswari, you are late my friend, Thomas won first set." The guy had long greying hair pulled back into a ponytail and was wearing along with the rest of the security what looked like simplified S.W.A.T. gear.

"So I heard…" He sighed sliding from his seat.

"Who's this?" Tony stood slowly, unsure of the company.

"James, Tony DiNozzo, Tony, James Costa… You two should get along, he was ATF for… 20 years…" Ari could see the stiff set of Tony's shoulders and tried to put him at ease.

"35… He need to be signed in?" James asked, head tilting towards Tony, Ari smirked and wondered what the reaction from the other would be, most likely nothing pleasant.

"No… How's Georgia?"

"After 8 am… she's drunk and still madly in love with you..." James frowned, Tony watching as another smug look spread briefly over Ari face.

"Give her a week she'll be over it entirely."

"Be over it right now if you'd hurry up and sleep with her." Whatever Ari thought on the subject he kept to himself.

"When's the next race…"

"45 minutes… so you can introduce Tony here to the neurotic pixie that, I work for and who is trying to get into your pants." He huffed, straight-faced. With another self indulgent expression Ari was heading up the steps, Tony hastily moving to keep stride with him.

"Madly in love and somebodies sister…?" Tony questioned, taking a few steps two at a time.

"Georgia is entirely not my fault; she fell in love with me before I ever met her…" He defended.

"And the sister?"

"Well that's not entirely true." He countered.

"Which part?" He stopped abruptly, Tony stumbling a little as he half-stepped. Ari looked him over a moment, pursing his lips.

"Thomas Peterson doesn't have any sisters…" He admitted and then resumed the gait.

"Well if he doesn't have any sisters then who'd you…" Tony paused for a second, watching the others back, realising that there was an obvious answer; he just hadn't grasped it yet.

Ari stopped on the landing, he tuned to face Tony.

"He does have a younger brother." He said matter-of-factly, as though it was merely a point of reference.

Tony shook his head and hopped up the last few steps.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Sorry about the wait guys... its been a bad couple of weeks, I was also taken for a ride by Hannibal Rising... fucking bunnies I'll axe them one day I swear. By the by about another two chapters before the story splits (and won't that be confusing for me.) I'll be posting the Tony/Ari one as a seperate story and will be writing them both at once. The Gibbs/Tony one will stay here and i'll have a title for the new one one here... sometime before its posted. To all my lovely readers hopefully your willing to bare with me and thank you to Adrian, AngelEyes, ElsaGemma, Reigning Devil, Starr Light1, Laura-trekkie and LunaMaze as per usual.  
**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

_**Curiouser And Curiouser**_

_"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice. "Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here._

_Lewis Carroll_

* * *

"Haswari- no don't come near me, I'm not speaking to you, you're late again-" She barely looked 16, the small round sweet-looking face, the bratty-punk hair cut which fell around her eyes in rainbow strands. Her dress was an airy-fairy pink prom looking thing, only it was torn and burnt in places, one sleeve removed to show off and amazing amount of cleavage. There was a large triangle taken out of the long trailing skirt showing off an indecent amount of thigh and chunky lace-up army boots. Tony felt like a perve just looking in her general direction.

"Oh wait you're already heard that you're late right, that's old, that's boring… wait what's new…" Tony noted that the not speaking thing barely lasted half a second, he watched as the wafer-thin girl draped an arm of Ari's broad shoulders, the limb slipping down to rest more comfortably around his waist, the top of her head several inches below his collarbone.

"OH, Naomi's tying the knot, again, another Parisian-pretty boy who keeps trying to slobber all over my hand-yuk and Lucas-Lucas is madly truly deeply in love with yet another one of our pool-boys. My god their pathetic, I swear I'm the only one from the deep-end of the gene pool in our family." Tony was now staring, astonished, the girl didn't seem to need breath as often as most people.

"And-and…" The tirade stopped short as she caught sight of Tony.

"OH, hey cutie." There was a dazzling smile sent his way.

"Yum who's this? Where do you fine these guys- and girls- the blonde last month was so hot. This one is so much better though. Is he single? Is he yours? Can I keep him anyway- OH does he come in Armani." She was now clinging to the front of Ari, talking up into the neck.

"Georgia- this is Anthony DiNozzo, Anthony- this is Georgia Prêt." There was a tittering giggle.

"Italian… I love the taste of nice strong Italian-wine." There was another garish laugh.

She tried to pull away from the other, Ari keeping a tight hold on her wrist and Tony was extremely grateful after he realised that she meant to latch onto him.

"Now my dear no man-handling the guests." She palmed his chest, the smile quickly turning to a playful pout.

"Fine." She said sulkily, pulling away from him and thankfully away from Tony too.

"Nope don't try'en console me now, I'm heart broken, you never let me keep anyone…" She threw over her shoulder as she disappeared into the crowd.

"She's nuts…" Tony felt it needed saying, realising that the rest of the oddly assorted guests were not far behind.

"I believe, when money's involved, the term is eccentric."

"A rose by any other name is still as frikin' loopy." He received a faintly amused looked, lips curling slightly.

"How old is she?"

"26."

"Bullshit." The smile widens a little, Ari shaking his head.

"Would I lie to you?" He said smoothly.

"Yes definitely- in a heartbeat even." Tony rambled, eyes darting about the room. There were wide tables of food set against one wall and a long bar set into the wall across a corner, a pair of bartenders working and laughing behind it, another slender guest sitting up on the high counter, skirt hitched up around shapely legs clearly flirting with the taller of the two. It vaguely reminded him of his parents parties, the scale of it at least, huge, bustling, the similarities ending rather abruptly there, the guests were considerably different from the ones who had attended the parties of his youth, though they all seemed about the same amount of crazy. There were also large trays of ice nestling bottles of mixed drinks and beer, very different from the remembered silver trays of sparling, clinking champagne glasses. Tony watched as a large man in biking leathers popped open the top on a vodka cruise and downed the contents in one go.

"What is this?" Tony finally asked; shifting through the room slowly beside Ari out onto the top platform of another large stone plateau, there were another two levels dropping to meet the ground.

"It's a party- honestly An-tiony you don't get out enough." He teased snagging an amber bottle as they past the square of ice. Tony gave a fake laugh an excepted the bottle when it was held out.

"I meant the people smartass." He glared as he twisted the top from the cool glass looking down at it dubiously.

"Well they all have three things in common their rich, their bored and their all completely- nuts… was that the word you used." They went too lean against the thick stone railing.

"Argh so you fit in well with them." Tony said still considering the bottle.

"Afraid you're going to get drunk and let me take advantage of you?" Tony took a long swallow.

"I couldn't get that smashed." He stated simply after wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Speaking of which… why me? I work with like eighty other people- there's gotta be someone more interesting there to stalk." Tony snorted taking another drink.

"You're pretty interesting An-tiony-"

"Look you say my name with an i or something and it's really annoying and even if you said to properly the only person who calls me Anthony is my father and I don't like it so cut it out- it's just Tony." He tipped more of the amber liquid into his mouth.

"Besides Tony, maybe I have an interest in virgins." Tony spluttered as the bitter fluid almost went up his nose.

"If you're trying to kill me there are easier way to do it." He glared after managing to swallow, throat now feeling raw.

"Beside Haswari there are far less attractive people around here if you really do want deep six someone." Tony watched as the shoulders stiffened noticeably.

"Thomas, shouldn't you be down getting ready." Thomas… that explains it. Tony thought rolling his eyes and downing more drink.

"Shouldn't you?" There was that edge of forced civility to their voices that made everything sound like an insult.

"Heading down that way in a few minutes." Ari sighed.

"Argh, well I'm sitting this one out, save an old man like you from dying of embarrassment because you lost every race to me." He quipped.

"Lose to you- well there's a first time for everything I suppose."

"You'd better get moving- I'll keep Tony here company." Tony shook his head at the display, just like his parents arguing over him and ignoring him completely at the same time.

"I don't know he might be disappointed with such a poor substitute."

"Am I supposed to be timing this pissing contest or something?" Tony finally cut in.

"Or are you two happy just to go at it." They both paused to stare at him, each seeming almost a little embarrassed.

"I need to go check in… I should only take about half an hour." He explained to Tony, and then started off through the crowd.

"I'm sure he'll be waiting with bated breath." Thomas called after the retreating figure. Tony rolled his eyes again finishing the bottle; only he could manage to trade one idiot for another.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Sorry guys I JUST SWAMPED- argh. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed and encourage it's been one of those months I swear to god.**

**Chapter Thirty**

_**Drawn In**_

_Trying to make someone fall in love with you is about as pointless as trying to control who you fall in love with._

* * *

"So, what's someone as fine as yourself-" Tony was really hoping he would finish teasing Ari and leave- apparently he wasn't that lucky. 

"Doing with a mentally deficient simpleton like Haswari." After disappearing for a brief moment Thomas came back with a bad pick-up line and a pair of condensation laced bottles, clear glass framing ruby red liquid.

"I'm not with him-" Tony said, taking a bottle as it was offered, feeling a twinge of annoyance, unsure of exactly why.

"So you're smarter than you look." It was said with a friendly enough smile and Tony couldn't decide whether he was being hit on clumsily or politely insulted.

"Thanks." He said quickly, voice undercut by the sharp revving of motors.

"You can see from the end there." Jason led Tony to the crowded rail, people leaning over the edge of the terrace.

The track was standard, the looping dirt tracks stark against an otherwise attractive and flowery landscape, dirt and mud kicked asunder by tyres. Tony watching as the first jump was cleared, blue motorcycle tilting to an awkward angle as it landed-and slid out from beneath the rider.

"Was that Haswari?" Thomas asked and Tony leaned forward a little on the rail, unsure, whoever it was managed to pull themselves out of the dirt, holding their arm against their chest.

"He usually doesn't go down that easy- at least not on a motorbike." Tony relaxed his grip of the stone banister annoyed with the idiot to his left and his own concern over the Mossad agent- hadn't he come here on the pretence he'd get to see the other injured. Okay so maybe it had been a joke, but concern for the man who'd held him hostage twice was not healthy- actually, it was about two steps shy of having to make therapist appointments.

"I am pretty easy I suppose." An arm slid around his waist as a hot breath landed on his neck, Tony jerked back from the rail, startled.

"I have lax standards." Ari said with an easy smile.

"What are you doing up here?"

"Trying to decided whether or not you'd hurt me if I slid my hand any lower." He teased, Tony battling away the arm on his waist.

"I meant why aren't you- out there." He said with a flippant wave towards the track.

"Oh- that, well something unfortunate happened to my fuel tank." It was the nasty glare over his shoulder that made Tony think, unfortunate and accidental didn't go hand in hand in this particular case.

"That's too bad." Tony felt Thomas brush passed him, his hand patting against Ari's shoulder briefly, sarcastic grin plastered across his face.

"Accidents will happen though." He said smugly, disappearing into the milling crowd and Tony couldn't help but grin.

"Shouldn't've slept with his brother." Tony offered and was met by a warm look rather than an annoyed stare.

"What?"

"You look pretty when you smile." Tony felt his face grow hot and was frustrated that it was from some weak endearment.

"You can't use cheap flattery on me- it won't work."

"Sure it will." Ari said turning on his heel and slipping off through the crowd, Tony tailing behind.

"You're an arrogant self-assured bastard." Tony accused as he caught up to the other out on the front staircase, Ari pausing at the comment, starting back up the few stairs between them.

"You're rampantly insecure and you try to hide it by being crass and inappropriate…" He said smoothly and there was an unbearable second where he simply looked at Tony. The gaze made him want to squirm, not an entirely new feeling, Gibbs did it to him all the time, not the same shade, but their eyes held a similar perceptiveness.

"And it wasn't cheap flattery- you're pretty when you smile- it's just plain fact." Tony watched him step heavily down the stone stairs- guys who had greeted them tossing him his helmet.

"What are we doing?" Tony managed with a thick swallow, concentrating on not tripping over his own feet down the stairs, heavy black helmet dropped into his hands as well.

"I promised I'd fall on my arse and the estate has some excellent forest tracks."

"I think I'm more likely to break my neck then you are to fall on your arse… and aren't you down a bike?" Tony grumbled.

"I borrowed one." Sure enough, there was a bright red one resting beside Tony's now.

"Borrowing implies asking."

"Are you suggesting I stole it?"

"I'm suggesting that nothing would surprise me with you."

-.-.-

Ari smirked as Tony gave a whining little protest- no words, just a small sound in his throat.

"I hate you." He said voice toned into a prefect pout.

"Oh it's just a scrape." Ari's fingers were warm and steady against Tony's palm, holding the other still as his arm twitched at the burn of antiseptic.

It was just embarrassing was what it was, making it through the ride just to trip up the stairs after, the fact that Kate and McGee weren't there for it a small consolation. Tony had managed to remove several layers of skin from elbow to wrist and although it probably wouldn't kill him, it still hurt like a son of a bitch and worse the bastard was grinning, pursing his lips, and trying not to laugh.

"You know if this gets infected and I die you'll feel really bad for laughing at me." Tony threatened.

"I think you're more likely to die of a bruised ego." Ari teased as he moved to bandage the wound. Tony glared, but refused to dignify the taunt by commenting, his eyes skating about the room instead- it's a small sitting room somewhere off the main hall- its quiet, just the two of them and Tony shifts in discomfort at how the dark plush furnishings reminding him of his parents- his dead mother and a father he barely spoke to.

Ari watched the gaze wander, looking but not really seeing at all and wondered what exactly it was that made his eyes seem glassy and lost. He clipped the white gauze and stroked the others hand gently, Tony still looking away from him.

"I think this may have just been a clever ploy to hold hands with me." He looked at him then, face a little blank- as if he hadn't heard what had been said.

"Very funny." Tony finally managed having realised what he was being accused of; he pulled his hand from Ari's, the Mossad officer grinning wildly at the huffy attitude.

"Come on- I'll take you home." Tony ignored the hand as the other stood, hoisting himself out of the chair, wrist twinging when he put weight on it, he winced and flexed it gingerly.

"I doubt it's broken- but it is easy to splinter the radial bone so if it is still stiff tomorrow afternoon or if it swells excessively you should have it looked at by another doctor." Ari explained as they trekked through the crowded hall, party looking like it was only just starting rather than winding down. The most notable change being that the people were wearing less- a lot less, Tony pausing to watch the progress of a couple across the floor, both tall blonde and tanned. He looked back to find Ari standing, watching him almost casually.

"I think the after hour gatherings would- be a little bit much for you." The next person to cross his path had at least a dozen piercings above their waist.

"I'm inclined to agree with that." Tony sighed moving to walk in step with Ari, recent sunset painting the sky a vivid shade of red along the tree line.

"You will have to ride with me, so you do not do anymore damage to your wrist."

"And that wouldn't just be a ploy to get me to hold you right." Tony ribbed, despite the odd day, the injury, and the company, Tony for once didn't feel completely miserable outside of work.

"Do I need a ploy for that?" An arm snaked casually around his waist, Ari pulling Tony against his hip.

"Cute, very cute." Tony suddenly had a vague impression of the exasperation that he must cause Kate on a daily basis. His hand went up to the others chest to push him away and there was a bright flash of light, Tony jumping as his eyes pivoted to settle on Georgia, who was clutching an old instant camera, shot of them already developing in her hand.

"You know they have a fantastic thing called digital these days." Ari said, hand dropping from Tony's waist.

"Yuk- I'd rather chew my own tongue off." She chirped, looking over the picture before smiling wider and showing it to them both.

"Pictures worth a thousand words… Oh and you two look so pretty together- here keep it." She handed it to Tony, who may have blushed just a little before shoving the into his jacket pocket.

"Are you going now?" She pouted to Ari, bottom lip out- going the whole nine yards to look like an offended 13-year-old.

"Are you coming back next weekend?"

-.-.-

"Well mangled limbs aside- I hope I was worth your time." Ari asks carefully as Tony's slides off of the motorbike, night air cool around them and Ari's hand moves to steady him as he steps onto the sidewalk, the Mossad agent following a moment later.

"You were- it was fun- it was." Tony crosses his arms, back on his own street, back to reality it seems and suddenly being there with him feels awkward. Maybe it's because he did enjoy it, the party, the odd collection of people, and the smooth fast ride along side Ari. On the other hand, maybe it's uncomfortable because he's spent the last hour curled against the other's back, feeling the heat there, the slow steady breaths.

"Any chance of you meeting me again tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow um-" He wants to, wants to say yes and not worry about what this is or where the hell it's going and cannot work out why the hell that is. He's had a bit to drink today- a few more after their ride then before, but surely, that wouldn't still be making him act weird.

"I have work tomorrow." True but really, he's just avoiding the question.

"Dinner then."

"Hours with Gibbs are usually… can you wait until after lunch tomorrow for an answer." He's flipped- that's the only explanation for why he's actually choosing to date the guy who kidnapped him.

"Yes." There's a self-conscious pause for a second or two then and Tony cannot quite get what it is that he's expecting.

"Goodnight."

"Night." He says quickly, feeling eyes on his back as he turns and moves quickly up the stairs to the front door of his apartment building.

It's after he's made his way upstairs and is letting himself into his apartment that he realises with a shock that he may have been waiting to be kissed. It's an impulsive thought that Tony immediately tosses it aside. No way, no way he was going that girly just because he'd started to consider men as a vague possibility in terms of sex and… whatever the hell else that was supposed to go with it that women always seemed to want and he needed the cliff notes on to get. Tony didn't want to contemplate it too deeply for the moment, showering instead before milling about for a while then heading to bed.

-.-.-

"Morning Sir." Bumping into Fornell in the NCIS lift twice in one month was a bit of a rarity.

"Just the man I came here too see- thought I was going too leave disappointed though since you weren't already upstairs." He paused the lift and Tony looked at him in worry.

"What do you wanna see me for?" Tony said cautiously- since if wouldn't be the first time he'd tried to pick information about a case from one of the team- last time though it had been Kate.

"I have a rather- interesting proposal for you."

"Well I'm sorry Sir- I'm flattered but you're not exactly my type." Tony said fluttering his lashes.

"It's a job offer Agent Smartarse." He grumbles and somehow it's harder to digest then that other hitting on would have been.

"Job offer?"

"Yes- I've very graciously accepted the director's desk at the FBI- this however leaves me with the quandary that is the filling of my own shoes."

"Oh no way am I stepping on anyone's toes- you use someone from your own department." Tony snaps thinking that the last thing he would need on a new job is having to deal with screwing someone out of something they felt entitled too.

"Believe me I would if I could- but I have six agents working under me- four are almost brand new out of the academy their competent, but their not ready to lead a department. Another is a temp replacement for Ron Sacks- who's not going to be in any working shape for at least another 6 months, which leaves me with Sally Field- who is two weeks away from going on Maternity leave. I have no one fit to lead a department long-term."

"But you think I'm fit." The disbelief was prominent in Tony's voice.

"Your director seems to think so and I'm inclined to agree- with a little work… you wouldn't be on your own from the get go- there's a month before my director retires. Time enough for you to get your footing."

"Does Gibbs know your trying to poach his agents?" The FBI Senior agent snorted and flicked the emergency brake off.

"I spoke to your director- what he chooses to tell Gibbs is his own business- if I were you agent DiNozzo I'd be more worried about considering my career." He said seriously as the doors slid open on the bullpen.

"Sure." Tony said blandly as he stepped from the elevator- not looking back at Fornell.

There wasn't exactly much to consider though, Tony didn't think he was FBI material, even if other people did and besides Gibbs would choke him, had come close the last time Tony had talked about leaving.

"Tony." Kate said voice thick with frustration as she frantically stacked folders together, while McGee was juggling his cell in one hand and his desk phone in the other, suddenly aware of people scuttling everywhere Tony looked at Kate in question.

"We had a pair of triple homicides yesterday and on top of that- a pipe burst somewhere in the hall, flooded three interrogation rooms and the evidence locker beneath them." She huffed.

"And Gibb's is looking to tear someone's head off- hopefully today it'll be yours."

"What, why me-" Tony all but yelped, dumping his bag behind his desk.

"Well because we spent all yesterday copping it because to top everything else off no one could reach you all day long." She snapped and Tony fished about his pockets frantically for his phone, the screen noting 37 missed calls when he checked.

"Oh- I was off yesterday- I must have put my phone on silent- I didn't…" The fact that Kate dropped back into her chair and dipped her head was a fair indicator and yet after working with the man for long enough. Tony though was beginning to develop a sense of when the man was lurking behind him.

"Hiya Boss." Tony ventured as he turned to face his superior, giving a weak smile that died prematurely at Gibbs' dark look, it was worse than when Kate had spilled his coffee or at least looked that way.

"Hi Tony." Tony wasn't sure how to take the greeting, when Gibbs was angry there was shouting and slapping and generally, he was referred to by last name not first.

"Boss-" The glare gave the impression that excuses were not welcome, but hey, Tony would give it a shot anyhow.

"I put my phone on silent yesterday- I wasn't thinking…" He let the sentence go unfinished when Gibbs started to nod.

"So, on a scale of say one to ten roughly how much trouble am I in." He ventured again, squirming at the other's silence, relieved when Gibbs finally looked away from him.

"We're going back out to look over the first crime scene again." Was all it took to send Kate and McGee scuttling for their stuff. Tony stepped back to retrieve his bag, startled when Gibbs shoved him into his chair.

"I'm not going?" He said tentatively, question answered when Gibbs started after McGee and Kate without a word.

"Boss what am my meant to do all day?"

"Cleaning crew needs help with evidence lock-up." Tony caught the sentence just before the lift door slid shut on Gibbs' back.

* * *

**Important!: Okay guys, this is it, I know we've had some really good- oh fuck it I'm too tired for jokes, this is where the story splits. I will be posting the Gibbs/Tony one here... and the Tony/Ari one as a different story, details will be posted in the next chapter I post here and the first cvhapter of the Tony/Ari one will be posted same time. Shalom, duckies.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Yes I'm terrible- I'll feel guilty when have the time- serious guys its been one of those years... I hope this is worth the weight... to all my reviewers and readers thankyou so much for reviewing and baring with me. By the by the other end it is posted now under the title Be My...  
**

**Chapter Thirty-One**

_**Over You **_

_Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses._

_Ann Landers_

* * *

"What!" 

"Do you always greet prospective boyfriends that way- if so I may have a theory about you still being single."

"So funny but I don't have perspective boyfriends and I am really not in the mood-" Tony grumped tossing aside another repacked cardboard evidence crate.

"How's your wrist?"

"Hurting like hell, I twisted it when a sodden evidence crate decided to give up the ghost and tear in half, my uninjured wrist ironically got the light part. It's not swelling or anything though and it seemed better before that." His voice had a distinct sulking tone to it, having spent the whole morning working himself up over being exiled to the 'maid's service'.

"Sodden as in annoying- or sodden as in wet?"

"Wet."

"What were you doing with a wet evidence crate?" Tony hung his head and scrubbed a hand over his face, leaning forward on the low stool he was perched on.

"You don't wanna know." He breathed into the cool bit of plastic.

"I've got time- you'll rant- I'll make inappropriate comments- then you'll feel better." Tony's lips curled with alarming ease.

"Well then, since this is technically your fault- or I'm blaming you either way- I've been banished to the evidence locker- it flooded yesterday and I'm in trouble for having my phone on silent yesterday- not answering when Gibbs called." He sighed and sat up a little straighter, elbows still resting on his knees, he watched the few people here mill about at the other end of the room. All of them smart enough to start avoiding him 3 hours ago, usually there would have been more present but 90 of them had gone on lunch together and currently there were a half dozen repacking various boxes.

"You ignored work for me I'm flattered- though you don't seem to think spending a day with me is worth spending a day cleaning- that's less encouraging."

"It's not the clean-up that's killing me- takes five minute to repack a box and then 15 to fill out all the paperwork… It's the fact that we're swamped right now, spread so thin that extra agents have been brought in and I'm- down here doing something that a monkey with a bic between his teeth could manage." He huffed.

"And ya know it's always like that- its Tony gas the truck, Tony get the bags… Tony go be a fucking body for an hour or so, so that I can ring you and get your arse tossed out onto a road. Ya know Kate never gets saddled with any of the crap… because Kate couldn't possibly do any of those things it would be waste of all her precious talents. And you know what- it pisses me off but not half as much as double standard- Kate completely disregards policy and takes home a nutcase and she gets a comforting pat on the back- I almost get my head taken off and it's not a good idea. Which ya know surprise, surprise there's no rule 12 where Abbey's concerned its just-" Tony cuts himself off scrubbing a hand over his face again, wondering what the hell his problem is lately, there was silence on the other end and Tony blushed deeper.

"Monkey with a bic between its teeth?" Tony grins and shakes his head, thinks of all the shit the other could have given him for the outburst- thinks of all the questions he must have and just doesn't ask and Tony's so grateful for that right now.

"Okay that may have been an over-exaggeration- but its pretty damn close-"

"You could experiment and see."

"Monkey with a pen between its teeth in the NCIS evidence locker because of me- oh that of course would end well." There's thick laughter from the phone and it widens Tony's grin- he hadn't heard the other laugh earnestly up until now.

"Weren't you supposed to be asking me to dinner." He points out after a moment of silence.

"Was that a yes?"

"You haven't asked me anything yet."

"Micelle's 8.30, would you please join me." Tony licks his lips nervously at the deep quality of Ari's voice.

"My favourite restaurant, not a coincidence- is it."

"No." Maybe that should frighten him; maybe what it should do is pointless, maybe the fact that it excites him is the only thing that matters.

"I'm really, really busy but- I might drop by." He teases and there a long pause, where his stomach twists a little.

"Good." He says and hangs up without saying goodbye, which doesn't annoy Tony at all- he clips the phone close with an idiot grin covering his face and warm cheeks, feeling a little less violent toward the boxes at his feet, he sighed and finished scrawling through the paperwork, and tossed it aside with the ever growing pile.

32 minutes, 2 boxes and 42 sheets of paper later and Tony shifted uncomfortably for second before realising it was because he felt eyes on him. Tony gave one last nervous suck on the pen he was currently chewing in boredom, before standing and turning to face his boss, deciding that Gibbs intimidated him sufficiently without towering over him as an added advantage.

"Boss." He said cursorily, setting the stack of papers, he'd been scribbling across on the seat he'd just vacated; fidgeting for a second after; Tony eventually linked his hands behind his back and finally looked towards his Boss, waiting.

When no reprimand was forthcoming, he squirmed, trying to guess at what was going to happen. Gibbs looked calm enough but then again Tony's beginning to think that that doesn't mean very much- he's side arm is gone, probably stowed in his desk and Tony doesn't care how unlikely it is that his Boss would actually shoot him- the fact that he can't is still reassuring. Tony shifts from foot to foot, avoids meeting the piecing blue gaze by studying the coffee cup in his hand, the paper bag in the other, which smells suspiciously of chicken pasta- finds its presence strange somehow.

"Look Boss just say it- tell me I was stupid, that your second rule three is there for a really good reason- that I stuffed up and inconvenienced everyone by taking the day off, tell me- so then we can both get back to work." Maybe he has a death wish, because he can't quite keep the condescending edge from his voice, which clearly shows that he is far from feeling contrite and Gibbs is far too preceptive to miss it.

It's not that he thinks he's done nothing wrong- but it was his rostered day off, he shouldn't have to just be available for his Boss anytime he wants… then again, maybe he does think that he hasn't done anything wrong and doesn't wanna admit it because he knows Gibbs thinks otherwise.

He sets aside the cup and the bag, placing them both on top of Tony's paperwork, moves around the various pieces that stand between them, scrapes of murky cardboard, and the stacked boxes that can't be reshelved just yet. Tony stays still, not particularly bothered, they've done this song and dance before, he'd be smacked, shouted at and then they'd both go back to work. Sure enough, the minute Gibbs is close enough his head is cuffed and its nothing spectacular, Tony moves to speak and his voice falters as Gibbs' large hand lands solidly a second time, more force behind it now and Tony jerks as the edge of his palm catches his ear causing a nasty sting.

"God Boss what'd'ya do that for." He mumbled rubbing the abused appendage, stumbling away from him, going to lean against the rough cement wall, scowling, fingers still toying with his throbbing ear.

"You disappear for over 24 hours and you think I'm like this because it was an inconvenience." Tony stiffens arms going to wrap around his chest as hands are placed over his shoulders, arms bracing themselves around him and he can feel the heat pouring off Gibbs' body. It takes another moment for Tony to swallow and actually look at him. His jaw is set, clearly clenched in frustration, mouth set in a thin line as well, and his eyes were a vivid, violent shade of blue.

"Well I did until you said that." He mumbled listlessly, eyes dropping to the buttons dotting Gibbs' shirt.

"You think I can't run this place without you?" Tony opened his mouth to deny it, but made the mistake of actually pausing to contemplate it for a second. His head was patted again; back the normal gentle but firm touch and it actually settled him despite everything else.

"Well it would be nice if you actually-" He's just giving cheek now and when the hand brushes his head he knows he wanted it- worked for it even. This is the only intimate gesture he will ever have from him and as pathetic as it is- he wants it, wants to take childish glee in the fact that neither Kate nor McGee receive this kind of attention. His stomach sinks and he sighs, realising how truly pathetic it is… He's lovesick; love starved too quite probably, considering how badly he's craving such negative contact- and with his boss no less, who's told him no- who's dating a friend.

"I thought I was going to be called out to pick up your body." The sentence shocks him and it must show on his face because the glare softens a little.

"Boss- little extreme-" He wants to make it seem like an over-reaction because then maybe it won't be his fault.

"How many times have you been kidnapped it the last year- held hostage- put in the hospital…" All excellent points… and Tony squirms against the wall, flinches when Gibbs' hand comes up again- but there's no slap this time, fingers rub lightly of his reddened ear, before sinking into his hair, sliding back down to cup his cheek.

"We had two crime scenes and six victims to investigate- you weren't answering your phone- your mobile was at your apartment but you weren't…" Shocked again, Tony's eyes flickered up from his shirt, unable to meet his gaze now more than ever. Had he actually been stupid enough to leave his phone at home as well as on silent? Now, giving it some actual thought he couldn't remember pocketing it yesterday morning, it had been on the counter this morning with all the other stuff he'd dumped out of his pockets last night, the picture of him and Ari resting on top of it- but had he actually put it there… Gibbs had obviously run a trace on his phone so he mustn't have.

"I couldn't spare anyone to check up on you-"

"You were worried about me." He mumbled, shame rushing up to stain his cheeks a lovely shade of red, he'd been out messing around all day while Gibbs had been here working himself up with what the hell had happened to him. Suddenly why Gibbs was so pissed was abundantly clear, as was the fact hat he deserved to be down here- maybe for the rest of his career, since he couldn't even remember to take his phone with him.

"Damn right- now don't do it again." His voice is hard- but his eyes aren't, the shade betrays the relief he feels at having Tony here in one piece. Guilt claws at his stomach and he realises what an idiot he's been. He's betrayed his Boss's trust- there was no other way to spin it- he'd betrayed all of them and his stomach clenches when he wonders what Gibbs would be doing right now if he really knew who Tony had spent yesterday with.

"It really was a mistake Boss- I would never do anything like that to you intentionally." He mumbles, trying to work out what the hell's been wrong with him, how the hell had he ever thought that seeing Ari was an expectable thing.

"Don't do it again." The tone clearly promises that bad things will happen to him if he does- though the gentle hand on his cheek undermines it. There was a second's pause and Tony has to remind himself that Gibbs has something going on with Abbey- Abbey's a friend and he won't sink that low. The moment passes and Gibbs pats his face lightly.

"Hurry up with lunch- need you upstairs." Tony watched as Gibbs turned on his heel and headed for the elevator, swiping his coffee as he went passed.

"Hey Boss, you left-"

"It's yours Tony." He brought him lunch. Tony watched Gibbs' back disappear once more- this time with a warm sense of longing tugging at his gut.

-.-.-

Tony downed another glass of rum, sighing as warmth spread through his stomach and the fumes flooded his nose- he was in the beginnings of a nice alcohol induced haze, not quite yet rid of his various miseries.

It occurs to him after his fourth glass that essentially he brings it on himself- Gibbs is right he acts and then broods over what a bad choice it was- rather than thinking in the first place and saving himself the heartache. He wants what he can't have- let's himself have what he shouldn't.

"8.15 and you've already worked your way through half the bar- it's not particularly promising-" Even drunk Tony winces at the voice the way it seems to insinuate so many things with the dark, rich, accented tone.

"I have not worked my way through half the bar." Voice harsh from guilt.

"A bottle of rum then- still not so promising." Tony makes himself look at Ari then and hates what he sees- the brown eyes warm, calm, and knowing.

"Don't worry about it." He says, moving to lean against the bar beside Tony, orders an on the rocks scotch and sips slowly, Tony starting on another glass of rum- pace slowing a little.

"Don't worry about it?" Tony questions with trepidation.

"You came here to tell me that-" He pauses for second, spinning the ice in his glass.

"You're flattered, you like me, and you don't want to see me anymore." He says taking a drink and his voice is equal parts bitter and amused and Tony's eyes drop to his own drink since that's pretty much, what he was going to say.

"I can't- see you anymore." He breathes, taking a drink, feeling at odds with the whole thing.

"You don't want- to see me anymore." Ari said putting the same emphasis on the words Tony had, thought managing still not to sound entirely bitter. Tony sighed and looked at him in doubt, realising that alcohol was not making this any easier- hampered thought in hindsight probably not a desirable state at the moment.

"There's nothing actually stopping you from seeing me- you just don't like what it may cost you." Tony squirms and realises that he's a coward- he hates doing this, tries to avoid this awkward place at all costs. Even now with a perfectly reasonable person standing in front of him he still can't face… anything, his first and only instinct is to run.

"I do really like you." He eventually says and winces at how lame it sounds.

"I know you do- otherwise I doubt you would… be here downing spirits like water and fighting to meet my eyes. If you felt nothing you would have already moved to flirting with the bartender." His eyes flicked briefly from Tony to over his shoulder, a small leer spread and they moved back to Tony.

"She's almost falling out of her top you know." He baited. Tony had already noticed- but was too distracted to enjoy the view- hadn't even looked when she'd leaned over before to retrieve his glass.

"You're not angry?" Tony said after a pause, wondering how he should feel about Ari's apparent lack of interest in what was happening- fair really considering all the women he'd done the same thing to over the years.

"I am- disappointed but I am not particularly surprised. You like me, but you place a greater value on Agent Gibbs' respect." Again he should hate that he knows that much about him- that Ari seems to read him so easily, but he doesn't, finds it refreshing how little bullshit there is between them even when the others stock-in-trade is subterfuge.

"Yeah." He says regretfully, the sense that things are drawing to a close hanging over his head.

"Love too I think." Ari baits and watches to see if he's right.

Tony frowned as he swallowed another mouthful.

"Gibbs, in my more useful moments respects me- that's pretty much it." He says authoritatively and isn't shocked when Ari clearly looks at him in disbelief, because he doesn't truly believe it himself, if he did then he wouldn't be doing this right now. There's something there that his Boss doesn't seem willing to acknowledge and maybe he shouldn't either. He can't really define what it is between them aptly and certainly doesn't want to try with Ari of all people.

-.-.-

Gibbs sat at his desk, rocking idly in his chair; tapping a pen against his desk- indecision wasn't generally a temperament he suffered. Wasn't truly suffering from it now, he could grasp perfectly, what he had to do and why. It was all incredibly obvious after today; he and Tony couldn't share a team- unfortunately that didn't make doing it any easier.

He sighed audibly before scrubbing a hand over his face and moving to sit forward in his chair. Gibbs scrawled his signature across the bottom of the transfer papers roughly before flipping the manila folder closed; he tossed it onto the top of the day's cumulated reports.

-.-.-

The night air was still cool- crisp and Tony found it felt strange to be walked home considering the circumstances– hell maybe just in general; it wasn't like he had any basis for comparison.

It didn't so much feel awkward as- just weird; Tony's stomach grew increasingly more knotted and nasty feeling as they walked the few short blocks to his apartment and for a long time he calked it up to being a little too drunk. Wondered if throwing-up was something, he should be worried about. He didn't feel drunk though, at least not excessively so- actually he didn't even feel slightly tipsy anymore with the cool night air against his face. There was no way he was sober though.

Tony actually winced when he found himself outside of his apartment building, in what seemed like record time and he stepped up a pair of the grey concrete stairs before realising that he had to at least turn and say goodbye. He did it- turned at least and was struck by the sudden realisation that his problem didn't really have much to do with alcohol- or his stomach for that matter… he doesn't wanna say goodnight, wants to say goodbye even less.

He's had way too much to drink, even if he isn't showing it in the ways he usually does- it's simply not possible for him not to be drunk.

He looks down at Ari, standing not that far in front of him; it only seems further because of the stairs, the height difference… he's looking at something, down the street, face turned from Tony. The knotted feeling suddenly seems too obvious and maybe he just didn't want to notice it before… because it's easier if all this is just to get a rise out of Gibbs. Apparently not though and it's not exactly the first time he's screwed himself over.

Thinking these days though seems to confuse him more than ever anyway, so he gives it a miss entirely and instead takes a step down, manages to brace his hands against Ari's shoulders with little trouble and he looks at Tony in surprise. It's the part that's supposed to come after that he has trouble with, can picture what he should do, just can't- do it and it just gets harder as seconds pass, Ari just looking at him.

Ari finally moves to speak and Tony can tell it's not going to be anything encouraging and he'll loose his nerve and nothing will happen. It's- a frantic stumble, so much so that Ari's arm actually go to his waist to steady him and the fact that their lips manage to touch seems more like a streak of luck rather than any skill on Tony's part. Maybe he should be more grateful than embarrassed since he's just successfully managed to fallen onto someone's mouth without any major injuries. Ari certainly seems amused by it.

"What was that?" It takes Tony exactly three seconds to realise that explaining goes hand in hand with thinking and he's sworn that off for the moment. He focuses on remembering what he must know how to do and gives kissing another go, does significantly better since there's no more room between them to fall in.

He notes almost clinically that there's not that much different about kissing a man- stubble and the lack of lipstick or gloss are most prominent, but not much else other than that he's aware of the fact. He's also acutely aware that Ari's doing still doing nothing to encourage him, which maybe he should have been expecting, really- still though there's that disappointed feeling sinking in him and it reminds him of when he tried to kiss Gibbs.

Ari's arms tighten around his waist as Tony moves to pull away, he tilts Tony head back and deepens the kiss with an ease that frustrates Tony just a little. It turns to annoyance when Tony finds Ari tongue flicking inside of his mouth, teasing over his lips. The irritation seems to have a short shelf life though- about as long as it takes him to realise that it's easier just to lean against Ari and let himself be kissed.

-.-.-

Tony wasn't surprised by being hangover when he woke up, he hit the off button on his alarm with more force than usual- but that was more necessity that anger- he'd realised many hangovers ago that being angry just wasn't economical. Besides typical his hangovers weren't anything too drastic anyhow, the exception being two specular benders n college, both of which ha put his head over a toilet the next morning, right now though he had a headache and a fuzzy tongue and therefore not much reason to complain.

He tossed back the covers around his legs before sliding them over the edge, he groaned at a few stray aches- not stopping to question how odd it was that he had a few of them and headed for the shower.

The hot stray against his shoulders helped ease the slight pounding and Tony crossed his arms against the cool glass wall before resting his head in them- allowing himself to stand there for a few minutes before turning to fish the bar of soap out of its metal rack. Tony's actions slowed a little when his fingers curled around the white bar and he caught sight of something dark marring his wrist. He brought the wrist back up to his face, running a thumb over it, completely at a loss as to what it was- trying to scrub it off at first- then he realised.

Actually what he realised was why he was hung over in the first place and everything dominoed from there. Now that he was actually looking, there were bruises everywhere and the pain that blossomed where his fingertips touched his neck was bad enough to make him not want to check that particular body part out in the mirror.

He does though- he looks when he finishes scrubbing himself down and steps out of the shower and cannot help but think that maybe he should feel disgusted or regretful, but he just doesn't. He doesn't particularly feel anything about it- his first thought after inspecting the purpling mark on his throat is that having had sex with Ari, with another man, actually explains most of his aches. It doesn't change anything… Ari's gone, Gerald's healing steadily, Gibbs was no longer looking to keelhaul him- funny that that doesn't offer him the relief he had thought.

He dries, dresses, considers pulling on a turtleneck instead of a button-up, even if it is a little too warm for it- before realising that he'd gone into work with bruises often enough already for no one to care. He looks himself over in the bathroom mirror for a long time after that- feeling an odd sort of disassociation with his own reflection- unhealthy as that probably is though- he's still due at work soon.

Tony heads out of the bathroom, starts up the hall to retrieve his shoes, and is interrupted halfway there by a rather firm knock at the door.

"Oh-" There's another pair of too demanding knocks before he actually manages to answer it and maybe that should've given him a hint- still though on the list of people he would've expected to be outside his apartment-

"Hey Boss." Well actually, Gibbs doesn't feature at all.

"Can I come in?" Another anomaly, when did Gibbs become polite?

"Sure." Tony steps back and fiddles with his collar self consciously, wincing a moment after doing it, since not only does it not cover the bite mark it also draws attention that way too and rather unsettlingly he notes that his Boss's gaze drops for a moment.

"So- what's your neck doing in my woods at this time of morning Boss?" They end up both congregating in the kitchen and Tony finds that so long as he doesn't actually look at the man his voice remains pretty steady, unfortunately it does nothing for sounding like an idiot, funny how being suave never comes naturally for anyone when their nervous.

"I- needed to talk to you." Tony started making coffee, trying to cover the fact that he's not making eye contact with Gibbs. The tone though- makes him pause and look over his shoulder, arms stretched out over his head fishing coffee down from one of the higher cabinets. Since when did his Boss ever sound uncomfortable…

"Talk?" He sets the jar back in the cupboard when he notices the two cups already sitting on his counter. Gibbs has turned up at his apartment before 6- with coffee… to talk. When Tony actually stops to consider it all together, he realises that it probably doesn't actually mean anything good.

"Tony I-" _Oh, god he's gonna fire me!_

"Can you just hang on a sec- I need to put my shoes on." He fumbles for some random excuse and then runs like a girl.

Reason wins out over terror about ten seconds after he's shut his bedroom door and is leaning on it. _Talk about fight or flight- what the hell- you think the man's going to fire you and you run- really says a lot about the kind of man you are._

He scolds himself a few seconds longer, just too truly drive home how stupid running was… especially since he has to go back out and face Gibbs again anyway. Thankfully, he actually remembers to put his shoes on before he does.

To truly fit with the morning's theme of from weird to weirder though, when he does venture back out Gibbs is gone. Both coffees are still on the counter- so at least he was definitely there- but he's gone, no note, no goodbye, no nothing.

_What the hell?_


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: To all of my readers... if there are any left- I'm sorry about dropping off the map there, hopefully I can get back to my update a week now. To everyone who reviewed, thankyou, the encouragement is always helpfully. Also to anyone still reading, I'm sorry if this is a little flat, it's given me so much trouble and since I'm mostly happy with it, I'm going to post this and move on, before I start another 2 week re-write. Also to everyone reading Be My... another chapter shoulder be up in a day or so. **

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

_**Go Your Way In Safety**_

_I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer._

_Collette_

* * *

Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs- looked over the folder bound transfer papers in his hand and considered truly how stupid he was.

Maybe its own fault- they're his rules, his rule 12- and typically he follows them to the letter. He didn't see it coming with Tony though. Isn't sure he would've seen that coming even if he had a type in men, because he's pretty damn sure that the guys he'd be interested in wouldn't be anything like DiNozzo.

Ironically- Kate- Kate he'd considered a risk, a possibility. She's almost exactly his type and even without the red hair, he could picture himself slipping up there. So her- he's been careful to keep at arms length.

He can't even pass it off as a stupid accident, some of it, yeah; their first botched kiss, that was a big accident. Or a stupid mistake or… it doesn't even matter anymore what it is or how the hell it happened. He wants it- or had wanted it. Which was so incredibly stupid and it's bitten him in the arse already.

…_Idiot…_

-.-.-

"Hey Kate."

"Tony it's too early- I don't wanna know- not even her name." Kate said, head going back to resting in her palm, elbow on her desk, after giving him a brief glance.

"You're usually more of a morning person Kate and there's no name today- I'm just happy." He said, dropping the bad from his shoulder.

"Not today Tony and if there's no name then why do you look like you spent all night in a brothel?" Her voice was flat, tired.

"I didn't say I didn't- have a nice time last night- we went our separate ways and I am smiling because I got- some self realisation out of the experience… not another name and number for my cell." He really has, almost feels a little stupid about it- since it was just sex. It didn't kill him- didn't change who he is in any way- which sounds so over-dramatic even to him, but it is what it is- it was what he'd expected. That it didn't is just about the weirdest thing on the planet for him right now- the second being that it did change everything at the same time.

Despite how hard it is to get his head around that concept though, all and all it feels like a weight off his chest.

Tony leant down and pulled his bag back up from behind his desk remembering the fresh sets of clothes he'd brought in… he'd lost some of his favourite outfits to this job…

"Where are you doing?" Kate asks, finally dragging herself from her desk.

"Extra clothes." He explains, dumping them on top of a few sets inside the filing cabinet that don't actually belong to him, probably Gibbs- maybe McGee, since the Probie had been making himself at home ever since he'd been hired full-time.

"Tony if you'd taken to moonlighting as a model you'd tell me right." In all likelihood, she was referring to the bright blue shirt in the stack, or maybe the red silk tie.

"You work as a federal agent, last week Gibbs made us crawl through a sewer drain." She said, perking up a little bit.

"It's the same principal as smiling Kate, never frown because you never know who might be falling in love with your smile- or something like that, I don't know I forget." He said, digging a set of gym clothes out of the bottom of his bag.

"It was- something my grandmother use to say I never really got it either." He added, when he turned to find Kate staring at him with her arms crossed that familiar frown in place.

"So a few overpriced shirts have come to unfortunate ends due to me working here, my clothes still work for me Kate- you get pissed off- you pull out your sketchbook- I pull on a fresh shirt, it's how I deal, feel free to make fun of that if you want."

"I would never date a guy who fell in love with something as superficial as my smile… or my clothes." She said, rumpling her nose- heading back to her desk.

"No neither would I." Tony mumbled absently after giving it a seconds thought while he closed the filing cabinet.

"Did you just say you'd date a guy… just so long as he was interested in something besides your clothes and smile?" She's teasing, has that tone of voice.

"It's too early Kate." He waves her off- heads for the lift, gym clothes in hand, hopes to dump them in his locker and get back before Gibbs gets in- which generally he was already in by this time.

"Hey Kate-" Tony turns on his heel sharply, as an odd urge presents itself.

"You're kind of like-" Yeah probably best not to actually mention their boss, he realises at the last minute.

"What'd you actually look for in a guy?" Okay so Kate isn't actually anything like Gibbs- but he's curious and Kate is probably the best substitute he has on hand at the moment. Since he's pretty sure, asking Gibbs that would get him punched in the face.

Kate makes a doubtful sounding noise and there's that frown again- like she's been made to swallow something sour. Actually, she's probably wondering what angle he's working.

"Honesty, loyalty… a sense of humour." She struggles with the words a little and shrugs.

"I don't have a chance do I?" Because mostly he treats his dates like amusement park attractions, or so he's been told.

Kate shrugs again, struggles with words and makes a little so-so gesture with her hand.

"You have very brief moments. Then typically you open your mouth and ruin it." She answered with an almost apologetic tone.

"Oh Tony how lazy can you get." There was that distinct disgusted tone in her voice as he came back and dumped his gym clothes in the filing cabinet as well- deciding the locker room was too far at this time of morning.

"I'll take them later." He said, contemplating how unlike Kate and Gibbs actually were as he sat down behind his desk. Deciding that he didn't have the faintest clue as to whether or not that made his chances better or worse with Gibbs than they were with Kate. Before realising that, it didn't mater much either way, Gibbs was dating Abbey… or something- since the two were hardly trading spit just for laughs. They were probably a better match anyhow- which, selfishly he thought kind of sucked.

"Explain this to me." It's hardly the first time the mans crept up on him- yet it doesn't stop Tony from jumping, when Gibbs suddenly looms over his desk, tosses something down next to his computer keyboard.

Gibbs has that look on his face- that 'explain fast and make it good or else this is not going to end particularly well for you' glare that has Tony scrambling to pick up whatever the hell's been dropped onto his desk, whilst wondering frantically what he could possibly have done to piss the other off.

His first thought of course goes to Ari- but there's no way for Gibbs to know about that.

Tony's fingers closed over the- picture Gibbs had just about thrown at him and he flipped it over, looking at the coloured print. _Oh._

Right there was no way for Gibbs to know unless he'd left the man alone in a room with a photo of the two of them on the counter. He'd tossed it out of his pocket with everything else and had forgotten it was even there.

Tony stared at the snapshot for a moment, finger tracing over the surface, wondering if it had actually been worth it.

"What do you… want me to say?" He asked, looking back up at Gibbs. Expects the other to shout at him, maybe even haul him across the table given how much he hates Ari.

Tony doesn't get either, doesn't get anything. Gibbs just stares at him, actually looks hurt, which is worse. Tony would actually prefer to get punched in the face.

…_Idiot…_

-.-.-

Amusingly- he's still actually surprised- he hadn't actually believed it, or else those damn transfer papers would be in the trash already. Wanted it to be something Abbey's put together for laughs. Wanted Tony to laugh at him- hell maybe even take a swing at him for bringing it up in the middle of NCIS- not that there are a hell of a lot of people in at this time of morning, McGee hadn't even arrived yet.

But it's not a joke- Tony's face gives him away, it's always has.

"It's not how it looks Boss." Tony says weakly when he turns his back on him.

"Well- maybe it is- now." Tony sounds genuinely confused but he's hardly in the mood to coddle him.

"You're seeing him." He catches Tony's wince as he turns on his heel, standing halfway between his and Tony's desks- can feel Kate suddenly very intently staring at the both of them. Doesn't care in the slightest, doesn't care that his voice is louder than he meant it to be, a sure sign that he's angrier than he's willing to admit to even himself.

Tony's face gives him away again.

"For how long? A week, a month, since he kidnapped you? After he broke in here?" He heads back to Tony's desk, places his hands on the tabletop

"Month or two." Tony says, frowning, as though he's not entirely sure himself.

"That's it. That's all you have to say. What the hell are you thinking Tony?" It pisses him off how flippant Tony is about it. He always has been like that, acts first, thinks later. Of course, later, when he's not so fixed on being angry, he'll realised that he's also a little pissed that the bastards managed to get so close to him so fast, when his and Tony's relationship is about thinking and rethinking- wondering if he's about to have another ex, if it'll even get that far.

"Well I'd apologise, but I think you'd smack me on the nose." Gibbs glares at him for a moment before turning away again, afraid he really might 'smack Tony on the nose' though punch is probably a better word.

"And I'm also not sorry… Boss." Ironically, he stops in pretty much the same place he did last time, only this time he can't bring himself to turn and face Tony, stands there instead with his back to him, and clenches his teeth hard enough for them to make a horrid grinding noise.

"Was he the one who fucked you last night?" Turns back and eyes the bruises on Tony's neck, can't believe what's just come out of his mouth. By the look on Tony's face he's having some trouble with it too, throws a look towards Kate who's now staring openly at them both, doesn't look like she has any plans on pretending she doing otherwise.

"Yeah he was… and I don't think my Boss would really give a fuck." Tony has that accusing tone in his voice now and his face looses its apologetic expression as he stands up.

"Don't even attempt to draw attention away from the fact that you've screwed up. Again."

"Who I see outside of work is none of your damn business. You're not my father- you don't get to inspect my damn dates."

"Is that it? Tony whatever the hell he's telling you is just to get into your pants- he's a lying bastard. He doesn't give a damn about anything but himself." His voice softens a little- the Boss that he is surfacing through the Jealous Lover that he isn't. He's been there himself- a lot, pretty face, cute arse... it was embarrassing how fast every scrap of common sense you'd ever had could go out the window.

The sympathy doesn't last long though, he doesn't have a lot as a general rule, and Tony snorts at him.

"It's not like that." He says almost casually, shrug thrown in and all- like Gibbs is making something out of nothing. Like it doesn't matter.

"I'm not-" Tony steps around the table, bringing them face to face- nothing between them and whatever it is that he's 'not' Gibbs will never know.

"What is it like then Tony? Does he leave money beside the bed after?" It's out of line, he's pretty sure it's as out of line as he can get, knows this before he says it, but just goes right ahead and spits it out anyway. Maybe he wants Tony angry enough to hit him- maybe he just wants a reason to hit him back.

"Fuck you Boss." Tony actually glares at him, first time ever, Gibbs can see the anger in his eyes, then his gaze drops, with his shoulders, and the sentence comes out in a kind of flat way. He's disappointed, Gibbs realises when Tony meets his gaze again, disappointed that he would sink low enough to say something like that to him- good, at least their both in the same boat now.

Funny thing is, is that he feels guilty about it too, isn't even sure how that works when he still angry enough to seriously consider taking a swing at Tony.

"He is beneath you Tony."

"Not last night he wasn't." It's the flippant tone that gets him- or maybe it's something else entirely and for all his actual consideration on hitting Tony, ironically he doesn't even realise he's going to slap him until he does. Has no clue why he does it right then- over some stupid dig, he'd said worse himself not seconds before.

"Jesus Tony I-" He actually almost says that thing that he doesn't ever say- unfortunately he's forgotten who he's dealing with. Gibbs vaguely notes Tony's shoulder shifting before he pulls his arm back and clocks him square across the jaw, it's so unexpected that he actually stumbles and winds up on his arse on the floor- fair enough really since he hit Tony first, though he'd hardly been aiming to hurt, which Tony so clearly was.

"What the hells wrong with you two?" Good question… Kate almost tips her chair over in her hurry to get up and around the desk, which is pointless really, since there isn't anything she can stop. It's done already and she stands at Tony side instead, at a loss. Tony's lip's split, small line of blood sliding down towards his chin. By the feel of it, his nose is bleeding as well; warm trickle above his mouth and Tony looks as shocked as he feels.

"Boss I-" Tony actually leans down to help him up.

"Get out." Gibbs has no clue what he means exactly, but Tony takes it as out of the building- doesn't even grab his bag before he leaves.

"Get back to work." He pulls himself up off the floor and snaps at Kate- for no reason in particular, she's just there. His desk and chair wind up as outlets as well… and those papers.

Stupid fucking papers.

It's almost funny.

Interdepartmental transfer papers- with his name across the top. He'd wanted it. Had wanted Tony enough to give up his team- maybe even his job. Has never misjudged something so badly before in his entire life.

It's almost funny.

Gibbs tears the folder in half across the middle before tossing it in the trash.

…_So fucking stupid…_

-.-.-

Tony looks at the slips of paper in the folder in his hand and wishes he'd thought about it longer.

Sits on his lounge, bare feet up on the upholstery, half-empty beer bottle in his other hand and he brings it up to his mouth and drains the dregs. Closes the folder the sets it aside before leaning back and pressing the cold glass against his eyelids, wishes Morrow hadn't caught him in the lift when he had. Then realises how stupid that is- he'd punched Gibbs in the face, he'd pretty much been fired before ever seeing Morrow anyway.

He'd punched Gibbs in the face… he was probably very lucky he still had all his body parts.

Bastard had hit him first…

Raw nerves rubbed yet again and Tony threw the bottle at the wall, sparks of anger snuffed out abruptly when he heard it shatter- realised he'd have to clean it up. Perfect end to a perfect day.

Tony pulled himself off the couch with a sigh, heading to bed, realising that really he should've been happier, hadn't he been considering a new job just a few months ago... Until Gibbs had pinned him against a wall and threatened his life for considering it- no chance of that happening this time.

Tony sighed and hauled his shirt off over his head, kicked his shorts off before sliding under the covers, took a few seconds to straighten them out enough for sleep. Since he had yet to change them, they still smelt like Ari- like sex.

Tony winced, shifting, hand digging around under the sheets as something cold brushed his back. Came up with a silver bracelet that wasn't his, thick links catching the light spilling in through the open bedroom door, bathroom light still on.

For a half second he wanted to throw it at the wall, wanted it to shatter like the bottle. Since it was metal though and not glass, he had a better chance of putting a hole in the wall and after taking the time to think over that ugly fact, he had to face another. What had happened wasn't Ari's fault and even it had been, tossing a bit of jewellery at a wall wasn't going to hurt him at all.

Tony slid the chain around his wrist and fastened the lock before tucking his arm back under his head. He wasn't sorry for it, had meant it when he'd told Gibbs so. He liked Ari, hated some of things he done, but liked him regardless. Tony felt the cold metal around his wrist, inhaled the scent of cologne on his sheets, the faint feel of hands on his hips, he frowned in annoyance, he was starting to miss the man already.

He missed Gibbs already.

…_So fucking stupid…_

Chapter


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Role-Players suck. There I said it!**

**Sorry for the huge gap guys- this tiny section has been written and re-written a whole of 51 times and no I'm not kidding and I'm still not entirely happy with it- but figure it was time to move on and deal with it. Thanks for the reviews to anyone still reading my incredibly slow work. Your all gorgeous.  
**

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

_**Throw Me A Line**_

_People can be divided into three classes, the few who make things happen, the many who watch things happen, and the __overwhelming__ majority who have no idea what has happened.

* * *

  
_

Tony starts working for the FBI- for Fornell and his life officially grinds to a holt. However, that has little to do with workload and everything to do with personal choice. His life continuing would mean he'd have to deal with all the unanswered messages on his machine. He doesn't want to have those conversations with Kate and McGee. He already knows whom they're going to side with, especially Abbey; he doesn't need an actual run through, easier just to tell himself he's too busy.

His new team is again something of a collection of weirdos- which is amusing since the guys in Baltimore were so straight-laced and normal- cookie cut copies of each other almost. Baltimore was such a long time though- things have changed- he's changed.

The FBI lab is bigger- has it's own team of three, Matt Caplan the head tech though spends ten hours of the week in the field with them. He's a tall broad guy with, from what Tony's heard, a constant string of oddball boyfriends. He also has a major letch for club music and it was fast becoming common to walk in on him shaking his arse.

Constance Webb is something of a shorter Mexican version of Gibbs. Though really the two are frankly more different than they are the same. However, she spends his first week there doing little else besides going over his reports and explaining that 'no that's not how those are filled out here…' and wearing that 'I want to give you a good sound whack' look. It's so reminiscent of his first week with Gibbs that by the time he starts noting the numerous differences between the two, the association's already too firmly in place.

Georgia Miles from he'd seen was a female version of his self from days gone by. He met her before anyone else, in the lift on his first day of work, where, after learning who he was, she had called him boss and told him he had a cute butt… it'd just kept going rapidly downhill from there, though she nursed something of a serious boot fetish and didn't have the slightest interest in movies.

Tony never gets the chance to meet Ron Sacks replacement- by the time he starts the man himself is back at his desk- on restricted duties with his arm still in a sling- but at his desk never the less. Tony fully expects him to be a pain- snide and resentful over Tony being there. He isn't though- or if he is he hides it well.

Robert Mills… has the personality of a dishcloth- otherwise Tony doesn't know much about him that isn't included in his file. In fact Tony's learnt exactly one thing about the man by talking to him- which is simply that, it's painful to try to talk to him.

All in all he's happy with his team and he's happy with work- frustrated and often embarrassed because he still hasn't quite got the 'boss' thing down as well as Gibbs and Fornell do- but happy never-the-less, which makes the flaming wreckage of his… personally life seem less important- or at least more ignorable.

Fornell has other idea's though. It starts with them arguing over excepting help from another agency, which frankly Tony has no problem with, because they could use a few extra sets of hands- not that there's anything wrong with his team's, but 5 people can only handle so much work and blaming them for it isn't going to change the ugly fact. It's the NCIS part of the equation that's he's having serious trouble with. Figures, it's just too cliché to actually have that kind of bad luck.

"Look DiNozzo-" In two months the man has yet to call him Tony even once, which frankly isn't an intimacy, he wants anyhow.

"I'm just please as punch you took the job, and as convenient as it is to have you here working twenty-four hours a day, 7 days a week, if you keep using my department as a hidey-hole- I am, eventually going to shoot you." Fornell says matter-of-factly.

"Or someone else will." He adds without a trace of humour and Tony wonders briefly if it's still bad luck when there's malicious intent involved.

"I mean my god son-" He hates people calling him son, he hates a lot of things Fornell does, he also doesn't think he could work with the man if it were otherwise.

"You're gonna burn out quicker than a damp matchstick." Tony doesn't have much to defend himself with. Though in future, he has to remember that Fornell isn't stupid, even if he likes to play it that way.

"You know about me and Gibbs." He's not exactly surprised, since that last shouting match they had, being held in the middle of NCIS and all, had to have gotten around.

"You dated one of his wives, you were both dating the same girl… you were both dating each other… I don't care." Not _'I don't know'_, because Tony's pretty sure he does actually know, despite the speech.

"Time to stick it on a shelf and move on Agent DiNozzo- unless you're telling me that you think NCIS isn't competent enough to work with us." Tony would never say as much- even if he did think it, which Fornell already knows. God, Tony loathes the man, which he supposes- all things considered, is a good thing.

-.-.-

"Good morning Agent DiNozzo." Ice-cold professional detachment and frankly Tony was sort of expecting as much, he guesses it's better than another slap in the face, maybe.

"Good morning Agent Gibbs." He's not sure whether he's trying to be professional or is doing that childish 'anything you can do better' thing that Kate's accused him of in the past.

"You have a copy of the case files?" Tony asked, really wanting to let the silence drag.

-.-.-

"And the evidence- arrived yesterday- Abbey's sifting through it now." Anyone who didn't know them, would probably take them for near-prefect strangers; vague work acquaintances at the very best. His team would even quite possibly have been left wondering if they gave the faintest fuck about each other anymore, if they'd actually been there to see it.

Gibbs was neither a prefect stranger- nor one of his team though and although Tony's complete lack of expression was pretty cold, he knew him too well. He knew himself too well and no matter how thoroughly he'd managed to superficially convince himself otherwise in Tony's absence, he still gave a damn, he had too or seeing Tony again wouldn't be half as fucking annoying as it is.

"How is Abbey?" Tony's disinterested tone takes on a clipped edge, which is curious, but Gibbs isn't about to pursue it.

"Fine… everyone's fine." Tony hasn't talked to any of them in a while, he's heard Kate discussing it with McGee when she thinks he can't hear her. None of them talk about Tony around him anymore, except for Ducky, who takes every chance he can to offer some inane piece of advice.

"Good to hear."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Hi all, thanks to my readers and reviewers- to anyone who's stuck with me this long. My God. I'm working, but there are only so many hours in the day and unfortunately writing doesn't fall very high on my list of priorities. Also I had a friend read a very early draft of this and as she pointed out- I've kind of skipped over the case and Tony's team and what-not... I did originally plan a different chapter... with a lot on Tony's team and very indepth case before I realised after writing about a page that it'd be very long- was not really of any import to the main story and most people probably would hate it. So yes- Tony's team for now is skipped.**

**Also I will be aiming to have at least another chapter up on Be My... in the next few days, for anyone following that as well.**

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

_**Lying, Trying And Being Bare- Oh My…**_

_The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be._

_Marcel Pagnol

* * *

_

Some things are strange, some things are as he expected. He and Gibbs manage not to kill each other, which frankly is shocking, but the man also doesn't say two more words than he has too to him which is frankly, just what he expected.

Kate, Ducky and McGee act like nothing's changed at all- like it's any other work day and Abbey… doesn't talk to him at all- not a word, which although isn't really surprising, it's still a little depressing. He kind of sort of hoped Abbey wouldn't take sides, would tell them they were both being ridiculous. Part of him more bothered by it then Gibbs giving him the cold shoulder, because he and Gibbs had never really gotten passed just working together- he and Abbey had been friends a long time.

The case wraps up in less than a week- the way a million others have. Nothing much comes of it from an entirely clinical standpoint, except they all start going out for drinks on a regular basis…except Gibbs…and Abbey. Third time they all head out together Tony starts to wonder if their off together somewhere.

He's playing with his empty glass, swirling the melting ice around the bottom and glaring resentfully at the cheap table like it's at fault for Gibbs, and Abbey being off together somewhere- probably fucking.

"I gotta get this monkey off my back." He's talking entirely to himself- but Kate's there and she answers.

"You mean Gibbs?" He looks up from the scratched tabletop, tells himself he's not surprised that Kate has him and the bulk of his current problems pretty much nailed. He must sill look it though- she sips her drink and shrugs.

"Every time you look at him, it's like…. you're trying to work out whether you could shoot him and get away with it."

"What the hell would you know about it?" He's not angry at her. She's just there.

"Well- not a lot. But there are some pretty wild rumours making the rounds. My favourite is of course- that you were sleeping with Gibbs from the start, why he hired you actually, and then that you started cheating on him with Ari Haswari in exchange for info on Mossad operatives." Kate grins and finishes her drink, almost spitting halfway through swallowing, glass dropping heavily.

"Oh and that you're now pregnant and don't actually know who the father is." She adds joyfully- smile fading rapidly, Tony guesses she expected him to laugh.

"Do people really think that's how I got my job?" He knows- knows that it shouldn't seem plausible, shouldn't matter, and yet…

"That what, I did- Fornell to get into the FBI?" Tony's not paying a whole lot of attention but Kate might've gagged at that last part. He slams his glass down and almost knocks the chair over getting up.

Bars crowded and he can't see anyone he knows as he wades to the door, Kate unfortunately in toe.

"Tony-" She catches up to him halfway up the block.

"I am not some lazy screw-up who can't do his job." He rounds on her abruptly.

"I never said you were." She doesn't shout exactly, but Kate's not the type to cower either. She's also right- which knocks his indignation down a peg or two.

"Tony-" He walks off on her again, she almost manages to keep up this time though- about a half step behind.

"Talk to me- or Abbey… or someone. The people you work with now might not see it but everyone who knows you- is starting to worry." Tony widens his steps and Kate starts to fall behind again so she grabs him and either he can stop... or pull them both off balance. He stops, doesn't fancy winding up face down on the pavement.

"I was seeing Ari." He admits- not because he has any deep trust in Kate, once again she's just there and he wants her gone, wants to disgust her so she'll leave him alone to sulk.

"I know." Apparently it's her turn to shock him.

Kate heads off up the road without him, she's still heading in the general direction of his apartment though, not her own which is the other way entirely.

"You know?"

"I'm not an idiot Tony." Kate says casually when he catches up to her, they fall into step.

"Were you sleeping with him?"

"That go against some catholic value of yours?"

"Catholic- sure." She tucks her hair behind her ear.

"Mine, no."

"I slept with him."

"Never would've guessed." Her shoe scrapes on the pavement when she kicks her heel suddenly.

"Being gay- not Ari." Kate purses her lips and adds when he looks over at her.

Tony lets the annoyance he feels at being called gay slip away, it's not worth arguing over- also given recent events he's a little short in the 'leg to stand' on area.

"It's just too cliché, like a bad punch line without the joke." It's cold out and Kate shoves her hands in her pockets.

"Were you and Gibbs-"

"No." It sounds wrong though, it's too simple.

"Well-"

"Okay now that freaks me out and scares me." She laughs, breath clouding the air.

"Shut-up." He grumbles, doesn't really expect her to listen.

"It does explain a lot."

"Like what?"

"Just the general weirdness that has been your relationship lately. Makes sense that you two have something going on."

"We don't have anything going on." Tony snorts, holds up his hand, like the statement's something living he has to fend off.

"Gibbs doesn't even like me at the moment."

"You really believe that don't you?" He really doesn't want to discuss Gibbs with her. He does though.

Kate walks him home and comes up for a few drinks. He's pretty sure she'd usually turn him down, though to be fair, usually he'd probably try to get into her pants. Lately he hasn't much felt like doing that with anyone.

She has a few beers- he has a lot... a couple of Tequila shots too, for good measure.

"Recently I seem to be drunk for all the big events in my life." He supposes, after his 5th or 6th shot.

"You're surprised Tony? Didn't your entire college life pass you by in a haze of alcohol and anonymous sex?"

Kate's heels are sitting by his front door, kicked off on their way in. Tony realizes that he's glaring at them for no particular reason, like they're about to try something shifty.

"I was drinking when Gibbs tried to lay one on me. Off my face when I propositioned him. Drunk the first time Ari messaged me- drunk when I slept with him." He's rambling and is almost drunk enough not to notice. Is slumped low on the couch he hadn't really been able to afford when he'd first brought it- a white suede thing, which seems so tacky now.

"Weren't drunk or drinking when you punched Gibbs."

"I know- I wish I had been-" Everything looks strange, off color sort-of.

"I miss him- I'm a little fuzzy on everything else in my life at the moment- have no idea what the hell I'm doing or why… but I know I miss him... guess since I'm not exactly sure on why maybe it's all still…" Maybe he's not making sense anymore, tugs at his hair in frustration because of it.

"It's divine retribution Tony." Kate surmises in a heartbeat.

"Karma. I'm betting that more than a few of the women you've sweet talked in the last few years have spent a couple of nights waiting by their phones wondering why you haven't called them back. Why you are suddenly no longer taking their calls and don't say you were perfectly up front with all of them about not wanting a committed relationship." Tony's always suspected that growing up with three older brothers gave Kate a chip on her shoulder regarding all men. But god, even drunk he is not stupid enough to voice that theory.

"Guess at least I know why Gibbs isn't calling." He sighs instead, kicking his feet up, finally realizing that the other end of the couch has been free a while.

"You realize- you were almost like a bored housewife." Kate's in the kitchen, behind his breakfast bar, eating his ice-cream. Tony has no idea when that happened, when she finished her beer and moved off his couch.

"How do ya figure?" Maybe it's just because he's a little plastered- but he can't correlate the statement at all.

"You got in a rut with Gibbs- forgot why you hooked up with him in the first place. Met another man- charming, dangerous- the kind of guy who is so smug and so sure of himself, that you know- just know you should loathe him entirely and yet you just can't seem too… Then only after messing everything up you realize there was nothing wrong with your husband, nothing that couldn't be fixed- you just felt contrary."

"The divorce was ugly too." Tony adds and laughs.

"Tony- if you ever tell anyone I said this I will tie you down and wax you- head to toe… but your attractive, your funny, smart and currently one of the FBI's best agents-" Tony's glaring at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop, Kate misreads the look.

"So- I was eavesdropping on Fornell and Morrow last week, who cares... My point is, you'll land on your feet… just as soon as you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Couple of months down the road and we'll be joking about all this." She sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than him. With that last part anyway.

"I miss you too Kate."

-.-.-

"What do you think of him?" McGee asks Tony 3 weeks later, out of the blue while Tony's standing by his desk handing over evidence, filling out the horrendous but necessary paperwork that goes with it.

"He seems- very efficient. I don't really know him McGoo." Tony says casually, looking over at his own replacement.

"Kate can't stand him and he creeps me out." McGee peers over Tony's shoulder, standing close, whispering, looking suss. Tony doesn't care enough to point it out though. Technically he shouldn't even be standing in NCIS, should have sent some junior agent to do this, but- he misses them. God help him, even McGee. Takes any chance he can get to play catch up. Even if it only involves listening to McGee whine.

"He's a Probie, Probie… He's nervous, trying to fit in. You should remember that feeling." Tony says, flicking through the last few pages.

"No he's creepy and I don't think Gibbs would ever have hired him if he wasn't in such a funk over you-" The abrupt pause is all McGee's own self-consciousness, Tony doesn't look at him until after.

"-leaving." He finishes, voice rough sounding and Tony's mind mulls over all the things that could have almost come out of McGee's mouth. Finds himself not much bothered by the possibilities.

"McGee my job change doesn't even rate up with the man's Caffeine dealer being out of his favourite brew." He's taken Kate's advice and has stopped feeling sorry for himself, so there's nothing bitter about the statement.

"I'm serious Tony."

"So was I."

"He's unfocused, he's grumpy… I don't think he's sleeping real well and if tomorrow I walk in and he has a coffee IV in well- I'll think that that's just a logical step given his recent-"

"McGee… It's Gibbs, he's always grumpy, he only seems unfocused, he never sleeps real well unless he's passed out and I think he's been mainlining coffee since birth." Tony said, scribbling his signature on the last form.

"Not like this- I know I haven't known him long but I haven't seen him like this since he was chasing Ari." McGee flounders, can't stop himself from saying the inappropriate thing this time because it's already left his mouth, he already has that 'deer in headlights' expression before Tony looks at him.

"So I guess… you know… there's a common thread at least." McGee mumbles and Tony sighs, finishes double-checking the paperwork, and sets it aside. Then McGee asks the question he'd known would eventually come from one of them. Had seriously thought it'd be Ducky. Has been dreading it.

"Why'd you do it?" There's hardly anyone else around, except for Gibbs' creepy guy over in the corner and Tony's pretty sure he wouldn't care if Gibbs himself was standing over his shoulder anyhow. It's a curious place to be, caught between not caring what people thought anymore and still feeling a little shame because he'd hurt most of the people closest to him.

"First, last and only time we're ever gonna have this talk Tim and if anyone asks I'll deny we had it…" The words stick in his throat a second.

"I don't know." Which was the only reason he was still weary of that question.

"You don't know?" McGee doesn't sound angry, just perplexed and Tony wonders which rumour he's decided is the most correct.

"A lot of things, a lot of reasons and none of them would make any sense without a lot of back-story, which I am never ever going to give you." It wouldn't hurt to make a few things clear though.

"I saw Ari socially and we had sex. Neither of our works had anything to do with it. Gibbs and I are not, were not… have never been in any kind of a relationship besides professional. Though, for reasons I should not have to explain to you, me seeing Ari still-"

"Pissed him off."

"Yeah."

"So you just left?" Oddly enough, now McGee sounds angry.

"Sorry if I upset the team dynamic Tim but because of what I did- Gibbs doesn't trust me anymore, so he could've worked with me anyway." McGee nods, still frowning, obviously still bothered.

"Is it the guy thing?" Tony asks and McGee actually glares at him.

"I am not homophobic Tony."

"Well that's super PC of you Probie, but being something in theory and practise are two completely different things."

"I don't have a problem with gay people Tony… you being one of them is what…"

"Yeah setup to a bad joke- I know." Tony says dismissively.

"If it makes you feel any better though- I am absolutely not pregnant." He manages to keep his tone serious- but McGee only smiles a little, thin-lipped.

"I think he really misses you." Tony thinks he should maybe laugh at that, even though McGee's being completely serious.

"Yeah, well, we all got our little problems now don't we Probie." He says instead, answering his phone when it starts trilling, handing McGee's portion of the stacked paperwork over to him, while Miles updates him on all the leads that haven't gone anywhere in their current case. Patting McGee on the shoulder instead of saying goodbye, not bothering to stick around, finish his call, and point out that if Gibbs missed him at all the man probably wouldn't disappear every time he turned up.

Today his timing's off though, Gibbs comes back to his desk as Tony heads for the lift; usually he doesn't see the man at all.

"Bye, Agent McCreepy." He says as he passes his replacements desk, Beck or Breck or Grey… Tony hadn't really been paying attention. He's also just flipping his phone closed, attention fractured and he doesn't quite manage to step passed Gibbs as gracefully as he'd hoped. Their shoulders bump and he drops his phone- it's certainly not the worse scrape he's ever gotten into, has had worse ones with Gibbs himself. He's glared at anyhow though, what else is new.

"Sorry." He almost says it, then almost doesn't say it, then remembers that he's sporting an FBI badge now and can say whatever the hell he wants. Snatches his phone up and leaves.

-.-.-

"What the hell was he doing here McGee?" Gibbs snaps after watching Tony leave, picking his cell back up while McGee stutters.

"He was dropping off case files and evidence Boss."

"Don't they have junior agents to do that?" He grumbles, sitting down behind his desk.

"So- the case…" McGee says, sounding awkward.

"First victim was a former Naval Petty Officer, single gunshot to the head, local PD had the case for two months. They handed it off to the FBI when it was connected to a second murder outside their jurisdiction. The FBI offered it to us when they confirmed that the second victim was a Lace Corporal, strangled and left in an alley." Gibbs paused, McGee looking baffled.

"Agent Gibbs would've okayed the case Agent McGee." Sean Grey cut in.

"That I did Grey-" He was a little like McGee in that blonde, doe-eyed, baby-faced, 'is he really old enough to be an agent' kind of way.

"Care to guess why the cases where linked?" Gibbs asks, dark brown eyes watching him steadily. The kid's quieter than McGee though and isn't ruffled by much.

"I've only looked at a few FBI report summaries so far but, the victims were each a different sex, both Caucasian but also several years apart in age, one was shot in her home, the other was strangled and dumped-"

"They had their dog tags between there teeth." Kate says, back from lunch, dropping her bag behind her desk.

"Yes- they had their dog tags wedged between there teeth." Grey says, turning back to whatever the hell it was he was constantly working on. Since it didn't seem to hamper his ability to keep up with work or their conversations Gibbs didn't much care.

"I just had lunch with Agent Webb, she's Tony's… anyway, she's done some profiling herself in the past and she seems to be of the opinion that they were dealing with a possible serial killer and after hearing about the case I'm- sort of inclined to agree."

"Sort of?" Gibbs downs half the lukewarm coffee sitting on his desk. Always coffee sitting on his desk these days, figures Kate and McGee have told Grey that it's the best way to get on this good side. It'll stop of course after the kid realises he doesn't have one.

"Well- there are only two victims and despite the FBI not being able to find another logical reason either of the two would be murdered, there's a lot of stuff that just doesn't conventionally fit with a serial killer. Though, after working with you for almost two years now Gibbs, if I've learnt nothing else, it's that anything's possible and actually pretty likely in some cases."

-.-.-

Kate and Gibbs go to reinterview each victim's family and McGee's left with Grey to shift through the case files. Make sure Abbey has all the catalogued evidence. He hits a bit of snag when he tries to call Gibbs though.

"DiNozzo." He get's Tony instead.

"What?" The numbers on speed dial, it's not like he could get it wrong.

"Probie why are you crank calling me?"

"How did you…"

"I can tell your voice and failing that there's always caller ID."

"I called Gibbs."

"And?" Tony's starting to sound a little annoyed.

"No I meant I called Gibbs right now… and got you. I thought I called Gibbs." There's static and what may be a muffled curse.

"You did call Gibbs; I picked his phone up by mistake." Tony says with a sigh.

"You didn't know it wasn't yours when you picked it up?"

"I didn't inspect it McGee, just shoved it in my pocket, you've got my cell number, call Gibbs and tell him I'll drop by tomorrow and switch back with him." Tony says and hangs up on him.

McGee try's again and actually gets the right person this time, the conversation however is no less painful.

-.-.-

"You know- instead of staring at that thing like it's gonna bite you- you could totally take it over to Tony's and return it, grab yours while you're there so I can stop accidentally calling your cell when I actually wanna talk to you and not Tony." Kate's right- their part of the office is dark, McGee and Gray have gone home, and Kate has her coat on, bag pulled over her shoulder. His computers off but his light's still on, Tony's phone's sitting in the middle of his desk and yes, he's glaring at it.

"You want something?"

"You could actually, you know, pick up dinner… apologise… invite yourself to stay for breakfast, that kind of thing." He's threatened to fire her before if she didn't drop it, but it had zero effect, she's like a pit-bull with a pant leg.

"You finished?" He asks, she shakes her head and shrugs.

"Or you could just sit here in the dark… I don't know why I bother." She sighs, heads for the lift.

He's still not entirely sure why she cares so much.

-.-.-

Tony gets home at a reasonable hour but thanks to the black cell he tosses onto his kitchen counter, he has the start of a rotten headache anyway. Wants to crawl right into bed but hasn't eaten since 10 that morning so it isn't going to happen.

He kicks his shoes off and loosens his tie whilst ordering what's an excessive amount of Chinese food, even by his standards. Heading to the bathroom after and stripping off, splashing cold water over his face before heading to his bedroom; is halfway through pulling on a threadbare pair of sweat pants when he stops.

Listening…

Silence, nothing… Tony tugs the pants up over his hips, shaking his head.

"Getting paranoid." He sighs, quietly, digging through his less than organised drawers for a t-shirt, finding shorts and socks and a short-sleeved undershirt that's about two sizes too small. He goes to toss it aside in disgust and hears- something again. Grabs for his gun, which thankfully after all these years, is still with him- not in the hamper with his pants, which embarrassingly he's done a time or two before.

It's nothing as obvious as creaking floorboards or footsteps, in fact there's complete silence then and there. But two seconds ago, he's pretty sure that was the harsh kind of scraping sound his front door makes when it's opened too wide and drags against the carpet.

There's not a lot to check- few rooms and there all pretty straight forward, not a lot to hide behind or under. No one there- his front door though, even from the kitchen is very clearly open. Nowhere near far enough to drag on the carpet, he can just barely see the hall through the narrow gap between the door and frame, but open never the less.

He's glad the floor doesn't creak when he steps through the lounge, wrenches the cracked door open and screams… or yells- shouts, it's a very, very manly noise.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He snaps, feels winded, Gibbs standing right outside his door, actually looking pretty shocked as well, hand at his hip like he'd been considering palming his gun.

Tony feels like he's just had a good ten years shaved off his life.

"What're you doing DiNozzo?" Gibbs snaps, re-buttoning his holster.

"Did you open my door?"

"It was open when I got here." Which explains the almost drawn weapon, Tony reasons.

"What're you doing here?" He's a little hyped on adrenalin, so it comes out snappish.

"Phone. You okay?" Gibbs says, pulling Tony's own from his pocket.

"Yeah." Tony frowns, sighing and shaking his head again, tossing the shirt he's had death grip on since he left his bedroom over his bare shoulder, pinching his nose. So wound up for nothing and now he feels really wrung out.

"I thought…" Nobody in his apartment- nobody leaving because they would've bumped right into his ex-boss like he just did. _Chasing ghosts Tony- real healthy._

"Never mind… your phones…" He steps back inside the apartment, sets his gun aside on the counter, and rubs his own arms for a second before working out why he's cold.

"Here." He tugs the sizes too small t-shirt on and snatches Gibbs' phone off the counter, taking his own back.

"Thanks." Gibbs says, sliding the phone into his pocket and then there both just standing there, Tony kind of wishing he still had his suit on instead of tattered pants and a tissue thin t-shirt.

"You didn't have to- I told McGee I was going to stop by NCIS tomorrow so we could switch-"

"Yeah he told me- I was heading home anyway…"

"Right-" Which makes perfect sense except as far as Tony knows the man's house is the exact opposite way from NCIS to his apartment. Awkward… and Tony's never been so glad to see a delivery guy turn up before.

_I think he really misses you._

"You know you don't have to go." He says, after the foods been paid for and their alone again, Gibbs heading for the door.

_I think he really misses you-_ once he thinks it he can't not think it. Especially considering the man's just driven an hour out of his way for the most flimsy of reasons.

_Abbey…_ Only maybe they're not together anymore- maybe they never were. Maybe they're just not exclusive… God maybe he just should ask.

Or maybe he should mind his own business- since it's not like he expects them to wind up between the sheets tonight; or any other night for that matter. Is starting to think he's maybe killed that possibility completely. A sentence over 5 words though would be great- an argument even.

"Really, stay- I have enough food for at least two people and the traffic right now is ridiculous, you'd probably get home the same time if you left now as you would if you left in an hour or so." He's not entirely sure why he's bothering, since Gibbs has done nothing but glare at him recently… but- that can't just be it.

Gibbs leans against the doorframe for a moment, watching him and god what was that ridiculous term they'd used in that sexual harassment seminar last year… elevator eyes. Tony almost thinks for about two whole seconds, that he's actually going to stay.

"No- I got what I came for." _Right… Thanks McGee._ He doesn't saying anything, not til after Gibbs has stepped back out into the hall and he's shut and locked the door. He should've said something… given a rude hand gesture at the very least.

"And of course I'm still here." He mumbles, feels like he's been waiting on Gibbs forever… doesn't know why he still is.

_God damn it._

-.-.-

'**It's your fault-'** Abbey's oddly angry and desperate words come to mind as he leaves Tony's apartment.

'**It's your fault he won't talk to me.'** She'd hit him then, before sobbing on his shoulder and him pointing out that technically she was the one not talking to Tony hadn't helped any. She'd slammed her palm against his other shoulder and cried harder. He doesn't do particularly well with crying from anyone, but from Abbey it doesn't feel uncomfortable so much as just painful.

'**I didn't even know about Ari… how could I not know? Tony talked to me about everything.'** Her makeup had wound up smeared against his jacket.

'**Make him talk to me again, please, please…'** He's still not sure what he was supposed to say to that, but nothing hadn't gone over too well at the time.

'**I hate you. It's your fault he left. I hate you- hate you… Make him come back…'** It makes his chest ache to think Abbey's hurting like that. But honestly he can't work out what he's supposed to do about it- about Tony. Tony couldn't get away from him or NCIS fast enough and cuffing the man too his wrist and dragging him back doesn't seem like a workable solution.

Gibbs wrenches open his car door and slides behind the wheel, slams the door closed and leans back in his seat, pressing the heel of his hand to his eye. Cock pressing lightly against his pants. An entirely new reaction that seems reserved for Tony alone, at least as far as the male population goes.

He doesn't think he's in the closet, which seems to be the shared opinion of Abbey and Kate. He's looked at men before, will freely admit that there are quite a few attractive ones out there. It's just never gone any further than that- never a tangible, physical response before now.

Before Tony.

For the first three years he'd known him.

Maybe it makes sense, sort of- Tony's funny, pretty… not hansom to Gibbs, because to him hansom will always be associated with the actors he grew up watching his mother moon over.

Tony's pretty.

Soft skinned, smart-mouthed…

He presses his palm hard against his zip, the metal of the teeth rough on his cock, even through the fabric of his shorts. Pain doesn't have the desired effect though, doesn't stifle his burgeoning erection, his hand accomplishes nothing but a nice bit of friction. He thrusts up and moans when the image of Tony, half-naked takes up residence under his lids and things go rapidly further downhill from there.

It's not a fair fight though.

Tony's cute.

Grown men aren't supposed to be.

Charming, attractive, hansom, maybe even occasionally hot or sexy.

But never ever cute.

But Tony is, and why wouldn't he be, he's thirty on the outside and about five and a half the rest of the way through. Sucks his fingers clean, can't just wipe them like everyone else, has to suck them, like the world will end if a bit of doughnut glaze doesn't make it too his mouth. Pouts when he gets in trouble and has fucking puppy-fat. Even if he took Kate's advice and started hitting the gym more often- he'd never loose it all, was in tip-top condition when he first left Baltimore PD and still had that soft stomach.

He presses hard against his hand, pants damp with pre-come. He hasn't done this kind of thing since his teens- isn't entirely willing to admit that he's doing it now. Can't stop the steady roll of his hips regardless.

Tony in an old pair of pants is just so much more provocative than it should be. His eyes are screwed shut; he's panting and hoping the windows aren't fogging.

He should've said yes- should've stayed, should go back up. Tony's so…

_Tony's… with Ari._

His breath catches first- no more pants. He opens his eyes and stops thrusting against his hand. The stray, unwanted thought doing what the hard press of metal hadn't.

Gibbs forces a breath out and slams his hand against the wheel.

He can't forget it like the rest of them, can't smile and pretend that Tony's personal life is personal and therefore doesn't matter. Tony's with the bastard and Gibbs can't smack him across the back of his head and order him not to be.

_God-fucking-damn-it._


	24. Chapter 24

AN: Thanks to all the reviewers and for all the encouragement.

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

_**Winding Down, Gearing Up**_

_Hate is a terrible burden. Consider such when contemplating forgiveness.

* * *

_

"I was a little surprised to see so many FBI agents here Jethro." Palmer's off doing god knows what with god only knows who, it's just him and Ducky, Gibbs loitering about waiting for the T.O.D. on their latest body, which is proving tricky due to a large infestation of rats congregating where the body had been dumped. They'd gotten to the liver before the ME had.

"Yeah, well we could use the help."

"A prolific serial killer who has none of the traits that would usually used to apprehend him or her… or them. Just the grizzly habit of slamming the lower jaw shut on the victims' dog tags, wedging them between their teeth-"

"Like world war 2."

"Yes- I am not surprised you're excepting help from other agencies, it just seems strange that it's the FBI-" Gibbs knows from prior conversations where this one's going.

"They had the case first. We've worked with them before. I trust them too do their jobs."

"You trust Tony."

"Duck I haven't had a fourth cup of coffee yet."

"Fine, I won't mention dear Anthony then."

"Though if we were discussing it, which we are not- a sharp mind could suppose that accepting help from the FBI may also be a way for you too see him as well."

"And why would a sharp mind suppose that I would want something like that?" He asks since obviously they're not having this conversation.

"Regardless of whatever else the two of you had going on- Tony was family for a long time Jethro- and you liked the boy before you ever hired him. Those ties are never cleanly severed." The ME explained.

"I thought Tony was good cop."

"No you hired Kate because she's a good agent and although Tony is a wonderful investigator- you hired him because he liked him Jethro… That week you were off in Baltimore chasing down Tad Williams, you never told me what happened. With you and Tony."

"Does your sharp mind suppose I had him over a table, Duck?" The ME doesn't so much as bat an eyelash.

"Nothing quite so common Jethro- Dianne left you in a particularly foul mood, a year later you still sent agents running. In tears no less. Even Stan couldn't hack it and I was very close to clubbing you over the head and hiding the body." The last part is said with a wry twist of lips.

"Then you came back from Baltimore- with Tony in toe and…"

"It was a bad case Duck- for both of us."

"I've no doubt- I've seen the reports… but you came back laughing Jethro. Tired and still very bitter- but laughing."

Gibbs stands for a moment- unsure of how to answer- not sure anymore of what the question actually is.

"So Ari threatened to rape Tony, you tried to kiss him- then left Ari bleeding on the floor. What happened after Jethro?" Duck asks- like it can really be summed up that simply.

"I got a string of ex-wives…" The two don't much relate- because the string of segues in his head are only in his head. Duck seems to follow though.

"Jethro- Tony's not a boy- he's capable of taking care of himself." Duck's right of course- but it doesn't much seem that way.

"I led him on- then tossed him aside Duck cos I got cold feet. Because of Ari- I let myself get conning by that bastard."

"And you think it's your fault that Tony's with him now?" Ducky knows him too well- it's becoming a problem.

"Isn't it?"

"Once again Jethro- Tony's capable of making his own decisions." He sounds so damn casual about it.

"Oh the hell he is. Ari is a manipulative, lying, sadist and Tony's having sex with him. How does that even happen?" He snaps and Ducky chuckles.

"And you can't give him a good slap and order him too stop can you?" The amusement should fuel his anger, instead it stamps it right out.

"It's not funny Duck." Gibbs sighs, squeezes his eyes shut for a second. Tony's having sex with Ari and working for the FBI and it's just- not how it's supposed to be.

"No- it's not, it's dangerous and stupid and Tony's probably going to end up hurt- again and you know it, which is what's got you so worked up and even though Tony's hard-headed, if you actually tried explaining that, maybe he'd listen. Because he's not a boy Jethro and is quite capable of seeing reason." If he can explain it.

"Maybe ask him why, while you're at it?"

"You got TOD yet?"

"I had it 20 minutes ago, 2 am- give or take a half hour. Rigors a good indicator, though I do so like having the liver temp to compare to. Jethro- please talk to Tony." The ME calls the last part as he's leaving- heading for the lift. Like Kate he's persistent and the universe seems to be backing them or he just has the worst luck, because when the steel doors slide open, Tony's already there- in the tiny little room, sitting in the corner with his knees pulled up, arms resting on them.

Tony has that look on his face- like something's knocked the breath from him. Jethro's seen the look before.

Once.

The second week he and Tony had worked together, when Tony had still worked for the Baltimore PD. Tony had worn that exact same look. After they'd caught the guy, just in time for Tony to have arterial blood covering half his face. Katie Pierce was the last little girl that particular bastard had ever gotten to rape and murder and after he'd found Tony sitting in the open backdoor of his car, wearing that look. Eyes downcast, chewing his bottom lip, watching his own fingers twist together.

'We didn't save her.' Tony had looked floored, like he couldn't comprehend his own words.

'No.' He'd said and propped himself against the boot near Tony

'Should've.'

'Yeah.'

'Do we ever?'

'Sometimes.'

-.-.-

"Moron." Donald mumbles when Jethro leaves, shakes his head. It's part affection and part frustration. He's already smacked Tony on the nose, knows he isn't seeing Ari any longer. Though everybody, but Jethro knows that.

He could be kind and clear it up for the man, but is rather of the opinion, like Caitlin, that they both need to stop being utterly idiotic long enough to work it out for themselves.

'**You didn't tell him?'**

'**Well obviously neither did you, my dear.'**

'**Hey if there both two clueless to work it out for themselves, then they don't deserve each other…'**

Pushing, nagging, hinting, and handholding still seemed to be fair game though.

-.-.-

Tony has to start anticipating these things- he gets fair warning- his life always starts going a little better before the carpets pulled out from under him again. He likes his team, he's talking to Kate and McGee and Ducky again and has even under slight protest gone on a date with a friend of Kate's, which although a nightmare was progress at least. Therefore, he really should have seen it coming, but he didn't and it just; feels like he can't breathe. Is sitting in NCIS elevator and frankly just really hopes it's the most pathetic he's ever been.

Gibbs does that annoying thing where he doesn't say anything- just lets the doors slide close before hitting the emergency stop and leaning against wall. Legs outstretched, hands cupping the rail. The numbness that he's feeling turns to annoyance fast.

"How long are you planning on just standing there?" He snaps finally, when they've been there in the dark for a good long while, though Tony isn't entirely sure of how long, realities still a little hazy around the edges.

Daily calls from the family lawyer, he should've guessed.

"Till you're ready too move." So casual like he can fix anything- doesn't even know what the problem is.

"You're a patronizing arsehole- you know that right." None of it has anything to do with Gibbs really, but he's there.

"Been told a few times before." Gibbs says, without any real investment in the sentence- he doesn't care about Tony calling him names.

"Ex-wives right? They were right and if I were them I would've hit you with cricket bat too." Typical, Gibbs has been so volatile with him up until now- up until when he wants it.

"It was a golf club."

"Shut up-" He clutches the rail and heaves himself off the floor then and if he were in a better frame of mind, he might be proud of himself, because he never would have had the nerve to say these kinds of things to Gibbs a few months ago.

"I don't give a fuck what you think about anything- spent four years of my god damn life on eggshells trying to get you to like me- to respect me. But I don't care anymore, I don't care what you and Abbey do too each other and rule 12 my arse, you such a damn hypocrite. So just shut-up." His self-controls shot and he knows it- he just doesn't care. Gibbs doesn't say anything, just waits, stares at him.

"And where the hell do you get off playing the paternal figure anyhow- after you tossed me out on my arse?" That gets a reaction at least, if not an actual angry one.

"That how you remember it?" **Yes… No…**

"Are we really gonna do this now… here?" Has an odd sense of symmetry too it though or déjà vu, it's not really an eerie enough feeling though for the latter.

"Because I remember you walking out on me- with Ari." Gibbs hasn't shifted, his expression and tone haven't changed at all.

"I didn't walk out on you with anyone- I didn't cheat- there wasn't an us to cheat on. I tried- you turned me down, repeatedly, remember that, cos I do. Vividly." The bickering at least eases the pressure on his chest.

"Yes there was- we weren't fucking Tony- but there was definitely a we." His tone goes from calm to clipped and annoyed in a breath and it brings Tony up short, he loses the insult that's on the tip of his tongue.

"Him- it just had to be him. You knew what it'd do to us and you did it anyway. Why- why fucking him?" Gibbs oddly sounds somewhere between seething and bitterly amused.

Tony runs his tongue over his teeth, sucks his bottom lip.

"I don't know." Which is exactly why he's been dreading that question from one of them and it only makes sense that Gibbs would be the one to ask.

"He was there." He shrugs and Gibbs thankfully doesn't comment.

"Tony, why were you sitting on my floor?"

Tony sighs, dusts the back of his jacket, and pants off before restarting the lift.

"My father died last month- lawyer just managed to get a hold of me."

-.-.-

His father's latest bimbo had arranged the funeral, two weeks ago. Tony's pretty sure he wouldn't have gone anyway, so it doesn't much matter to him that no one bothered to pick up a phone, it'd happened before with his mother. Old hat- all that.

Apparently, though, not everyone thinks he's taking it as well.

Fornell calls him in at an obscene hour on his day off because he's forgotten to sign something and the ADA's in a mood. Which he did and the ADA is, but when he steps back out into the morning light and finds Gibbs standing in the open door of his car, hands resting on the top, waiting for him, it become apparent that Fornell sold him down a river.

"If I throw a stick will you leave?" He's tired of the man- tired of the back and fourth, the push and pull and getting no where.

"Get in the car." Gibbs answers, sliding in behind the wheel, fully expecting Tony to follow the order. **No, no…** He should definitely say no. He sighs instead and hops in.

"Where are we going?" Tony asks an hour into what turns out to be a three hour drive- Gibbs doesn't answer and since there still tension rolling right beneath the quiet neither of them says much. Tony spends three hours watching scenery move past his window.

When they hit Cherry Hill it finally makes sense to him.

"I'm not getting out of the car and why don't you try minding your own damn business." Gibbs still isn't talking to him though, just parks along the side of the road and gets out, shuts his car door and Tony watches him walk off, through open wrought iron gates.

Locustwood Cemetery.

Tony drums his fingers and whistles; feels himself grow more irritated by the second. It's the longest ten minutes of his life before Tony finally give and gets out.

His father's gravestone is all shiny and new, not so fresh flowers decaying on top of it.

_I had a lover's quarrel with the world._

The inscription makes him grin; he knows his father must've picked it. A little funny and largely inappropriate, that was his father all over.

"Good to see you didn't go with the ironic 'loving husband, devoted father' one." He's glad no one else is there, because it comes out more bitter than he'd like- though god only knows what the hell Gibbs is doing- Tony can't see him amongst the rows anywhere.

He stares at the stone a little longer, but really has no idea what he should be doing. That weights still pressing on his chest, usually lightly, though here and now, faced with his father's grave it's becomes a little stifling. He doesn't feel the urge to toss himself on the ground and sob though, doesn't wanna go on a bender and certainly doesn't wanna probe all the deep seated problems he never knew he had with his father with any damn shrink or well-intentioned friend.

"Bye… Sir." The ache in his chest eases as he walks away from the grave- his attention turning to the whereabouts of his ex-boss and by extension his earlier irritation.

"Hey- again, can't you mind your own business anymore?" If he were smarter, he'd probably still be a little weary of the man. Finds Jethro lurking down at the bottom corner of the cemetery and briefly notes the headstone he's staring at before snapping at him.

Shannon Gibbs… mummy… His heart bleeds. A little while ago he would've been thrilled to know something like that about the man, but now he couldn't much care, tired of him, of tagging along at his heels.

"Hey-" He sees the date when he sees the name but that the math doesn't work takes a minute to sink in; no way Leroy Jethro Gibbs is that young.

Shannon and Kelly's right beside her.

"They were your…" **Sister and niece… sister in law and niece… please.**

"Wife and daughter." Of course and Tony now also knows why the man has a slew of women walking in and out of his life. Well why they walked back out anyhow- hell he's probably technically one of them and he still doesn't get the walking in thing.

**Small world after all…** Tony bites his tongue to keep from actually saying it. Stares at the worn headstones till they start to blur out completely.

"Sorry-" But that just adds to the awkwardness and he feels that weight more sharply again. The silence stretches and stretches.

"Tony- about Ari-" Gibbs says finally and Tony looks up at him again finally, willing to listen because even that conversation's better than the silence.

"I didn't handle it real well." Gibbs is still staring at the stones and it's not what Tony expected at all, but then when does he ever get what he's expecting from the man?

"I told you we wouldn't be a good idea- I did turn you down and then I still tried to treat you like a cheating spouse. I can't have it both ways like that. The comment about the two of you was out of line and hitting you was-" It amazes Tony how much things have changed- he's kind of sort of getting an apology from Gibbs- as close as the man likes to get too one- not too long ago he would have been ecstatic, now… They both acted like tools and Tony can square with what he did by himself.

"Look Jethro- you're right, we weren't a couple- but I did know it would piss you off and that was one of the reasons I did it and hitting me…" Tony shrugs- he's never much thought about it, beyond initial outrage, takes him a second even to understand why it's still on Jethro's mind, since the man's knocked him around plenty.

"Gibbs I'm not some battered partner-" Okay he gets it- Gibbs had been very, very angry and the man can take him- it's however, not the same thing.

"We were both pissed off and we both clocked each other. A not so proud moment of yours? Well I had a few myself around that time."

"You had a lot around that time." Gibbs states, finally looking up at him and Tony's surprised again, mouth hanging open for a second before he snaps it shut- because it's stupid to be surprised, though it's not the words as much as the rapid shift.

"Don't misread me saying 'I screwed up as well' as me saying 'you didn't do anything wrong'. You screwed up- worse than me Tony… Ari's dangerous and I don't how it happened Tony and frankly I don't care- he is dangerous and you should have more of a damn brain in your head by now. He does something stupid and you better believe one of the other acronyms in DC will string you up for it… you're not risking your job Tony, you're risking your neck and for what?" Tony bites his tongue, is betting it's a rhetorical- besides he doesn't have an answer really, has rolled it over and over in his head so many times and still can't come up with anything other than 'just because'. Gibbs is also, oh so right and that he'd never considered that angle before kind of floors him.

"I don't… I can't…" Tony sighs, decides he should probably work out what he's going to say before he opens his mouth.

"You're right-" Wants to add in an 'of course' but figures it'd come out snarky.

"But I'm not… seeing him anymore. Haven't been since before I left NCIS."

Gibbs stares at him for a while then but doesn't say anything, looks back at the gravestones instead. Tony sighs.

"He wasn't a bad person-" Tony says, digging the toe of his shoe into the grass.

"My father." He adds when Gibbs looks back up at him.

"He had a thing for expensive alcohol and cheap women but as far as fathers go he wasn't terrible." Maybe his scales off though- he's started to judge by the guys he deals with during work hours and there've been some horrors.

"We kind of just didn't talk after my mother died though." It's weird that he didn't really know his own father enough to mourn, though it's a hell of a lot weirder having this conversation with Leroy Jethro Gibbs of all people and it's reaching that insane level of awkwardness where Tony's starting to babble to keep from twitching. Like a meth bunny.

"So- what happened to them?" He gets glared at.

"They died." Tony frowns, sucks his teeth… then drums his fingers on his leg, because apparently their not discussing that and Tony's said just about everything he's ever going to want too about his and his father's lack of relationship and so he's got nowhere to go now- except the weather and that'd probably get him glared at too.

"What are we doing here Jethro?" He doesn't get them anymore- use too, but then it use to be as simple as Gibbs ordering and him scrambling to obey. Gas the truck DiNozzo, sketch DiNozzo, photograph DiNozzo… stop flirting with the co-eds or I'll toss you in the pond DiNozzo… and the occasional slap when he got distracted. It was very simple and clear and it's Gibbs' fault it went too hell and it's his fault everything else went with it.

"I do like you- I do respect you-" Gibbs says and well… at least they both sound awkward. Tony frowns… _**spent four years of my god damn life on eggshells trying to get you to like me- to respect me…**_ remembers that rant well, it's too proud of it either. Had been hurting at the time but that doesn't excuse it.

"So act like it." Maybe he doesn't have the right to make requests like that- but he's kind of tired of being glared at and is frankly half expecting to be told to piss-off anyhow.

"Fair enough. Want lunch?" Since Gibbs steps around him and heads towards the gate- it's more of a statement than a question. Tony doesn't get it.

"That's it?" Months of _'you stabbed me in the back how could you'_ and suddenly that's it.

Gibbs stops, turns on his heel, a few headstones between them.

"That's it. I hate you or I let it go and I don't hate you- so I'm letting it go. We good?"

"We're good."

AN: Yes, I know, the chances of Shannon and Kelly being in the same cemetery as Tony's father are tiny... less than... But well... if that's the biggest leap of faith you can find thus far- clearly you aren't reading most of the paragraphs.


End file.
